Running in circles(Post Malone Story)COMPLETED

48

As soon as the shoot had ended I packed up quickly and got out. Slipping out the door without a word. Not even saying goodbye to anyone, again. I couldn't stand all the sad looks I'd get.  Them feeling sorry for me. Maybe it was me that was no good at goodbyes.

I drove home quickly racing away from my problems to the safety of my apartment and got into the bath straight away. I poured in some bath salts hoping they would help take away some of the tension from today. I sang into the bath, letting the water soothe me. I needed the scolding water to burn the memory of today out of my brain. I was glad I had gotten it out of the way but I didn't want to have to replay the awkwardness over and over constantly in my head. I'm not sure how I thought it would play out but I didn't think it would be as awkward as it was.

I need to decompress, to tell Ashlen how it went. I'd seen that she had text me half way through the shoot but I didn't want anyone to notice that we where in touch. I would speak to her later but I needed some me time. I pampered myself for the first time in a long time, taking time to do a face mask and shave my body from head to toe. I hadn't washed my hair in about a week because of my busy schedule and practically living on a plane. Dry shampoo had become my best friend these last few months. I was just rinsing off my now silky smooth legs when I heard a knock on the door. I slipped a towel around my body and towel dried my hair on the way to the front door. I didn't even think to check who it was first, just assuming it would be Ashlen annoyed I hadn't text her back yet.

"Austin?" I look out in the corridor to realise it's just him. "What are you doing here?" I pull my towel around me tighter

"Regan, why did you leave me?" My stomach dropped. The one question I was dreading I'd thought he didn't want to know when he didn't ask me straight away.

"Austin" I sighed "Do you really want to know? Is it not best if we just part ways?" I clutched onto my towel for dear life

"No I need to know why you just left and cut me out of your life" he snapped. I took a deep breath and gritted my teeth

"Okay we're doing this then, come in" I held the door open for him. He walked past and I inhaled his scent greedily, he smelt like home. I closed the door and excused myself to get dressed. I lent against my closed door and tried to gather my thoughts. This was too much for one day. I couldn't cope. I just wanted to curl up and watch a romcom, cry with a Chinese takeaway and a bottle of wine. Preferably not Maison 9. I threw an oversized T-shirt on and a pair of pj shorts before walking back into the living area. I didn't see him at first but then I rounded the corner into the kitchen and he was stood looking at my Dads funeral card. I looked down at the ground as guilt started to overwhelm me.

"Who would have thought this card could fuck up our lives so much, hey" his words dripping with sadness. That nearly tipped me over the edge. I wanted to retreat and just let these tears fall. I gulped hard to try and push back the tears.

"My dad always wanted to be involved " I joked weakly "Do you want a drink?"

"No I shouldn't, I told my girlfriend I'd be back soon" I winced at hearing that. He didn't seem to notice he just put the card back on the fridge. I walked and got myself a glass and grabbed the wine from the fridge, pouring myself a very large measure. I took a large swig, topping the glass up straight away. I watched as Austin just made his way across my little home. He ran his fingertips across the dining table and puffed . I could help but wonder if he was thinking about our first time having sex. Thinking back I pushed him into that do that he wouldn't ask any more questions about my dad. I was such a bad person. I caused all this. I sank down onto the couch still watching him, not wanting to disturb or hurry him. I didn't want up have to explain myself and I liked having him here even if he didn't really want to be here. His presence just made me feel things, things I'd not felt for a while.