Forever Together (MaxTul)

12- Heart behind my eyes

Max POV

After hearing Tul open up about his feelings for me and the reasons why he left me then, I honestly didn't know how to react or what to say! It was something I had been hoping to hear since the day he left, but now I really don't know how to deal with it all...

I'm happy because it was the words I wanted to hear from him for a long time, I dreamed of hearing those three words from Tul, which made me stay strong and wait for him these three years. Since he left, there is something missing in me and hearing Tul saying "I love you" filled that void.

But I've also felt guilty because I've realized that if I'd had the courage to confess my feelings back then, maybe things wouldn't have gone down the way they did, but honestly, I wasn't sure about my feelings back then, so I didn't want to confess them until I was sure... Nonetheless, it's true that I couldn't protect him when he wanted me the most, so I hurt him deeply and made him walk away from me... If I had dealt with the problem with the scandal more efficiently, Tul wouldn't have had to leave...

I feel like I don't deserve his love at all... But I can't let Tul go anymore, the thought of him all these years has ignited a flame in me that I can only tame if we are together. I'm sorry to be shameless now, but my guilty conscience will have to wait because I love him and I won't lose him one more time! If I don't confess right now, I feel like I won't have the courage to do it after...

"I'm really sorry Tul, I let you down so many times, I made a big mistake back then when I left you alone with everything that happened. At the time I felt like something changed between us but I thought you would have told me if it was something I should know or worry about like you always do, so I just brushed it off. I failed to see your pain and struggle, I'm really sorry! You know now that I'm sure I'm partly to blame, it kills me to know that I should have been a better man, you know the kind of man you needed back then, I should have always been there for you when you needed me, but when you needed me the most I wasn't there, I'm really sorry that I hurt you!!!! And tonight I hurt you again because of my own jealousy... please forgive me for that, can you?"

I could feel tears running down my checks! I wasn't the type to cry when sad or hurt! I was good at holding back my emotions! But now, in Tul's arms, I just couldn't be brave Max anymore! I felt Tul gently stroke my back, then he looked at me.

"Maxi, it wasn't your fault at all! It was my choice not to tell you about my feelings, I was scared and didn't want to lose you, you don't have to blame yourself for that. And I'm grateful that I know you were trying to help me then... it was me who was too sensitive and took things the wrong way! I know what you did for me after that, I saw the press conference you held to clear my name and apologize to our fans... it's me who should be thanking you for always having my back. And for what happened tonight... um, let's just forget about it, okay?"

His words comfort me a little. To tell you the truth, when I decided to clear Tul's name, even though my company didn't agree with it, I didn't expect Tul to know about it since he had blocked all his social media! but at the time, I thought it was my duty to do so! Tul was a wonderful person and hearing people slander him was just something I couldn't tolerate. My actions got me in a bit of trouble with my company, but I didn't care... It was something I should have done for Tul anyway.

When I looked at him, he smiled, his smile was bright, it was as if it gave me warmth and comfort, it helped to dispel some of my uneasiness.

I looked back at Tul "But I need to correct something!"

??" Tul looks at me with a questioning look ... Trying to figure out what he said that was wrong!

"I never rejected you... you were the one who walked away without giving me a chance to respond," I said while smiling a little... "Do you want to hear the things I thought about you? Do you want to hear my answer now?"

I could see Tul's cheeks flush, he was so sweet when he was shy... He looked at me and with a nod, he told me he wanted to hear me. I let out a small sigh before speaking.

"There are so many things I want to say, but let me start by simply saying thank you!"

I thank you because I used to be in a relationship with people I didn't really like. Actually, I can't even count the lovers I've had because all those relationships went wrong anyway. As you know, I used to think that relationships were a lot of stress. I used to think that pain was part of happiness. But all that has changed since you came into my life.

I want to thank you for guiding me and showing me love. Back then, I was just a boy and not a man, falling deeply in love wasn't the plan, but because of you and what you did for me, you made me a good man.

I'm sorry that it took me saying goodbye to realize my love for you and how I failed to show you what you really meant to me. Now I can see how lucky I am to still have you in my life, while other people don't have a second chance.

If you look me in the eyes, you will see deep inside the heart that beats in me, all my love for you."

Tul looked at me tenderly as tears ran down his cheeks, I couldn't help but give him a little kiss, he was so adorable... "so... um... you're saying that..." before he could finish speaking I continued with my confession "But I don't want us to turn into another used to be. I hope what I'm saying doesn't discourage you in any way" Tul's face instantly sank when he heard me say those words! it was like someone was dying, his bright smile instantly vanished "so... you..." Tul couldn't finish his sentence, I don't know why but I wanted to tease him, I giggled and ruffled his hair tenderly "let me finish" he looked at me sadly.

"Because I really think you're all I need. I hope you can really understand that I would hate to be with anyone else because you are the only one I want in my life! I am sure I will be the love that will last, I promise I will always have your back. Even though we both made mistakes, I know we'll be fine if we just stay together, so hold me tight and never leave me behind again, okay?"

Tul looked at me and held my hand before saying, "I'll never disappear again, I'll stay in your life until my last breath, I promise!"

"Good, because I love you and I won't tolerate losing you again"

"I love you too Maxi, I love you so much!"

*****

They both wipe their tears before hugging each other tightly. after some time Max looks at Tul grinning "can you confess again? you know I didn't understand what you said last time so..." Tul chuckles and kissed Max Tenderly... Max slowly returns Tul's kiss. That night, they exchange the most passionate kiss they've ever had in their lives.

Max and Tul ended up sleeping in Tul's bed that night, hugging each other.