Vent

addicted

i guess I can't be picky, can I
could be a lot worse.
all I have to deal with is what could have been
not what was
not what happened
not being wronged
i just reel in the possibilities that could have been
that in some distant universe , exists a timeline where
we could have been

anyways
I've come to a point where I feel two separate parts of me fighting for control
the cold natured, don't touch me and never flirt with me personality that closes me off and keeps me guarded from unneeded bullshit
and the adrenaline chasing, experience craving in love spirit that wants to love and let go
i don't know which I should listen to

the broken heart i wield will never heal
but until then, I can listen to loud music
and whirl around in my childish pocket reality
where we're getting drunk at some dive bar and with locked eyes, we let go
the release both of our tired and hurting souls need
ill always have that vision to tide my despair over for a short while
and to that feeling,
i am captive
it's all I have
eh, like I said

could be a lot worse, right?