I'm not lost.

Chapter 18-Shame on you

I open my eyes staring at the wall. I'm numb. I have no energy to move. I just tug me into the covers and close my eyes again. I hear Andrew walk in the room. He sits besides me and places his hand on my covers.
"Babe are you awake?"
"No."
"You need to eat"
"I'm not hungry."
"Babe you need to do something you can't just stay in bed all day!"
"I can and I will now leave!"
"No Ciara."
I stare at him. God he's annoying I turn my back at him and pull the covers over my head.
"Ciara come on"
"Leave me alone!"
"Ciara"
I can hear how hurt he is.
"Fine I'll leave."
And he walk out the room.

I stick my head out of the covers and grab the remote and turn on the tv. I've been binge watching these series named supernatural. I turn on my episode and get my self more comfy in the bed.

I hear someone opening the door and walk in. I don't show them any attention and just keep watching my show. I can feel the stare I'm getting.
"So it's true"
I look to the person talking who is leo what a surprise.
"What are you watching?"
I look at him unsure if I want to speak or not. But at least he's not forcing me to eat or anything.
"Supernatural"
And I turn my attention back to my show.
"Awh man love those series!"
And he sits besides me.
"Who's your favorite brother?"
"Sam."
"Mine is dean. He's seams getting it more with the ladies if you know what i mean."
I ignore his stupid ass and keep watching my show.
He's making him self comfortable in my bed. Going under my covers as I can feel his cold toes touching my legs.
"What do you want?"
"Nothing."
"Then leave."
"No. Like this show."
I grab the remote and turn of the TV.
"Why did you do that!?"
"Leave."
He gives me stubborn look.
"No."
"Please?"
"No Ciara im not fucking leaving!"
I sit up staring at him. Is he being fucking serious? He can't just come here invite him self under my covers and disturb my peace. I try to push him out of the bed.
"Leave me alone!"
He just laughs at me I'm getting mad why won't he just leave me the fuck alone? Why is he always talking to me coming to me? I lift me hand and hit him in the stomach and just start hitting him again and again feeling tears running down my cheeks.
"Leave me alone!"
He grabs my wrists as I attempt to hit him again.
"No"
He so calm I look him in the eyes and he stares into mine. And I collapse into his lap.
He free's my wrists and puts his hands around me.
"Let it all out"
I want to scream and beat the shit out of him. But I've been holding in tears so long time. I've been numb for so long now. I can't help but like the comfort I'm getting from him. He lifts me into arms.
He's holding my like infant baby. With his hand in my hair.
I place my arms around his neck. And cry some more. He just sits there stroking my back until I finally relax and get control of myself. I look at him what did I just do? Did I really lose my cool around leo? Oh man I'm screwed..
"I'm sorry"
"Don't be"
"I-I need to shower I smell."
"Okay cupcake."
I stand up its the first time I leave bed in days. It's weird using my feets they can't handle this sudden change and I fall to the ground. I feel Leo pull me up.
"Are you okay?"
"Y-yes"
"I'll help you to the bathroom"
And I just give him a nod knowing full well I can't walk there by my self. I can feel im GETING control over my feets again and I pull my self away from leo.
"You okay?"
"Y-Yes thank y-you."
"I'll wait for you here just call me if you need help with anything! Okay?"
"Okay."
Why is he being so nice to me? And why is he sticking around when Andrew couldn't even handle me? I undress out of my stinky pajamas,and brush trough my hair. I look like a mess my hair is mess I stink and my eyes are swollen after crying. I step into the shower and I can't describe how refreshing it is feeling the water on my body. I wash my hair and body and shave.
I step out of the shower and put towel over me. Figuring no forgot to take clothes with me on the bathroom so I have to go in my bedroom to get r where Leo's waiting for me. I open the door peaking if Leo's there and I can see Leo's staring outside the window and I tip toe to my dress room where I pick up clean thong and bra and ripped jeans and white crop top. I try to tip toe back to the bathroom. Holding all my clothes and towel up.
"I know you there"
I'm so startled that I drop everything and he turns around. I freeze as he stares at me. He scans my body. And then smirks. I look down when I figure out I've dropped my towel.
"Fuck"
And instantly bow down picking up my towel and clothes. I can hear Leo coming loser to me and I stand up.
"You're really sexy."
"Thanks I guess"
He stares at me with such desire that i feel uncomfortable and run into the bathroom.
"Fuck,fuck,fuck"
I whisper did leo just see me naked? Oh god that's embarrassing. I dress quickly. And let my hair loose And apply some make up on. I look like a corpse i have huge bags under my eyes and I'm really pale. I finish my make up and open the door and Leo's standing right beside it looking at me.
"I thought you died in there or something"
