"WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SEE ON TV JENNIFER!!"
"Good morning to you too Cary...."I replied warily.
"Cut the bull and get to the point.You were with Jamie fucking Dornan and you didnt even tell me?" he actually sounded hurt.Idiot.
"You're an idiot Cary.Of course I wasnt!! Now if you'll just let me explain..."
So once he'd calmed down enough,I told him all about my eventful night and when I got to the date part....
"HOLY SHIT YOU GOT A DATE WITH JAMIE FUCKING DORNAN!So,did he call you?You gotta call him Jen,you need time to dress up!"
I sighed."Care,calm down.I dont even know if he is going to call or not.."
"Oh Jen,cut the insecure girl crap.He's gonna call and I know it.Duuude,Jamie Dornan.."I could practically hear him smirking down the line."How was his accent,Hardy?"
Ugh,he knew about my weakness for accents.Oh my freaking gawd Jamie's accent. Aaaand there I started practically fangirling on the phone about the Adonis I had a date with soon enough.
When Cary finally hung up,I was about two times more excited for my date than I had been before I had answered the call.Damn.
I was NOT gonna hang around waiting for him to call.Better to get some work done.
I took out my guitar and started making notes,changing some lyrics and if inspiration hit then noting down new lyrics.I had an idea for a new song that would go great on the new album.I had no doubts about my new record,no matter what Wendy had to say.Screw those sappy love songs.True,I might have become a little too cynical after my past....experiences.Who gives a shit.All love does is break us down and start the cycle all over again;put yourself out there,get your heart smashed and then let time heal all those wounds,to make it beat again.
Huh...I might be able to make some lyrics out of this.Although...this song is a little too happy for my taste.Guess it doesnt hurt to keep note of it.
I soon realised that acoustic guitar wont work for this one.Gotta get my punk princess out.After tuning up my electric guitar,I got to work intent on blowing off enough steam as I could before the date.
This song is so much fun to play!Of course the lyrics help too...Im aiming for light hearted and relatable for this album.
"She took him faster than you could say sabotage,
.....she underestimated just whom she was dealing with.
Shes not a saint n shes not what you think
Shes and actress woah ohh...
...............
..she took him faster than you could say sabotage....."
I finished with a loud strum to the guitar,feeling all kinds of refreshed and light.
To say this song is a wee bit personal would be an understatement.It always feels good to put out all your emotions through music.Though having someone with me,who feels the same,and you know,to work with together would be rad.Instantly,I think of Gee.Stop right there.Ive been existing just fine,without him.But thats it.Ive only been...existing.Just going through life,not really living it.It hurts to know that I could easily forgive him and have him back.Sometimes having your best friend also be the love of your life sucks.
But I cant do that.
I cant live with the fact that Gerard still uses.That,apart from cheating is another hard limit for me.I guess our pasts really do dictate our lives...
Whos to say even if I do forgive him,he'll stop using?And theres another matter abour Lindsey.Im pretty sure he doesnt really have feelings for her.At least not any more.Then why....
I close my eyes in frustration.Ugh.Talk about a mood change.
I break out of my reverie,get up and keep everything back in its place.
All of a sudden,it feels really lonely here.After having the guys here for days,what did I expect...
~~~~~~~~~~
"Uhm..Hey Jennifer?" the now familiar accented voice spoke through the phone.At this all remnants of sleep vanished.Finally!
I replied cheerfully,"Hey Jamie!"
There a sigh of relief from his side.He didn't think I forgot did he?
"Oh good...You were actually expecting me.I thought maybe..."
"Dont be silly.I could not have forgotten even if I wanted to.Have you read the papers yet?" I asked dryly.Its one of the reasons I havnt stepped out today.
He laughed,"Yes I did actually.Anyway....Wanna make good on that date we have pending?"
I grinned,"Hmm..Yes!"
Again he chuckled."Im glad.How bout dinner tonight?"
"Thatd be great.7?"
"Yup,Il come pick you up...Save you again." I could hear the grin in his voice.
"Yea yeah,I afraid im gonna need the help.Il be ready by then...."
"Alright...well..bye then Jennifer."
Is it way too early for "no,you hang up"?..I guess it is.
"Bye Jamie.."
