when it's all over | jean k.♡

chapter 6

"I think I have feelings for Jean."

Sasha's entire face lit up as she looked at me. Her arms flying in the air as she spoke. "Connie owes me $50!" She ran over to me, grabbing my shoulders. "I knew you'd be the first to confess!"

"Sasha I'm being serious." I groaned. "And I said I 'think' not 'I know'." I moved her arms away from me, walking past her to sit onto the couch. She followed behind, taking a seat in the chair. "Right, this is a serious matter."
Her smile faded but I could tell she was trying her best not to freak out. "So what makes you "think" you have feelings for him?" She asked.

"I'm being selfish. How was your date yesterday?" I tried changing the subject, not even sure if I wanted to talk about this at 8 in the morning.

"No no. We can talk about my date later. Right now is about you and your feelings for Jean." She smiled softly. "But actually can we eat first? I'm starving."

"How about we discuss everything over breakfast?" I smiled.

Sasha quickly nodded, once again never turning down food. We got ourselves ready and made our way out of the apartment building. I drove us to the small breakfast diner located in the middle of the city. We sat by the large window, watching as people walked along the streets and the chaotic morning traffic of others trying to go to work.

I sighed, taking a sip of my tea. "He won't leave my head."

"I think you know you have feelings for him, you just don't wanna admit it." Sasha stated, taking a bite of her sausage.

"No, I genuinely don't know. I can't tell if it's just good sex or if it's me liking him. None of this happened until we had sex that's why I don't get it." My head found its way into my hands, my elbows on the table. The food in front of me untouched and getting cold. "On top of it, I've never even liked someone before. I've always just had sexual interactions I've never had a boyfriend. How am I supposed to know when I like someone?" I groaned.

"Well have you had any romantic thoughts about Jean before you two... ya know?" She raised an eyebrow, taking a drink of her apple juice. "I mean think about it. Has it always just been a sexual attraction to him or do you think there was more?"

I thought for a moment. Remembering every little moment with the male. It's true we always kind of flirt with each other but I always thought it was just us messing around.

"I can't tell. I always assumed we were just friends so I never perceived it as anything more. I mean..." I paused, recollecting more times with the male. "I guess it was always flirty but being friends for so long I might've unknowingly pushed it all aside?" I asked myself.

"I mean this in the nicest way possible." Sasha started. "I feel like you're used to guys wanting you for sex, so to have Jean showing affection outside of sex you probably just never thought anything of it." She shrugged, finishing her last bit of food.

"To be fair, I've only ever wanted guys for sex as well but there was just something so different about that night with Jean." I sighed. "He called me beautiful and looked at me in a way that just.... god what am I saying." I was so conflicted even though deep down I knew the truth.

"I'm listening." Sasha softly smiled. "Just tell me everything you're feeling. I know this is all probably new to you and with it being one of your best friends I understand how weird it can be but if you want my opinion I think you and Jean would be great together!"

My face turned a dark red at her words. "I just- I've never saw him as more than a friend until that night. The way he held me, the soft kisses after, and last night.... you might not wanna go in the hot tub for a bit." I awkwardly laughed.