"No just making me look more alive."
And I walk past him. And he grabs my wrist pulling me back to face him.
"Don't act like a bitch to me Ciara"
"I'm not a bitch."
"I know."
And he smirks at me. Checking my body out.
"Bummer you put some clothes on."
"You can't tell anyone about what happened!"
"Oh why not you're really hot!"
"I'm starting to envy my brother. And that's not what I'm used to!"
What is he trying to say? That he likes me? Oh fuck. He stares into my eyes and then I rip the eye contact looking at the floor. He pulls my chin up making me look at him.
"Ciara I like you"
God he's appealing. He comes closer and closer with until his lips touch mine. My body stiffs and I can't move in so startled he pulls me closer and before I know I'm kissing him back. My back against the wall he lifts me up. I curl my legs around his waist and place my hands around his neck. Our kiss is super intense and sexy God he's sexy. He pulls my top off leaving me in my bra and starts kissingn my neck I moan I kisses my breast and then he looks at me and starts kissing me again. His tongue running wild in my mouth. And I pull his shirt off.
"Mhm "
I hear him moan and God in loving this. He walks me to the bed holding our kiss as he lays me to bed pulling my pants off and me doing the same to him. We are totally naked having super hot sex. Oh my god he's like sex God. And I lose all control over my body as he pulls away from me giving me little kiss then smiling at me.
"God your good!"
I smile at him he's so good looking his sharp jaw and his lovely green eyes.
"Now I know why Andrew is so addicted to you"
My eyes flew open
"Fuck!"
He looks at me
"What?"
"ANDREW!"
"What about him?"
"You can't never tell him!"
He smiles at me
"Sure it will be our little secret"
And he sits up dressing him self back In clothes and I do the same putting my hair in pony tail Because I have sex hair right now.
And we walk outside the bedroom. I give leo quick look before I walk straight into the kitchen. I haven't eaten in days and I could eat when horse. I start cutting fruits for my salad and I see Andrew walk in the kitchen and when he sees me his eyes stare at me surprised but really happy.
"Ciara?"
God I can feel the guilt go trough all my body.
"Yes."
"You're out of bed!!"
"I am"
He walks to me pulling me into hug.
"I can't believe Leo was able to pull you out of that bed!"
"What?"
And Leo walks in the kitchen of course he has to be everywhere Andrew is.
"How did you do it leo?"
Leo smirks at me as I return him deadly look he wouldn't dare to mention it.
"Ahh you know bored her with my company that she had no other choice but leave the bed."
Andrew laughs totally believing leo
"Thanks man"
And he pulls me into passionate kiss. I can feel Leo's eyes on us.
"I've missed you Ciara"
I give him strange look.
"You know I was just in the bedroom you could have come?"
He smiles. And pulls me back into his arms.
"I was thinking about going to the summer house just the two of us for the weekend."
"What?!" Leo stands surprised staring. At us.
I pull little away from Andrew I can feel the tension heat up.
"Yeah? Just the two of us."
"I think it's a good idea babe"
And I sneak a little kiss on Andrews lips.
He smiles at me.
"You should go pack then"
I stare at my im unfinished food
"No worries I'll prepare your food while you pack I smile at him.
"Okay I'll go pack then"
The guilt is eating me alive I can feel Andrew arguing with leo about something. I start loading a bag of clothes. Mostly shorts and crop tops and bikinis. I hear someone walk in. Knocking on the dressing room as I yell
"Come in!"
And Leo walks in.
"You can't go!"
"And why not?"
"Because you can't."
"Well that's not a good reason."
"Have you just forgot our awesome sex? I'm sure my brother can't please you like I did"
I stare at him. He had a point there is long time since I've enjoyed sex with Andrew. But he's my husband and I can't be cheating on him.
"That can't never happen again leo"
"Sure it can"
I look at him meeting his gaze
"No leo"
He walk closer to me and holds eye contact all the time
"You won't be able to say no"
And he leans down and kisses me I push him away.
"Stop leo!"
He looks at me hurt and bit angry. And grabs my waist hard and pulls me closer to him and puts his hand in my hair holding my head still while he kisses my lips.
"Stop leo"
"No"
"Not until you admit you want me"
"I don't"
"Liar!"
I place my hands around his neck and kiss him hard and he places his hands on my ass. And he pulls away.
"See you can't stay away from me"
I close my bag and put it on the floor.
"Leo I'm married to your brother you need to respect that! This can't happen again okay?"
And I walk out the dressing room into the kitchen leaving leo behind.
Andrew smiles at me.
"You ready?"
"Yes"
"Okay now eat!"
He giggles. I love when he giggles. What have I done. How could I ever cheat on him. I sit down by the table where he placed my food and start eating it like a pig. I've never been so hungry before.
"I'm going out the bag in the car babe"
"Okay"