Quarantined together | c.c & s.m

73

Camila's POV

 It was a day later... things between my family and I were... tense. Even between Shawn and I. Things still weren't really outspoken... and it was worrying me a little. I hadn't done anything else... I didnt dare to, knowing that it would have consequences if they found out. I was a little scared.... scared of papa but only because of the way he reacted when he wanted to pull open the door... Shawn had been by my side most of these two days but things we rend how they usually were.  mean, he hold me and all but... the usual energy between us just... wasn't there. I was scared he... doesn't like me like this anymore...

Right now I was sitting in bed on my phone, like these last days, while Shawn was working out. He worked out a lot more since finding out about my... eating habits... Maybe I should get ready... it would make me feel better... hopefully. I stood up and pulled out some kaki green pants along with a yellow strapless top. To maybe feel a little... prettier.... I put on my hoop earrings and the beads necklace Shawn got me. Then I decided on putting my AirPods in and maybe going outside for a little.... I hadn't been outside for a while now... I picked up my phone and let soft music play, walking into the garden without passing my parents or Shawn. I walked over to the summer house and walked back behind it, like I did last time, sitting down and leaning my back against the soft wood, staring at the grass on the other side of our fence. I was overwhelmed... again. I dont get why my emotions are so... unstable... but once again I was crying, leaning against our summerhouse on a beautiful sunny day. After bringing so many problems to my family.... I just dont know what to do to make them not worried... they seem to always be worried about me. I was quietly sobbing, clutching my knees against my chest to not make a sound. I just need some alone time right now. Knowing that everyone was kind of mad at me was too much to handle right now. I try to be as uncomplicated as possible.... but I always end up screwing everything up. I tried keeping my breath steady but I couldnt really.... so I ended up breathing heavy... but no tears came out this time... I was just heavily breathing and sobbing but my tears weren't falling. Stop this please... I begged myself. I just need some peace after these.... heavy days... 

"Mila?" It was his voice that snapped me out of my trance. It was Shawn, searching for me. I wasn't ready to tell him where I was just now... I need... my space. But Shawn seemed to already know my hiding spot, his head peeking at me from the side of the summer house. "Hey, Mila. Are you alright?" I quickly dried my sweaty hands on my pants before nodding at him. "Can I sit down next to you?" He asked carefully, sensing that I was somehow needing space but not really trusting my mental health... neither did I to be honest. I gave him a small nod, knowing that even though I wanted to be alone right now, I needed him. He sat down, a little bit of space between us, making me even more.... scared.  But not scared of him... just scared. "Mila... can we please talk? There is so much tension between us... and I dont like that at all..." He started. I knew we needed to talk. "Yeah... I dont like that either..." I admitted, looking at his hand that was resting on the grass between us. "First of all... I dont like the space we're keeping... can I- I..." "Please... please hold me." I almost begged and instantly he pulled my into him. I laid my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes to calm down. "Mila? Are you okay? Your heart is beating kinda fast..." he noticed. He was right, my heart was actually pounding but being with him calmed me again. "Yeah... I now am...I was kind of.... anxious earlier..." I admitted, knowing that lying was not right in a situation like this. He tugged my arms gently in order to keep me calm which worked, soon enough my head was against his chest as he touched my hair and kissed my head. 

"Should we maybe go on a walk? I think thunder is in need of one through the neighborhood... maybe it would just take our mind off things, before we talk later?" He suggested after some time of just sitting together. "Yeah... let's do that..." I agreed, standing up and pulling him up with me, tightly grasping his hand, scared he would let me go. He understood and gave my hand 3 squeezes. We walked into the house and just slipped on shoes. Shawn was still in his usual sports clothes, black nike shorts and a black tank top so he just slipped on his nike slippers in the matching color. I didnt even look, I just slipped on flip flops and grabbed a pair of black sun glasses that weren't even mine but whatever... in case paps were outside waiting. "Thunder! Ven aquí!" Shawn shouted, calling for Thunder. I love how he picked up on simple Spanish phrases like that. Thunder came running at the sound of Shawns voice, like always. Shawn put on his blue leash before we left. 

We had only been outside for a few minutes and paps were following us, taking tons of pictures. Shawn then quickly grabbed my hand, annoyed and picking up his speed, pushing me behind him. I could tell he was mad.... annoyed. So was I. When we stopped for a little so Thunder could do his business, Shawn and I turned our backs to the paps so they wouldn't photograph our faces... I'm sure we looked annoyed.... we were. "Maybe it's best if we walk back home." I said, gently tugging his hand. "Yeah.... come on.... this is really annoying me." He said, letting go of my hand and walking back down the street, I followed him. It was weird.... not holding his hand 24/7 .... but something I caused so now I have to accept it. 

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Ayoo 

I hope you remember the paps pictures.... they didnt look too happy that day so that's what inspired this... actually this whole thing with the bad eating habits. I've been planing this for a while, obviously.

And sorry for not updating... I actually didnt plan on updating today but people were really in need of a chapter so here it is. This is the most difficult book I'm writing because I have to keep up with the timeline and check the pictures and the dates in order to put in right information... so excuse the lack of updates.