Quarantined together | c.c & s.m

16

Might include triggering content for some.

Oh and I posted the first chapter of my short story! check it out.

Camila's POV

The night where I had my really bad cramps was hard... hard for Shawn since I just wasn't able to sleep. That caused me to distance myself a bit from him yesterday. We hadn't talked much yesterday, he stayed in my recording room the whole day and only came down to eat with us. I stayed outside by the pool, meditating a lot and reading. I was upset with myself the whole day... upset that I had pushed him away this much. Today was no different. As soon as I woke up I got out of bed, got dressed and made some yoga outside by our small summer house. I sat on the front porch of it, putting in my AirPods and doing yoga until I got a message from Roger.

'Hello Camila, I hope you are doing well so far during this self isolation. So, its been a few days since we told you about the tour being cancelled and I think it's time for you to tell your fans today, please. I would be really grateful if you could write out a quick statement, telling them. We are coming closer to the begin of tour and closer and they still don't know that it won't be happening. Please put it out today. - Roger'

That made me close my eyes and gulp. I could hear faint music coming from my music room, Shawn. I wish I could talk to him about this but I knew he was a bit mad at me so I knew I had to do this by myself. I wrote a small paragraph for my fans, explaining the situation. I needed to put this out as soon as possible to I scanned it once again and posting it, closing my phone right after. I decided to continuing to do yoga for a little bit and just listening to music.

My phone was getting thousand of notifications which I actually didn't want to read. But... it was tempting, so I took it and saw that it were all comments on my new posts. My comment section opened, showing me thousand comments. My eyes fell onto a recent comment. 'We knew it, first taking our money and now the tour isn't even going to happen.' That's not true... I didn't know this would be happening. 'Woha... thank you a lot RatMila', 'I was ready to see you live on stage to see if you are really as bad as everyone says, but that just was confirmed.' , ' Rat'.  Tears had escaped my eyes and I was holing back a sob which was stuck in my throat. I knew everyone would be able to hear me, my parents in the living room, my sister in her room, which was turned to this side of out backyard and Shawn in the music room. So I stood up from the small porch and walked around it, standing right on our fence behind the small house. No houses were behind this fence and you could see a long field. I sat down, leaning my head agains our summer house, letting the tears fall freely from my eyes. It was quite chilly today so I had a sports leggings and a sweater on. I was sobbing hysterically, still looking at my comments section. They took it so bad... it isn't even my fault... I don't want to risk anything... I don't understand... why do they say it is my fault? I closed my eyes, sobbing even more. Not being able to talk to Shawn right now was really... tearing me apart. That was what was actually was causing me to break down. Shawn... I was distancing myself from him... and it was my fault, but really my fault. I didn't even dare to go up to him right now, knowing how upset he had been earlier. So I stayed here, behind the summer house, no one knowing I was here. This wear reminding me of my past... how would hide from him... Matt... how I would run away whenever he was mad at me because he w- but Shawn isn't Matt and I was really grateful for that. So I quickly erased those memories from my mind, not wanting to have an anxiety attack here.... without being able to take my meds.

Hours had passed. No one came searching but Shawn had texted me, worried, asking where I was. I just told him that I was safe and that he didn't need to worry. After that he hadn't texted me again. So I stayed behind the summer house until it got a bit cold. When it got slightly cold I stood back up, wiping away the tears and weakly walking into the summer house. It had two floors. Downstairs was a living room connected with a kitchen and on the second floor was a bedroom with a kingsized bed and a bathroom with a tub. Nothing too special but a place to get away for a bit. I had a few clothes up there because I had spend some time with my sister there the last time I was home. I walked upstairs, grabbing a pair of my sweats I had in the closet and a shirt. I put it on and sat on the bed, alone. I had turned the lights off, only leaving me in a dim light from the small lamp in the bedroom. Outside it was dark... and when I looked out of the windows, which were covered in white Curtains, I could see our house. I wondered if the were asking about me, if Shawn had told them about me distancing myself and if he had told them what I hd texted him earlier. I could see the lights in the kitchen and living room and Shawn walking around the kitchen, while everyone else was sitting at the table eating dinner. I sat back down on the bed, pulling the single blanket over my body and closing my eyes, hoping to fall asleep. But I couldn't. So I just laid awake in bed, thinking about today... about the things people had told me online... that I was a rat... I was stealing their money... I was betraying them, letting them down... everything. Causing me to have an anxiety attack, alone, without meds. I was breathing heavily in bed, my hair luckily in a bun. I sat up, hoping to calm my breath, which didn't work. So I laid in bed, having my anxiety attack, while Shawn was oblivious to what was happening. But then I heard the door open and someone walking upstairs. I was facing the door so I saw immediately who it was. Shawn, with a basket in his hand. When he saw me on the bed, he let the basket fall and ran to my side. "Mila! Hey... calm down..." he sat down on the floor next to me, putting his hand on my cheek, trying to calm me down. I had tears streaming down my face which I wasn't able to control. My chest was hurting and I was letting out ragged breaths. He understood immediately and sat me up in bed, putting both his hands on my shoulders. "Mila, copy my breathing.... please." I could tell he was nervous. I tried, I really did. But it wasn't helping. The only thing that would help were my meds. "m...m-eds..." I gasped out and he nodded, understanding me. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, dialing my moms number and explaining what was going on. A minute later, my mom entered the room, giving Shawn the orange bottle and a glass of water which he then gave to me. I swallowed the pill hoping to finally calm down. My mom left us alone after making sure that I was going to be okay and Shawn sat next to me in bed, pulling me onto his lap. I leaned back onto his chest with him caressing my sides, calming me a bit. He didn't ask questions just yet and I was thankful for. "T-thank... you" I whispered. "You're welcome, baby... I'm sorry..." he said softly. But I didn't have the energy to respond, the anxiety attack had worn me out, causing me to fall asleep on his chest.

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This took a turn very quickly.

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