Vent

i met a boy once

he was the worst thing for me i could have imagined

someone who blew my mind, and was just as afraid

as i was

he looked at me with a goofy smile,

doused in colors and character

each glance keeping my attention,

wanting to mirror his every move

i had never been so enamored

this beautiful boy..

i had no idea how to talk to him

i didn't know how to be good to the boy,

when the years passed and we became older

i didnt know how to cope with

all of the feelings

i was so afraid to lose what I had found,

but i didnt see i was pushing the boy away

but then I see the boy again,

grown now.

still just as beautiful

made me feel seen,

and grounded.

i was so happy to have him again

i remember the light in his face when he would turn to me

the anger when anyone else dare touch me

i touched infinity that day, with that man

i had never wanted anything more

but then, as all good things do

it ended..

that day became night

night became day

and come day time, i had to say goodbye again

with hopes of having found the one for me

i kept a flame in my chest burning warmly

hoping for the day id have him back again

but the day never came..

now, the boy and i are both adults

someone's hurt him, broke him down bad..

i listen to him bellow, and plea for someone to just see him

to hold him

to feel him

i ache to be able to at least let the boy know

that he always has someone who has faith

who will never hate him

or think less of him for what others have done

and just wants to see him happy.

he deserves it

that boy I met all those lifetimes ago

is still just as perfect

just as attractive

just as worthy

if only i were someone else,

then maybe he would finally hear me..