Quarantined together | c.c & s.m

71

So in honor of Camila's birthday I decided posting a new chapter for every book today 🤩

And if you still haven't, check out my new book 'On Tour' right now!

trigger warning.

Camila's POV

Shit. That was the only thought going through my mind. Shawn was sitting in front of me, holding my hands and hoping for answers. When he said he needed to talk to me, I knew something was wrong... He is suspecting something... thats why I forced that spoon of yoghurt into my mouth. Just thinking of how many calories this has was making me anxious. "Mila... please....." He tried again. I stayed quiet. "If you're not going to say anything, I'm going to..." He started, still trying to get me to look at him. But I couldn't, knowing I would break if I did. "I know something is wrong...." He started calm. "And I know that you are not eating as you should... and you are worrying me." He now wasn't so calm... making me nervous. "Mila... I dont want you doing this to yourself... even Sofi noticed... she... heard you. Why are you doing this?" He was now desperate I could tell but I didn't budge, scared that my 'Secret' would come out. "Camila... look at me. Please." He was now more demanding, making me scared. He had also pushed his hands away and was balling them into fists. "If you dont talk to me now... I'm going to talk to your parents." He had never spoken to me like that. Out of fear, I slid back in bed, pushing me a little away from him. "Camila... This is serious. And as much as I love you, I need you to talk to me. Right now." I must admit I was scared of him in that moment and feeling so overwhelmed. I hadn't even noticed a tear until it dropped onto my hand. I sniffed and before Shawn could talk again, I stood up and rushed to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. This is too much right now. I leaned against the door, hoping he wouldn't try to open the door and quietly sobbed into my hand. Knowing we had a disagreement was one thing.... but knowing he was mad and disappointed at me.... was horrible. After a few minutes he didn't try to open the door and it was quiet outside... So I knew Shawn had left the room. My opportunity... and probably the last one if he is really going to talk to my parents. Well... easier said than done... I was sobbing and shaking by now, feeling incredibly anxious and overwhelmed... and scared. I was scared of my parents reaction... Do it camila. I breathed out and leaned down, my shaky hand coming up to my mouth while my other shaking hand held my hair back. I stuck my finger into my throat and when nothing came out at first... because I hadn't eaten much, I forced myself to throw up by choking, trying to.... vomit. Even though I didn't have anything in me, I still felt the need to feel something coming out of me. My throat was still sore but it was like... I couldn't stop myself. My tears were blurring my vision but I needed to get it over with. I pushed everything out... and it hurt so bad in my throat... it was only stomach acid... I was also crying harder now and really shaking... not feeling well at all. I forced myself to throw up a few times, before unsteadily getting up, quickly holding myself up on the sink so I wouldn't fall over. I made sure to wash my mouth quickly and right after that my vision got very blurry. I was also sure I was having an anxiety attack which caused me to sit down against the door, trying to steady my breathing, which I couldnt. I knew I needed my pills but I was to weak to stand up again to get them so I stayed seated on the floor, knees pulled up to my chest while I sobbed, feeling... lightheaded while my vision blurred.

"Camila!" I heard from outside the door, causing me to jolt up. "Camila, open the door right now." It was papa... and he didn't sound amused at all. Oh god. This was about to be some drama... I tried to stand up but fell back against the door, making a loud thud. "Camila? Are you alright?" It was Shawn now. "Y-Yeah!" I choked out, still with a shaky voice. "Let me in Camila." The use of my full name was strange... But I knew he was... angry? Disappointed? The thought of that made me let out another sob which I couldnt hold back. "Camila, let me in please..." Shawns voice now sounded desperate. I dont know why I always do this... shut myself out when I am feeling... unwell... when I know that I am needing someone.... maybe I should just let him in... let him help me for the moment. But what if... no... no. It's Shawn.... He loves me, right? Outside I could hear quiet arguing before it was quiet again. "Mila... please..." It was Shawn again, this time calmer and I also could tell he hand kneeled down to my level on the other side of the door. "Please... Mila, let me in. I swear I am not mad." He said calmly. Somehow the use of my nickname made me give in. I pushed myself away from the door again, still crying and sobbing and reaching with my shaky hand to the door lock to unlock the door. I opened it a bit And saw Shawns hand, gently opening the door into my direction, before another hand grabbed the door, pushing it open with more force. "N-no..." I whimpered, trying to close the door again. "Ale, let me." I heard Shawn softly speaking, pulling his hand away from the door as Shawn pushed himself inside, closing the door behind him. "Mila..." Was the first thing he said, as he leaned against the door next to me, looking at me. I still wasn't looking at him and had my face buried in my arms, sobbing and shaking. "God, Mila... calm down." He tried, placing his hands on my shoulder. But I flinched, shaking my head. This was not what I was needing right now. "Mila... don't do this... please..." He begged, moving so he was sitting in front of me. I stayed quiet, trying to calm my breathing. He noticed my hectic breathing and stood up. I could hear him fumbling through the drawer, probably searching for my pills. Then I heard him fill up a glass with water before he sat back down in front of me. "Here." HE said, making me look up. I reached towards the glass with a shaking hand but he quickly stopped, reaching the glass to my lips so I wouldn't spill it. He first popped the pill into my mouth and then helped me drink some water. I winced in pain because of my sore throat and that made Shawn slow down, pulling the glass away for a bit before letting see take another sip "This will help you feel better soon." HE whispered, placing the glass on the counter and sitting next to me again. I stayed... mute again. I didn't have anything to say...

"Let me hold you... please." He tried again. And I finally gave in, not able to shut myself off again and being all alone in this. I very weakly nodded my head and he immediately pulled me into his lap as I leaned my head back against his shoulder while he rubbed my stomach gently to calm me down.

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Ay Ay Ay