Loving Her

Chapter 24

Amrah's POV

I got up from the bed and looked at the sleeping face of Hanan next to me. I couldn't help but think of how lucky they were to be sleeping so soundly. How I would wish I could be in their position right now sleeping so peacefully. Here I am in dreading the future that awaits me. As much as I wanted to have hope, I know that I was leaving behind every hope for a happy life the moment I step into Naseer's house as his wife.

I got up and went downstairs to grab some water and in the kitchen I saw maa in the kitchen sorting out some things. I walked forward and stood by the island as I watched her. She looked so unhappy and sad. I observed her face and I noticed that she has lost some weight these past few days. Looking at her face, I noticed just how similar she was with me. I don't exactly look like her when it comes to the face but everything else I have is hers. Even our mannerisms are similar the way she talks, her voice and how I have a hard time standing up for myself she's exactly like that, I have seen maa several times let things go which she needed to stand up for herself and I realized that is exactly how I am. Sometimes I hate that I inherited that trait.

"Amrah!" She called snapping me out of my trance. "What are you doing here? I thought you would be sleeping by now."

I sighed "I wasn't feeling sleepy." She smiled as she came to sit next to me.

She let out a deep sigh. "I don't even know what to say to you. Amrah. I just need you to know I did everything I could, everything but it just wasn't enough...You know I just don't understand why you're going through this? You're such a good girl, you don't deserve this. I'm so sorry for all the things you have had to go through and you still are going through."

I wiped the tear that fell down her eyes. "Please don't apologize to me maa, none of this is your fault. This is my destiny and I have accepted it as God's will."

She nodded. "Always know that I will always be here for you, no matter what it is you're going through, I will support you...or no matter what it is you can always count on me okay?"

I nodded as I felt a gush of emotions and suddenly I started crying. "I love you maa."

"I love you too darling." She said pulling me in for a hug.

"Amrah?"

"Uhm."

"You haven't talked about your dad in a long time. Don't you want to see him again?"

I kept quiet for a while before I sat up. "Of course I do mum, there's nothing more that I want. It's just that...I guess I am...I have made peace with the situation."

"I really wished he would have been present for your wedding at least."

"Me too."

"You know when we got married, it was amazing, he was a loving husband and a caring father, he loved you a lot more than anything but I just don't know what came over us. Everything just went south and before I knew everything had fallen apart. I guess we just weren't meant to be I just wish you didn't have to be at the receiving end of all of this."

*

I had finished praying before I went back to bed to get a few hours of sleep. I wanted to sleep but anytime I closed my eyes. Different scary thoughts clouded my brain. It was impossible to fall asleep. At around nine thirty, Hamida and her people came. She brought the dresses I would be wearing today and they were absolutely beautiful, I had already seen them during fittings and my jaw literarily dropped. If I didn't hate the man I was getting married to so much, I would have been super excited to wear it.

They started getting me ready. The plan was that I would wear the first dress for the pictures and the other dress later tonight.

The wedding fatiha will take place at one pm and the more time passed the more my heart race increased. By noon, my heart was literally in my mouth. I could barely sit nor stand. I felt like I was losing control of my body and my heart was about to come out of my chest. I was finding it very hard to breathe and suddenly my vision became hazy.