Running in circles(Post Malone Story)COMPLETED

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I was so confused the whole ride home. I kept my hand held over my lips, like it would preserve the kiss or something. At least maybe give me a clue to what was happening. Why did he keep doing this to me? What was with him? Sneaking around like we where kids. Kissing in secret. Now I felt sorry for his girlfriend this didn't feel right. I'd let him cheat on her, who was I? I wasn't a side chick so why was I allowing myself to become one.

Then was the question of why he is so hot with me one minute and so cold the next. Did he actually think I was with Smitty? If so he knows what he's doing is wrong. Does he care? Does he care about me or Smitty?

I was silently spiralling and there was nothing I could do.

I managed to keep my shot together until I got back to my apartment block. I muttered to myself as I climbed the stairs, trying not to think about the hot make out session we had here all them years ago. I  arrived home and before I even managed to close the door there's was a pizza delivery driver tapping me on the shoulder. I knew I hadn't ordered it but I hadn't even noticed someone behind me, that's how distracted I was. He probably heard my inner monologue that I was mumbling all the way up, I inwardly cringed. I thanked the delivery driver, giving him a tip just in case the orderer hadn't and put it down on my dining room table. I hovered over it hands either side as I looked down on it. It was probably from him. Who else would it be from? He had sent food this morning and had joked about sending more. Unless I was completely wrong and Ash had ordered it and she was on on her way over.

I took a deep breath before I slowly opened the lid of the box. Pepperoni and olives my favourite, I shook my head and chuckled as I saw the olives spelt out Sorry. Definitely Austin 

What did all this mean? He was definitely flirting with me at the party, even before the kiss and every time we see each other there's a ridiculous amount of sexual chemistry. My body even tingled at the thought of him. I grabbed a slice and started to eat as I thought. I was so confused with him and myself. I kept trying to tell myself that I don't want him and that it's not a good idea. Then as soon as I get a whiff of him I spread my legs eagerly, like literally. Was it just physical? Because my heart ached when I thought of him. Is that normal after 2 years apart?

I can never think of my life without him in it, even now. Whether he's good for me or not. I need him. Like some primal compulsion. Like Eve needed Adam. Like it had been wrote somewhere that we would forever be connected

Halfway through my first slice I heard a knock on my front door. I huffed as I trudged over, swinging the door open expecting a drunk Ash. Only to find a nervous Austin

"Austin..." I sighed as I leaned on the doorframe "We need to stop meeting like this" I joked nervously as my heart started to beat out of my chest, while looking at him. He stood hunched over with both hands in his front jeans pockets , looking through his lashes at me as his head was tilted down.

"I know" he lifted his head to look at me properly with a shy smile on his face. I took another bite of my pizza slice as I stepped back to let him in.

"I see you got my peace offering?" He slowly shuffled into the apartment, hands still in his pockets. His crisp white T-shirt making his tattoos stand out. I gaze at them, taking in the various ones I've never seen before. Itching to reach out and trace them like the dozen others I've already got etched into my brain. He was like a old map I knew like the back of my hand but they had added new locations to learn and admire. I yearned to get the chance to do so. 

"Yeah, thank you. But I'm curious to what your apologising for?" I say as nonchalantly as possible as I walk over to the open pizza box, grabbing another piece. He silently follows me leaning against the table as he chews the inside of his mouth. Strangely very timid, considering his boldness in the last hour. Our past few encounters had been anything but timid. I watched him as he seemed to brood over his thoughts, his teeth capturing his bottom lip between them as he stares off into the distance.