I'm not lost.

Chapter 19 -Summerhouse.

We arrive at the summerhouse after long drive where I mostly slept. This house is amazing. You can see the ocean! And it's surrounded by trees!
"You like it"
"I love it!"
I yell and jump into his arms.
He carries me inside the big summerhouse. I jump of him and start looking around its so beautiful. I could imagine living here. The bedroom is so cozy! And ahh just everything is so amazing. I start to strip down and change into cozy booty shorts and take of my bra god I hate that peace of clothing and into loose hippie see trough top. I get my sunglasses and walk outside.
Andrew comes and grabs my waist pulling me closer.
"The view is almost as beautiful as you."
And he kisses my neck. Holding me still into his arms I turn around And look him in the blue eyes. I let my eyes explore his body. He's only wearing shorts so his bear chest touches mine.

"God Ciara your so damn beautiful"
He says as he cups his hand over my boobs.
"And your all mine"
He smirks at me and leans down into deep kiss.
I pull away. My guilt is to much to handle this. I walk into the kitchen and I hide my face with my hands. What am I doing? I'm i really attracted to both brothers? How could I cheat on my husband with his twin brother? I'm a horrible human being!

"You okay?"
Andrews in the kitchen I'm so startled that I just stand still staring at him. Then I turn around facing the fridge. Pullin out someone ice cream.
"Ciara?"
"I'm fine"
"Why are you lying to me?"
"What do you mean?"
I pull out spoon and start eating the ice-cream out of the box by bothering to put it in bowl.he looks at me like I've just stabbed him in the heart.
"What do I mean? You've been depressed for days now? You Bearly are for 5 fucking days! You wouldn't let me talk to you or cuddle you up. Then leo comes and everything. Is okay for awhile then we come here on this amazing place. Which is basically everything you could ever dream of and still you act like this?"
"Act like what?"
"Like you-you lost interest in me.."
He looks at the floor.i can feel how hurt he is and I feel flush of guilt trough my body. I've been so busy worrying about me that i forgot about Andrew. I pull my top of which leaves me only wearing shorts and then pull his chin up with my finger.
He looks not startled.
"I love you Andrew! Don't ever question that!"
And i put my hands around my neck pulling myself up on the dinner table and kiss Andrew hard on the lips. Slowly going down his neck and chest. I hear him moan.
"I love you so fucking much"
I look up at him giving him a little smirk. I can see he's disappointed that I stopped.
"Prove it"
"Oh I will"
And he gives me big perverted look as i squeak like little girl and run away giggling.
"Oh you can run but you can't hide"
I run into our bedroom and hide under our sheets.
I hear Andrew walk in.
"Emm where could she be"
"Is see here"
And he opens the closet.
"Or is she here"
And he opens the bathroom.
And then he laughs .
"Or is she here ?"
And he pulls the sheets of me
"Surprise!"
I yell at him.
"What a good surprise"
And he lays beside me
"I love you so much Ciara"
I look at him. His perfectly tanned body and his abs and perfect blue eyes I sit up looking down on him enjoying my view.
"Hush less talking more playing!"
And I lean into kiss and he grabs me into his arms and lays me in the back taking full control. Everything is amazing right now. I'm with the one I love and he loves me and we're going to live happily ever after! I smile as I get the best orgasm I've had in months.
He smiles as he buries his head in my neck and I i cuddle up to him slowly falling asleep in his beautiful warm arms.
•
It's 5 am and I sneak out of bed. Andrew is snoring beside me and I give him little smile before I leave the room. This trip has gone well. I've successfully making Andrew feel special and loved. The fullt is eating me alive and the worst part is no crave more. I crave Leo's lips and his beautiful green eyes. I open the fridge staring at it then figuring out I wasn't hungry. I decide to enjoy the view and watch sunrise. This place is so peaceful and beautiful. I could imagine living here. I stare at the ocean. I've always liked the ocean, it's big and terrifying and holds so many secrets. I pull my blanket closer to me and light my cigaret. I've lost some weight. You could see it clearly now. My collar bones and rips were lot more visible then before. And my stomach was flat. Nobody has really noticed though. I had planned therapy session in two days. I wasn't a big fan of therapists. and I didn't like being told I was crazy.

