First Forever (GirlxGirl)

Pushing And Pulling

Anna's POV

I had absolutely no feeling after Eva left. I wasn't happy, sad, confused or angry I simply just wasn't. I fell asleep in my chair because I couldn't sleep in my bed without Eva.

I woke up to Amanda lightly shaking me.

"Morning Anna. You have to shower, clean your cut and start physiotherapy in an hour." she said. I groaned and motioned for her to go leave, I was not in a good mood. I got up and felt a headache pound into my temples. I stayed stagnant for a second to center myself and went to get ready. I showered, brushed my teeth and changed my clothes all by myself. I didn't need help I only allowed Eva to do it because she was so gentle and loving with me.

The physiotherapist came and he was surprised at how much I had improved. I climbed the staircase much quicker and it wasn't as painful. I pushed myself because I wanted to be rid of these crutches and start back school but I needed medical clearance to do so.

While having breakfast my phone rang, it was a FaceTime call from my mother. I hesitated before I accepted the call.

'Mommy!!'
'Hey my babygirl. How are you?'
'I'm fine, I'm doing so much better in therapy and I should be walking on my own later this week.'
'I'm so proud of you princess.'
'Thank you mommy.'
'How's Eva?' She asked and I zoned out.
'Uhm she's good. She had to go back home but she's good.'
'Okay. I called about your father, he's not doing too well sweetie.'
'What do you mean not doing too well?'
'He had swelling in the brain and fell into a coma. They're not sure if he would regain partial consciousness or go into a vegetative state. Babygirl listen to me, if he does become a vegetable we'd have to let him go.'

I looked at her while she spoke but I heard nothing after let him go. She finished I shook my head and she hung up. I was unable to process the severity of the information I had just received and I resumed my breakfast. A multitude of thoughts swirled in and out my head and it made it difficult for me to produce one logical thought. I was bombarded with confusion and anger because of said confusion. I needed to quiet my thoughts and I needed to do it immediately.

I rummaged through the cupboards looking for the perfect brain cooler.....ahh found it! I found one and a half bottles of vodka and a quarter bottle of Hennessy which was just fine. I took a glass and was heading to my room when Amanda stopped me.

"Fuck!" I whispered.

"Anna, you're not supposed to be drinking. You're on medication." she said.

"It's fine. I'm fine." I said and turned to walk away. She lightly grabbed my hand and spun me around. Her touch was very reminiscent of Eva's.

"Anna, I don't want to see you spiral out of control. I care about you, more than you know." she said. I hope she meant as a patient and nothing more because I had absolutely no feelings for her whatsoever.

"I'm great Amanda, no need to worry yourself with me. Just do what you're supposed to, nothing more nothing less." I said and released my hand out of her grip and continued to my room.

Eva's POV

After school I decided to drop back Anna's car against Katie's advice. She said that it was best to leave Anna and give her space and I would I just needed to return the vehicle. I got to her house and before I got out the car I took a couple deep breaths. I got out and before I could ring the bell Amanda opened the door.

"Hey Eva, she's in her room." she said.

"Okay, thank you." I replied and went to her room. I knocked and got no answer so I cautiously opened the door. There she was, in her chair watching Star Wars. She looked at me with the same blank eyes and back at the TV.

"Hey beautiful." she said.

"Hey Anna, I brought this back." I said and placed the keys on her nightstand.

"Did you get a car?" she asked, still not looking at me.

"No I did not." I responded.

"So then why'd you bring it back?" she asked.

"Because it isn't mine." I said. She didn't respond.

"Urgh I can't deal with this today, I hope to see you at school soon. Goodbye Anna." I said and as I was about to leave she spoke.

"Eva! I told you I don't want you depending on anyone for a ride to go anywhere, that's why the car is at your disposal." she said. The more she spoke the more I noticed how slurred her words were.

"But I'm still depending on you." I said. She quickly turned to me and frowned her eyebrows. She got up and walked over to me.

"But I'm not anyone Eva." she said and I heard a hint of sadness in her voice. I smelled alcohol and looked around and saw three bottles of alcohol by the her foot of her chair.

"Boon! Have you been drinking?" I asked as I tried my best to hide my anger.

"Not much. Nothing to worry about." she said and took two steps away from me.

"Anna, you don't have to do this. I'm here for you." I said.

"Bruh, no. You don't have to, don't worry about me. It's fine." she said

"So I should not worry about my girlfriend but you're allowed to worry about me." I said and raised my voice a bit.

"Yes Eva, that's my job. My love for you won't allow me to do anything less than that." she said. I stepped closer to her an cupped her face, I kissed her lips gently.

"Baby don't push me away, please." I pleaded. She picked up the key and gave it back to me.

"Use it until you get your own." she said.

"Why are you doing this to me Anna? If you want to break up with me just say that." I shouted. She looked at me, shook her head and returned to her chair.

"You know what! Fuck you Boon! I've been there for you as best as I can. I've tried to understand, God know I've tried but you insist on being a fucking brick wall. I can't keep doing this Anna as a matter of fact I won't. I've loved you to the best of my ability and all I get is silence. I don't even know if you love me!" I shouted. She slowly turned to me and her eyes were filled with water.

"Drive safe Eva." she said.