Forever Together (MaxTul)

5- Sad memories

Max POV

To tell you the truth, I was really pissed yesterday when I saw him having fun with his friends while I didn't even know he was back in town. I felt like I really wasn't that important to him, one more time! Yeah, just like I felt the day he decided to go to New York without telling me first!

I remember how I felt when I heard the news from Tay... It was like my world was falling apart.

I remember what I told him when I called him that day, "Tul, I heard you were leaving town? I thought I would be the first to know? I don't understand why you didn't let me know? Did I do something? Can you tell me what's going on, please? Don't tell me it's nothing...because something definitely went wrong... I want to explain, but I don't know what to say because I don't know what the hell happened... I just feel like I'm a part of your decision to leave... Hell, what could be the reason? Does it have anything to do with the scandal we're facing? I thought we had already cleared things up... talk to me please!!!" I remember asking him all these questions, talking fast and stumbling over my words. But the answer I got was just, "You don't have to worry... It's not you, it's me... And I'm sorry, Max... ", and then nothing more...

The pain I felt that day was indescribable... but it made me realize that I was very much in love with him. The thought of him leaving me, the thought of not being able to see him again, the thought of us living apart... It was hard for me to even breathe.

I was used to being with him eight days a week, and once he was gone, life wasn't the same for me. Two years later, I tried to start over... but every time I tried to be with someone, all I could think about was him. So I didn't bother trying anymore... It's been three years now that I haven't let anyone into my life. Since my heart was already in the hands of someone else.

I'm still angry and lost. And at the same time, I can't hide the fact that I'm happy to see him again. But the fact that he wasn't able to talk to me really pissed me off! What was really the problem?

*****

"Sh*t Tay what lousy game are you playing here?..." Max shot at the phone! He was angry because Tul was living in the other part of his house without him knowing it! When Tay came to ask him if he could help one of his friends for a short time because his house wasn't ready, he agreed to let him have the other part of his house because he never used it anyway... But knowing that it was Tul made him uncomfortable seeing how their relationship was now...

"Please calm down, Max... I wanted to tell you, but I was scared ... I knew you wouldn't be okay with it if you knew it was Tul," Tay replied a little scared... Max never yelled at him like that...

"I'm sorry Tay for yelling at you, but this situation just doesn't sit right with me... You know how things are between us now... He wanted to be out of my life and I'm doing everything I can to make things easy for him or for us... And that wouldn't help at all!" Max was trying to calm down...

"If I did it, it's because I want you to make it work ... For two years, I've watched my two friends self-destruct, live with regrets, not be happy ... I let him stay there to create opportunities for you guys to meet and work out your misunderstandings or problems..." Tay replied with a sigh. His friend worried him, he had to do something for them.

"Actually, I don't have a problem with him at all ... Or to be more accurate, I don't know what's going on between us! Maybe he's just tired of me ... I know how clingy I could be back then ... anyway, whatever reason he has, I don't know because he just won't tell me! and you know what, I don't care anymore... He had a chance today... But he didn't, so I don't fucking care!" Max was really disappointed, he had been waiting for Tul to come back, even if they couldn't have the relationship they had back then, he at least wanted to know the reason why he had left him like that...

"Max, don't make decisions while you're angry! I understand you completely, but Tul must have his reasons too... you know him well... He would do anything not to hurt you... give him some time," Tay tried to smooth the waters, sensing that Max's words were not empty words.

"I've already given him three years Tay... I'm tired of thinking about it..."

"I don't know what happened either Max ... I just know that he really loves you..."

"What...? Love me?"

"Errrr... I have to go... Tul called me..." Tay didn't want to tell Max about Tul's true feelings; it wasn't his place to talk about it, so he disconnected the call.

Max felt weird about Tay's last sentence... The way he said it was as if there was more to understand ... It was like he was trying to tell him that Tul had romantic feelings for him. He was really confused.

Actually, it wasn't the first time he felt that Tul might have more feelings for him than the special bond of friendship they shared! But he had always repressed it, thinking it was absurd... Tul didn't seem to be attracted to men... And then there was that pseudo-girlfriend who was always begging Max behind his back to leave Tul alone.

But there was one time when he really felt Tul's love for him. It was just before Tul decided to travel... That day, Tul had kissed him! It wasn't the first time for the two of them, but that kiss was just different. He had never felt the way he felt when Tul gave him that kiss. It was a kiss that conveyed a lot of emotions, he could feel love, desire, hesitation, tenderness... He was so shocked that day... He didn't know how to react, his heart was beating so fast... Not knowing what to do, he fled to the bathroom to calm himself down. When he came back, Tul was already gone.