After our second date I was certain Jamie was staying.There was no doubt.I arrived at this conclusion soon after our second date.The emotions that took over were definitely rare.With Jamie...it was easy to forget.His shy yet totally charming personality had slowly started to break down my high walls.Sure,we may be a little different in certain areas like our upbringing and families,the people we hung out with.But I'm certain,for now,we'll be okay.
Speaking of family..I felt a pang of guilt as I thought about how much I had alienated myself from all of them.I might not have the correct definition of family but all these eclectic,warm,fun people that I call my best friends are also the closest that I've got to family.
I decided to stage a mass hangout,inviting all of them.Sitting in my living room after a Skype session with Jamie,who had left the very next day after our last date to Scotland for his T.V show,I realised how much I missed those guys.I missed ALL the guys from MCR (I do mean all of them,but..I'm still not ready to face Gee just yet.),Cary,Andy..
I quickly gave a call to Ray.He picked up on the second ring."Jenyy?Wow it's so good to hear you!" He really did seem happy to hear me and not annoyed that I had ignored them for so long.Ray is a sweetheart.I hadn't gotten much of a chance to get to know him as much as the others but I promised myself I would soon.
"Awww Ray,I feel so bad for not meeting you guys for so long..I miss you so much!"
He laughed at the other end,"you have no idea how much we miss you too Jen."
I quickly told them about my plans and in return he quickly agreed even before I finished my sentence.
"Hey Jen? Its stupid to ask but without-"
I interrupted him."I'm sorry Ray-Ray...not yet.Im really sorry." He sighed but agreed.I told him I'd get back to him as to when this was taking place.With that I hung up and went on to call Cary.After the initial squeals and I miss yous,I got him to agree too,promising to book his tickets.We both decided that we would meet on Friday.Next,Andy.
"Woah Jen,super creepy.I was just gonna ring ya.Well....I had someone I wanted you to meet."
I squealed."Oooooh Andy,that's so perfect.I was just calling to see if you were free on Friday cuz me and all the other guys were meeting up.I'd love to meet your girlfriend!"
"That's awesome.I would have called sooner but I wasn't sure...." I got what he was saying."Anndyyyy,of course I wouldn't have a problem.I broke up with you remember?" I smirked as he chuckled.We said goodbyes and I hung up,satisfied.
Suddenly feeling excited,I jumped up and down on the couch.I glanced at my phone in surprise to see it ringing.
Checking the caller ID,my eyes got big. No.Way. Its Patrick!!! They're back from Japan!
I answered quickly with an excited yell."Patrick! Omg omg omg!You're back,aren't you?!"
He let out a throaty chuckle at that. "Not yet but we'll be there tomorrow and the first thing we wanna do is see our little sister."
I rolled my eyes."Haha,you know you're just a few years older,don't you? Anyway,this is really turning out to be prefect because I was just calling everyone over on Friday." And just like that all the plans fell into place.Patrick and Pete were gonna join us!My heart pattered all over the place thinking of how I'm gonna see all the people that I love the most together day after.
Oh you didn't know Patrick and Pete were part of that?Lemme explain.
Patrick Stump and Pete Wentz were the first people I met when I was just starting out a few years ago.Shy,totally defenseless against the scary monster that is the music scene,they instantly,you could say took me under their wings.
Their band Fall Out Boy had just begun to rise rapidly at that time.And I guess part of the boost in my fame was because of them.They considered me as their little sister that they had to protect at all costs then and me,well I got the best brothers to sort of replace the one who didn't want that role.I only say sort of since he's my blood and that's a bond you can't break,can you?But now,with all of us busy in our own careers and much more experienced,they had jokingly said that they had "set me free".
We didn't meet as much as before but they still mean the world to me.Fall Out Boy had a concert in Japan almost a year ago and then they decided to take a break over there with all the band members.Now I guess they were coming back.Enough history.Im so excited!
I decided to go to the gym to burn off all the excited energy.Carpe diem, guess.Hitting the treadmill I ran till I couldn't anymore and cycled till I felt the burn in my calves.Exercise and me arent good friends but your body is the temple and yada yada...
I got home to a text from Wendy saying that my single was processed and ready to be released.My eyebrows raised in surprise.That was quick,I had just gone into the studio a few days ago.Promotion had already started on Twitter and from what I could tell,the fans were relieved and excited to have me back.I hope they like it.I guess I had back tracked in my adamant refusal to have anything to do with love songs cuz I think this one would sort of classify as one.I suppose Jamie had something to do with that.I gave her the go ahead to release it online tonight.A bit sudden,but I wouldn't wait any longer. Maybe the fact that it was like a message to a certain someone was the reason behind my impatience.Lets rewind to a few days back.
Jamie had just left to catch his flight and I returned home secretly frustrated.I had spent the whole date comparing everything to the days that Gerard and I had spent together and finding everything not up to my imaginary mark at all.I kept wishing Jamie was more expressive with his face like Gee was.Not that he wasn't,whenever he was shy or embarrassed it warmed my heart to see him go absolutely tomato red but if Gerard had something to say or admire,he would always find a way to philosophise it.It was honest to god too adorable for his own good.As I changed into some clean clothes it was like that invisible dam broke down.I honestly didn't realise when I'd started crying but the feeling of missing him came crashing down on me so hard that I felt momentarily helpless.It was like the last two months,I was flying around, unwilling to accept it but right now it felt like gravity was bringing me down unmercifully. I leaned back into the wall as warm tears came crashing down.it wasn't pretty so to speak.
