Vent

7/4

Well
For most, today is about family and fireworks and hot dogs and burgers or whatever straight people do I don't know.
But for me, and maybe others who knows..
Today is a day of somber.
Not only is it a reminder that this land I call home was stolen from my ancestors, and millions of others.
But, on a more selfish concern, it's a day of somber because it's a reminder that I'm sailing through my life alone.
I shouldn't be upset, I'm happy and so is he.
Him and his partner always make me so happy because they just glow.
They look so made for each other.

My ego would never allow me to say this out loud,
but I am lonely.
I want what I had those years ago, but I can only visit in my sleep and by the time I'm awake it never was and it's just so exhausting.
I'm alone, and okay.
Happy random July day, this "holiday" is a lie and so is your face.