Vent

Old Friend

Hey..
been awhile...

I've written countless stories about one person, because I held him to a standard in my heart he wasn't at.
That's my fault.
And now that the dust has settled, after 6 years I can look back at the times we shared with the other. The football field with friends, the rooftop and fireworks, the long short journeys across your town while it was quiet.
I held resentment in my heart for you, because I felt hurt.
I still do, truthfully.
And maybe.. maybe that's okay.
I've spent too long pretending I'm special in that I can shuck away the feelings that make me human.
I hated the idea of falling in love because of the story I've been writing for myself.
And to you, old friend, I'm sorry for that.
I ruined what we had because I wore my heart on my sleeve and let the rain burn me.
I didn't see the rain for the water, and I couldn't see how much you did love me and I stepped on it and demanded more.
It was wrong, but I can't change it.
As much as I'd like to.

Our souls meshed in a gorgeous display of light, and color.
But we've drifted, and it's okay.
People come, people go.
But please know, old friend.
I will never forget the lessons you've taught me.
This story has a somber ending.
The star crossed lovers leave their light, and move on.
And what a story it was.

I can't keep holding on to what was, because I will never see what could be. What will be.
I truly wish you the most happiness one human can wish another. I hope you find him someday.
That one man who makes you feel the way you made me feel.
And if you allow it, i will always be there for you to lean on every step of the way there.
Old friend , our fire may be dead.
My care for you will always be there

But this door must be closed

And I can say, I feel in my heart, I'm happy to be hurting.
I can feel without hating it , and I couldn't have done that without what I went through with you.

If our paths cross again, I will look in your eyes with fondness.
And if you look away, and keep walking, that's alright.
There's no hate in my heart.
I don't love you the way I used to, but you are still one of the only people in this universe who knows me and i will always admire you.

So, old friend
This is goodbye.

Keep your chin up, puppy. There is a greener pasture across the mountain line.