I'm not lost.

Chapter 4 Waiting room.

I don't know how long I've sat here.

My ass is numb.

I'm numb.

It's bit over midnight and the waiting room is almost empty.

I can't stay here anymore so I walk into the bathroom and check myself in the mirror I look like grunge mess.

my face is covered in red,purple and yellow I take some make up that I stole in the drug store in the hospital and I put powder over all the injured places making them look bit more human.

Did Andrew really do this to me?

There is something in my mind telling me that it would be impossible.

I walk out side I'm ready for what the world is going to give me now.

I walk out side and feel the fresh air brush trough my face and It clearly just rained because the ground is wet.

i start walking, I know where I'm going, I remember where we where staying before I was put in.

I hope he's still there I put earphones in my ears playing lithium by nirvana and walk straight forward.

•

I walk in the hotel room but it's empty.
No ones here to be found, i walk around the room looking for something just something to tell me about Andrew but I can't find any clue.

Usually when things got bad Andrew would leave clues that only I could understand so we could find each other again.

Not that these things happened often but it has happened before this.

I'm exhausted I'm going to take nap in this amazing bed before I leave.

I lay down and get comfy as in about to fall asleep I feel piece of paper touching my hand I pick it up and see its a note!

He did leave something for me than I knew he wouldn't let me down!

"If your reading this it means your lost. Meet me 25.01.15 at 13:00"

25.01.15 is the date he told me he first loved me.

it was amazing day we were down by the lake.

The lake!

Of course!

He wants me to meet him the tomorrow 1 pm I can't wait!

But first I have to get some sleep I must look pretty when I meet him tomorrow.

•

I wake up at 8 am.

I am so excited for today so I just start making myself ready for meeting Andrew.

I take one last look in the mirror before I go.

I'm looking fine and I walk out the door positive and happy about seeing Andrew again.

•

Busses make me calm, there is something about being around all that people that don't give a damn,
that makes me calm.

I'm finally at the lake, it's so beautiful. This time of year, the leaves are perfectly green and the grass smells fresh and the lake filled with ducks and pigeons.

The clock is currently 12:45. I put headphones in my ears and play Tom Odell's album, sucking on my last cigarette and go sit on the bench where we sat in January, when he told me that he loved me.

I can't get over it I'm finally meeting him again, I've missed him so much.

A fat woman with an English sheepdog runs past me. I always wanted a puppy as a kid, but my dad wouldn't let me.

My dad was a hysterical narcissist, but I was always his favorite kid,

so he could never handle me loving someone or something more than him, not even my own sister.

So I can swear when she killed herself two years ago my father was relieved because he knew I always loved her more than him.

But after she died things only got harder. My father then only had me and put all his love on me, and the super protection he had over me was crazy!

when I had friends over or my boyfriend Justin before he moved away.

He'd always beat me up after they left telling me they were not welcome here anymore and I should never bring somebody home again.

Then I met Andrew at the American dream.

He sat across the bar with his amazing dark, middle long, brown hair and eyes as blue as the ocean.

He walked to me and offered me a drink, telling me I was beautiful.
I think I can say I fell for Andrew the moment I met him.

It was true love, something I've never felt before, the only other persons I've loved was my sister and ex boyfriend
All the 18 years I've lived I've never felt anything as strong as my love to Andrew, he was special. He looked differently at the world than normal persons did, and he never acted silly like normal 20 yr old men did and didn't get as emotional about love as other had.

It wasn't long until I figured out he was psychopath, but I didn't care because he didn't care that I was diagnosed as bipolar disorder
We were the fucked up couple.
Totally in love with each other.
In our own fucked up way.

It's 13:30. Now he's late.

why is he late?
I've been too busy in my own thoughts that I forgot the clock.

WHERE IS HE?!?

Somebody grabs my shoulder as I turn around and throw a punch at the person as he immediately grabs my fist.

I look up and see his face! Smirking at me

"Sorry I'm late, you were just too peaceful for me to disturb you."