Vent

Delusion

I won't pretend to understand how my head works

I'm so desperate,
I'm searching so hard
for any clue that I still cross their mind

that they see my face in the crowd
that they think of me when something smells good

that I had the same lasting effect in their lives,
that they had in mine
because damn, I still feel it

the lack
the void in the shape of a persons touch
long forgotten

I think to myself,
maybe this ones for you...
maybe you're the gorgeous skyline
maybe it's you they can't escape from
maybe,
somehow..
he still wants you back

but all of those hopeful nothings turn to ash,
forming a crest I wear on my chest with a forced hand
forever binding me to my longing,
strapping my sadness to my body like bondage
holding me to a standard no one can make

just dragging me back to the harsh reality that is

it's not about me
it was never about me
and I need to stop putting myself where I
do not belong