Running in circles(Post Malone Story)COMPLETED

17

The silence that fell on the room after Austin spoke was like nothing I'd ever experienced before. My heart pounded loudly in my chest, threatening to escape. It was so loud I was sure my next door neighbors could hear it.Austin's trembling hand still clung tightly to the prayer card and his eyes bore into mine, never faltering as they filled with tears.I opened my mouth to speak but somewhere between my lungs and my lips, my words disappeared.My eyes welled with tears, mimicking Austin and I slowly made my way over to him, desperate to console the crying boy in front of me.Tears streamed down his face as he struggled to keep his breathing steady and my
heart shattered into a million pieces as I watched him fall apart in front of me.I reached out to gently calm his shaking hands only to have him snatch his hand away before I could make contact.I sighed quietly and hung my head as he slammed the prayer card down on the
counter.I glanced up at him, tears still slowly rolling down his cheeks as his chest heaved,
"When were you planning on telling me?" He questioned through gritted teeth. 

I swallowed hard and let out a quiet sigh, "I wanted to tell you, I really did, I just didn't know how."He scoffed sarcastically and shook his head, reaching into his pocket to pull out his cigarettes.On any other day, I would have protested him smoking in my apartment, but I
figured given the circumstances, I wouldn't stop him."I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just," I paused for a moment as I struggled to find my words, "I didn't want to hurt you." 

His eyes widened briefly as he took a long drag of his cigarette, exhaling with another sarcastic laugh, "Hurt me? So what the fuck did you think would happen when I found out on my own?" 

"You weren't supposed to find out this way, Austin," I said, my voice wavering as I struggled to hold back tears, "I'm sorry," I pleaded, hoping he'd understand.There was another awkward silence as Austin stood in front of me, continuing to angrily smoke his cigarette. He took a deep breath and his gaze slowly found mine, softening at last. He slowly reached out and took my hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze.My heart rate managed to slow as I calmed down; he had taken it better than I expected and it seemed like his anger had now vanished. 

"Why didn't my dad tell me?" He asked. 

I sighed, "I asked him not to. I wanted to be the one to tell you, but after you left I didn't really have a way to get in touch."He offered me a sympathetic smile and a slow nod in understanding. 

He took a deep breath and slowly parted his lips to speak, "What happened to him?" He asked, reaching over to ash his cigarette in the sink. 

My mind flashed back to that day and I felt my heart twinge with sadness at the thought. I sighed softly and leaned against the counter, "He went out to mow the lawn and had a heart attack," I mumbled, "He died on the spot and I found him when I got back from school later that day." Austin refused to mutter a sound and the silence was killing me. I wanted him to say something, to forgive me from hiding it from him but he was quiet. My eyes searched his for anything, silently begging him to speak, but his face slowly changed from sadness and calm back to anger. In all my life I'd never seen him so angry, his face slowly turning red as he clenched his jaw tightly. 

He let out a sarcastic scoff and snatched his hand away from mine, "So that's why you've been pissed at me this whole time. I used to mow your lawn for your dad and now it's my fault he's dead."  

My heart sank to my stomach and before I had the chance to stop him, to beg him to stay, he turned on his heel and stormed out of the kitchen."Austin!" I pleaded, trying to keep up with him as he rushed through the apartment in a desperate attempt to leave."Austin, wait! It's not like that!" I yelled, tears beginning to return at the thought of ruining everything we had.
I finally met Austin at the door, his hand gripping the doorknob tightly as he tried to swing it open. I reached out and slammed the door shut like he had done to me so many times before.
His eyes slowly met mine, narrowed slightly as he gritted his teeth."Austin, please, I'm sorry I didn't tell you," I started, my chest heaving as I struggled to catch my breath and keep my tears at bay, "I was angry because you left, I needed you."