Running in circles(Post Malone Story)COMPLETED

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We turned back to continue our shopping trip, an awkward silence resting between us. We finished the rest of the shopping only speaking a few words to each other, both not wanting to broach the 'couple' remark. It was playing on my mind. Did I want to be a couple? I definitely still loved him, was definitely still IN love with him. But I don't think he is with me. I know he still has love for me, he flew across the world to basically check on me. Even when we was not on speaking terms, but he has a new life. A girlfriend that seems genuine, a house away from the spotlights of LA. A whole different lifestyle. One I didn't fit into. One that I didn't want to mess up for him.

His raspy voice broke me away from my thoughts "I don't know about you but I'm way too hungry to cook right now, want to get some lunch?" He suggested as we loaded the excessive amount of bags into the car. I just smiled and nodded in acknowledgment as I tried to stuff the bean bags onto the back seat, chuckling at how ridiculous they looked squished up against the rear window

"How are you going to be able to drive with these in the car?" I scoffed as I stood surveying the car, hands on hips

"My head out the window?" He shrugged

"Like a dog?" I raised my eyebrow at him

"I resemble that remark" he said with a wink "sooooo food. All that shopping has tired me out"

"Sure, I have no idea where though. Unfortunately my pillow fort was far too comfortable to retreat to. I haven't really ventured out" I bit the inside of my lip. I hated admitting how badly my depression had effected me.

"I'm sure we will find somewhere" he opens my door gesturing me to get in the car "if nothing there must me a McDonald's here somewhere" he chuckles before closing the door and running around to get it in himself. It felt good being back in the car with him, however I just wanted him to rest his hand on my thigh like he used to. He has a fiancé to do that with now

We drove in silence just scanning the scenery for somewhere to eat, maybe some small hole in the wall restaurant or cafe. Hopefully with not that many people, I wasn't feeling the most social today. Or for the past few weeks for that matter. I think the whole being alone again had just tipped me over the edge. I felt like the only person I could talk to was my Mom, but I didn't want her to worry and I knew that I wasn't in a place to listen to what she would have to say. I wanted to wallow in my self pity and she wouldn't allow that. Or let me blame myself, even though this has all stemmed from me.

Just a short journey from the air b n b was a tiny cafe with a beautiful terrace filled with flowers and cute benches with colourful parasols. It looked picturesque and welcoming, not too busy and it was a glorious day to eat al fresco. We made ourselves comfortable in the corner furthest away from the rest of the clientele, basking in the sunlight drinking perfectly chilled white wine. No one seemed to recognise either of us  or they where being very polite and just letting us get on with our day. We ordered two bowls of seafood linguine as recommended by the waiter and he brought us out some complimentary breadsticks, which made Austin's eyes lit up eagerly. He grabbed at the basket before the waiter managed to put it down on the table. I shook my head in disbelief and shot the waiter an apologetic look. Austin just looked up sheepishly and grinned.

"I just love breadsticks' he shrugged

'I am acutely aware' I smile, thinking back to all those times at olive garden back home. "Do you remember when the time they refused to give us more breadsticks in Dallas because you had already eaten through 3 baskets?"

"WE had gone through 3 baskets. Don't forget you can put away some amount of food when you try" he stuffs a bread stick in his mouth "Or when your your PMSing. That was always fun"