First Forever (GirlxGirl)

I Can't

Anna's POV

I walked over to my jeep and met Katie and Dev already there. I unlocked it and we all got it. 

"Anna, what is going on?" Katie asked.

"Have any of you ever told Eva she wasn't good enough for me?" I asked.

"Uhhh no, at least I haven't." Dev said in an instant.

"Neither have I. What the hell is going on?" Katie asked again.

"I don't even know but all I know is I'm not giving up on her." I said. I then made my way to drop Katie and Devyn to their respective homes. I contemplated stopping by Eva but I didn't want to stifle her so I went straight home. I got home, went directly to my room and plopped myself on my bed. I felt so useless, Eva obviously needed my help and I was like a fish out of water.

I couldn't just wait around for Eva to tell me how to help her, I had to seek information from elsewhere and the only person that came to mind was Taylor. I had to FaceTime her.

Taylor

T: Hey pretty, to what do I owe this surprise?

Me: Ayo, I need your help.

T: Anything for you.

Me: So how do you deal with someone that has anxiety? Or at least that's what I think it is.

T: Wow, heavy shit. Uhmm don't enable them.

Me: What do you mean?

T: Don't encourage them to avoid what triggers their anxiety but at the same time don't force them into any situation. It's a touchy thing that requires patience, like a lot of it.

Me: *sighs*

T: Most people give up when they realize how time consuming it is.

Me: I won't ever give up on her.

T: Her? So it's your girlfriend?

Me: Uhhhh yea, well my ex.

T: Ex?? Interesting. To be honest I'm surprised.

Me: Why?

T: Well when we were together and I tried to discuss my brother's anxiety issues with you, you were never interested. 

Me: Taylor, we were never together and well Eva's different you know. She's the love of my life.

T: Okay that's nice, well good luck pretty.

Me: Thanks for your advice, talk to you soon.

I hung up and stared at the ceiling as I replayed the conversation over and over. Don't enable and don't force, don't enable and don't force, don't enable and don't force. I felt my eyes get heavy and I dozed off.

I woke up disoriented and slightly confused. I sat up and looked at the time on the clock on the wall ahead of me, it was 8:36pm. I sat at the edge of the bed for a while then checked my phone and saw a message from Eva that was sent an hour ago, fuck!

Eva❤️😍

E: Boon, you there?

Me: Yes, what's up?

E: I need you.

Me: I'm coming.

I rushed to the shower then when I was finished, I threw on a yellow Nike Pullover Hoodie and matching fleece shorts and slipped on a pair of white Jordan NOLA slides. I stuffed clothes in my bookbag for school the next day just incase she wanted me to spend the night. I grabbed the keys to my mother's car because I wasn't sure if I her parents were home and I had to sneak into her room, they didn't know my mother's car. She drove a white Mercedes AMG GLE 63.

I rushed down the stairs, got in the car and drove off. 

Eva's POV

My parents were on some couples retreat in Miami which is why I called Anna over. I sat at the edge of the bed and flicked the middle finger of my left hand into the palm of my right hand repeatedly and waited for Boon. I got a message from her a half an hour later.

Boon❤️😍

B: I'm outside

Me: Come up

She came up soon after and as she entered, the room that was filled with doubt and question, suddenly had an answer. 

"Hey, how are you?" she said and she put her bookbag on the floor. She took off her slides and got on the bed from the other side, sat behind me and wrapped me in a hug from behind. I flinched at first but she didn't react like last time and held me. I eventually relaxed my body and allowed myself to be consumed by her. 

She held me for while longer then let go  took off her hoodie, laid back and opened her arms for me to lay on her which I did. I snuggled into her neck, arm across her stomach and my leg draped on hers. Force of habit, I began to kiss her neck multiple times but stopped abruptly when I remembered that technically we were no longer together. I heard her sigh but said nothing after.

"I'm tired but can't sleep. My mind won't stop long enough for me to fall asleep." I confessed.

"Does my presence help?" she asked.

"Unfortunately, yes." I answered. She sighed once more.

"Okay." she simply said. I wanted so badly to explain everything to her but I couldn't. What if she, just like the rest of them, realized I wasn't that worthy of a person? My ex always reminded me of how lucky I was to have someone like him and how much of a favor he did me by being in a relationship with me. Jessica was always there to reassure me that he was a fuckboy and it was he who didn't deserve me but was that even true? 

"Hey beautiful, relax." Anna said, interrupting my poisonous thoughts.

"I'm fine." I said.

"Your breathing sped up." she said. That happened and I didn't even notice it, I'm not sure if that was bad or good. She began to rub my back and kiss my forehead which helped my body relax and eventually shutdown. 

I felt movement on the bed and opened my eye. It looked like Anna tried to get off the bed without waking me, which failed.

"Morning, I'm sorry to wake you." she said and laid back down. I snuggled under her and the combination of her hand moving slowly up and down my back and the way she smelled I was turned on. I sat up and straddled her and she opened her eyes wide then frowned her eyebrows and tilted her head a bit. I leaned forward to her until our noses touched, she inhaled sharply and closed her eyes.

"Eva, Eva, Eva." she whispered then she placed her hands on my hips. I began to kiss her and she kissed back. I moved from her lips to her neck in an attempt to leave a mark on it. She moaned softly and began to caress my ass.

"Eva, Eva, Eva." she said and pulled me away from her neck. What the fuck was she doing?

"What Anna?!?" I said annoyed.

"I-..I can't. Don't get me wrong, I want to but I don't think we should." she said. I immediately got off of her and left the room to go downstairs. I aggressively opened the fridge to get milk, then into the cupboard for a bowl. I slammed the cupboard door so hard then I heard footsteps quickly coming down the stairs. I looked up and it lost definitely wasn't who I wanted to see while in that mood.