Quarantined together | c.c & s.m

82

Camila

"Baby, calm down okay... we can always go home." Shawn reassured me on the drive to the venue for the demonstration. I was determined to go there, completely forgetting my health. I was so, so anxious and scared... sweaty and giddy but I knew if I wouldn't be there, people would think I dont care... "It's okay.." I tried to say in a confident voice. I leaned into him as he stroke my side, mama was driving with my aunt nine the passenger seat. We parked our car in a private garage so no one could see us arriving here and then took out our cardboards, walking out to the mass of people. "Hey here, put on these masks as well." Mama said, stopping us from starting to walk out. We nodded putting two masks on for a better protection and then we walked out. I had a small bag pack on my back with something to drink since it was incredibly warm. I had decided on letting my phone at home so I couldnt go on social media during the event. Shawn had brought his to keep us informed. 

"Okay so I would say we just get between the mass of people and walk with them, holding up our signs." My aunt suggested. "Yeah, let's go." We held up our signs and walked with the people, trying to stay unrecognized... but it apparently didnt work. I saw people secretly taking pictures and videos when we would pass them and I knew in that moment, there would be a huge shitstorm when I open social media tonight. It made me feel very anxious but I tried to brush it off, forgetting it for a moment and concentrating on this very important demonstration.

"Baby... can you carry the backpack?" I asked Shawn when we were doing a break after getting out of the burning sun. "Sure bebe, give it to me. And you should also drink something... you haven't drank anything today." He reminded me, getting a water bottle out of the backpack. "Thank you." I said, taking a few sips and then hading him the bottle so he could also drink. We then sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall. I was exhausted and it was extremely hot. How was Shawn holding up? I looked over at him and he was also sweaty but looked so hot... I just knew I looked like a... hot mess. My belly showing due to my cropped shirt and I was really sweaty with my hair all messed up.

"Should we continue for a bit longer" Shawn then asked. I nodded and stood up with him, fixing my face mask. "Is it okay if we get into a cafe and end this here? Me duelen mucho las piernas." My mom sight, rubbing her legs. She had knee problems so it was understandable that her legs were hurting after walking around for so many hours. "Sure mama, it's okay... Shawn will call you so we can meet up later, alright?" "Gracias you two... be safe, alright?" Mama pulled me in to kiss my forehead through the mask and then made her way to a nearby cafe with my aunt. "Okay baby... only a little more." I said, grabbing his hand and walking back towards the mass of people. 

Everything went well... until we got to a small street where people got squeezed together to walk through the street. I made sure to stay close to Shawn and he was always holding me somehow. We then passed a group of older people... who didnt look exactly...amused by seeing us. I heard one of them laughing as we passed by and just ignored what they were saying about us being here only for attention.Shawn didnt even give them any attention, just looking to the front and quickly passing them. I then though it was over when we were way ahead of them... until I suddenly felt a hand on my butt and another hand on my hip, pulling me back. I knew it wasn't Shawn because he was hooked with my right arm. "Hey...!" I screamed. I jumped at the rough contact, trying to break free from them but the hand was firmly fixed on my butt cheek. When Shawn noticed what was going on, he forcefully pulled me behind of him so they couldnt touch me anymore and hid me behind him. "Hey! Fuck off! What are you thinking?!" I rarely hear Shawn saying words like that... but right now seemed like the perfect opportunity. "Well... she shouldn't be dressed like that if she doesnt want to to be touched." The older man scuffed laughing. What the fuck did that man just say? I couldn't believe it. I was pretty shaken up now... clinging to Shawns arm, shaking slightly, listening to them arguing in the middle of the street. "You are fucking disgusting." Shawn spat, gripping my hand and making his way out of the mass of people without saying a word to me. Was he mad at me? Maybe I shouldn't have dressed like that... But why didnt he tell me he wasn't okay with me dressing like this? I was slightly crying, my nose running under my mask and tears dripping onto my mask. Fuck... that happened once back when I was in Fifth harmony and had to dress in those really short skirts... I was groped on my thigh and ass by one of the paparazzis but back then I just dealt with it, not telling anyone....I was in a dark place anyways. But what had just happened brought back those memories I tried to forget back then, making me cry a little harder. Everything was blurry for me. I didnt see where we were going or the people around us. Had people filmed that? Would it be online later? Was Shawn upset with me? I just want to go home... I heard Shawn faintly call my mom and in minutes we were back in the car. It was completely quiet and Shawn held me as I just... stayed crying quietly. My mom dropped off my aunt who quietly said goodbye and then we drove back home.

We had taken a quiet shower, Shawn still didnt say anything to me. He definitely was mad at me. But during the shower he was still very gentle and also afterwards, helping me get dressed and putting me into bed. He went back to the bathroom, leaving me in bed alone. I wrapped the blankets around me, leaning on my side and turning my head to the window. It wasn't too late but I just... couldnt do anything else today. When it was completely quiet in the room I started crying again. Why the hell did that happen? Was I really dressed inappropriate?  Did more people think of me like that? Like they could just touch me because.... because I had a bigger ass? Or my belly was showing? Or I dressed in cropped things? It's that what I am? A toy they can play with? Even back in Fifth harmony... thats what the management saw me as. I was the one who could wear cropped stuff and then had to shake my ass for the audience in short skirts and cropped shirts, almost bras. Thinking of it now, I feel so embarrassed. I cried. I cried until it wore me out and I fell asleep.

Shawn

I hadn't really talked too much since getting back. I was certain I would say mean stuff... not to Mila but because I was boiling with anger. I was standing in our bathroom in front of the mirror, my hands resting on the counter and me looking down at the sink defeated. Mila was already in bed after a warm shower but I just... I knew I wouldn't be able to rest with that on my mind. Why hadn't I watched out more? I saw that weird group... still, I didnt do anything. I guess I sometimes just forget how cruel people can be. And that incident was just another reminder of that. I washed my face with cold water before opening the door and walking into the bedroom where I could see Mila's curled up figure sleeping on the bed. She had her back turned to me and was wrapped into all the blankets. I let out a defeated sigh, knowing she probably must've been overthinking since I hadn't talked to her. It's just because...I feel like I failed my job of protecting her. I had told Sinu only a little of what happened and knew I needed to tell her exactly what happened so she at least knew what was going on. She was still awake since it wasn't too late yet so I would do it now. But first I walked over to Mila, kneeling down in front of her and brushing a few damp hairs out of her face. "I love you baby.... I am so, so fucking sorry I failed my job." I whispered, leaning in to kiss her lips and fore head. I stayed a little longer, watching her before walking downstairs into the kitchen to talk to Sinu.

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UGH... i hate that things like that do actually happen...

This book is coming to an end soon!

Oh an... Kesi remix!?!?!?! Like what? I LOVE IT!

And Camila next week oh my god! We're getting fed!