Bella's baby is supposed to come in week or two. I'm really exited bella told me she was going to name her baby. Anastasia and call her Ana. I thought it was beautiful. She also had asked me if I would like to be Ana's godmother. That's a huge responsibility that I needed to think about. I wasn't sure if I could handle that. Mrs Albi still doesn't like me and after Leo's been back she's been locking her self in her room only coming out when she knows no ones out. I felt sorry for her. Sorry that all she ever wanted was children she could love to the fullest. Normal children. Then all three of her children end mentally sick. Life wasn't fair on mrs Albi..
Josh the other hand really didn't stay home much he took most shifts he could and came sometimes to sleep and take break for like two days. Nothing is like it was when I first moved in. I miss when things were normal and I could go out shopping with Bella and love my husband. I can't stop feeling shitty now. Everything I do fails. And my guilt is eating me alive. I'm a terrible human being and I hate myself. I don't deserve Andrew he's way to good for me..
-
"Ready to go home babe?"
"Yeah I guess"
"Have you packed all your stuff?"
"Yes Andrew"
"Okay then let's go"

"Oh Ciara we need to talk."
"Okay?"
Okay shit that sounds suspicious what's going on!?
"So I just offered this job. And it's really well payed and something i have dreamed about since I was a boy."
"Oh that's great!"
"Yeahh but if I take it I will have to go to Europe for two-three week and work"
"Wait what kind of job is it?"
"Well I need to find this person"
He shows me a picture of girl maybe around 15 really beautiful actually she got long brown hair and tanned body. Really beautiful girl.
"Who is she?"
"She's a daughter of a really wealthy man"
"And why is she lost?"
"She God kidnapped"
"Oh god poor girl."
"Yeah"
"What can you do about it?"
"Well I have few Talents"
And he grins at me.
"I don't understand?"
"The less you know the better"
"Are you serious right now?"
"Yes."
"So when are you leaving?"
"Well if I accept it I'll leave tomorrow."
"Are you going to accept it?"
"Well it's good money and I was thinking about it. And this man begged me to do it really so I think I should go but I don't feel good about leaving you behind after all that's been happening and you've been really depressed"
"No I'll be fine babe you should go!"
"You sure?"
"Yes!"
-
"Ciara we need to talk"
Bella looks at me really serious.
"What's up"
"Well I need to know if your going to be Ana's godmother or not.."
"I said I'll think about it"
"Well times up slut!"
"Well okay that's rude"
"Oh don't be sensitive.."
I smirk at her knowing I'll totally be Ana's godmother! Like of course I would but it was supposed to be surprise I was going to act like I didn't really want it then boom surprise!
"Ahh Bella you know I love you and all"
I say with pity in my voice
"Ahh I understand don't even fucking bother"
And she turns around heading toward the door
"But if love to be Ana's godmother !!!"
She turns around to face me her face filled with joy
"Really?!"
"Yes of course bitch!!"
"️️Hahah I love you so much you fucking slut!"
And she pulls me into a hug and I can feel her pregnant belly touch mine as she step backwards scanning my body.
"Is it just me or have you gotten skinnier?"
She says with weird suspiciousness in her voice
"It's just you."
"Your sure?"
"100%"
"Oh I must be getting fatter than hah"
I force a laugh not wanting I talk about my problems.
"But hey Bella I really need to go. Andrew is leaving tomorrow morning and I need to say goodbye if you know what I mean"
"eeeww!! I don't want to hear about my brother sex life!!"
"Hahaha that's what you get hoe!"
"Shit up and go give my brother a quick blowjob before he leaves!"
We're both laughing like idiots if somebody would walk I right now they would think we were crazy but really it's just weird humor we have.

I walk into our bedroom spotting Andrew curling into our sheets.he's sleeping like a baby. I jump into bed waking him up as he groans at me.
"Why did you do that?"
He says with sexy tired voice
"Well I just wanted to look into your beautiful blue eyes one last time before you left your wife unsatisfied at home. I giggle as he sits up looking down on me
"Are you teasing me Ciara Wilson?"
"Maybe I am. Who knows?"
"Well guess we are about to find out"
And he comes closer to me and kisses my cheek then my lips.
"I'm going to miss you so much"
"I'm going to miss you too babe"
I tugs me into his arms and falls asleep again as I feel sadness going trough my body. My husband is leaving me. He's going without me for whole two weeks! I'm going to miss him endlessly...

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I'm so sorry for shitty couple of chapters. Don't hate me...