First Forever (GirlxGirl)

Disoriented

Anna's POV

I got home in time to shower, eat breakfast and head to school. The plan was to remain friends with Eva, even though she ripped my heart out of my chest, pulverized it then lit every particle on fire one by one.

I took a shower and went to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal.

"Morning Esther, I feel like I haven't seen you in forever." I said as I greeted her.

"Mawning Miss Anna. Yuh so busy with love yuh nah see mi but mi nah mind. Dah gyal ah keep yuh happy, so mi happy too." she said. (You're so busy being in love that you don't notice me but I don't mind. That girl keeps you happy so I'm happy too.)

"She does, well did." I said.

"Wah you ah chat bout?" she asked. (What are you talking about?)

"She broke up with me yesterday." I said.

"Wah you do?" she asked. (What did you do?)

"I'm still trying to figure that out actually. She said she wasn't good enough for me because everyone else thinks so. She wouldn't say who told her that or why and I'm confused to be honest." I explained.

"She nah accustomed to good treatment in relationship so she ah reject it. Subtly remind her she deserve de best and nah only from you." she said. I just nodded and finished my breakfast. I gave Esther a hug and left for school.

On my way I listened to Drake's Nothing Was The Same album very loudly. I drove into the school parking lot slowly and there she was, with our friends with that smile that I fell in love with. I got out, walked over to the group as I did every morning.

"Good Morning fuckers!" I shouted.

"Morning idiot, you're a sneaky bitch." Katie said.

"What the hell? What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Anna, we know you called your cousins to beat Brad at the party and change his grades." Sab said. I looked at Cooper immediately, who was already looking at his feet. I then looked at Eva who had her arms folded, yikes.

"Yeah and?" I said.

"And you lied to us!" Eva said.

"I did not lie, I just didn't tell y'all. There's a difference." I argued.

"Guys it's wasn't her alone, all of us agreed." Cooper intervened.

"Yeah we all wanted it to happen and it worked." Zack chimed in and Jean Victor agreed.

"So y'all kept this big secret from us?" Katie asked.

"Yes, we did." I said.

"Well why?" Eva asked.

"Well my car glass was shattered, I was punched, Cooper broke his collarbone and you were violated on numerous occasions. Then we got our hands tied by our oh so loving girlfriends so we couldn't even defend ourselves. Oh not to mention he sent a threat for me which you, my beautiful ex-girlfriend, refused to mention." I said calmly.

"What the fuck does that have to do with what you did?" she asked.

"It's not the what my wonderful friends, it's the why I did what I did which I just explained. Also I don't regret it and HOW it was done so whoever thinks I was wrong can sincerely go FUCK OFF!" I shouted and walked away.

Eva's POV

"EX GIRLFRIEND??!!??" Katie asked as she looked at me in shock. The bell rang and I hurried to class so I wouldn't have to answer any questions I didn't want to. I forgot Anna and I sat next to each other and she was already in her seat. I settled in my chair, took out my books and waited for Mr. Perkins to arrive.

I felt Anna hold my hand then I realized I was tapping my pencil on the desk repeatedly, which was not a good sign.

"Hey, I can move if you want." she whispered. Gosh this girl was truly heaven sent.

"Uhmm no I'm fine." I whispered in return.

"No you're not but okay." she whispered again. She kept her hand on mine until Mr. Perkins got to class.

Class began and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't concentrate on the lesson being taught, I just couldn't. I looked around the classroom and everyone else seemed so focused which frustrated me. In the process of trying to concentrate I zoned out completely and everything Jessica said popped out my memory and stuck to the whiteboard.

'Not good enough' was the title of the lesson, why was I not good enough? This began to transcend beyond my relationship with Anna and seeped into every aspect of my life. What do I really contribute to my friend group? Katie was the funny one, Sab was the loving one, Anna was the one that took care of everyone and even Devyn was the therapist then there was me, the insecure damaged one.

How long has Jessica viewed me as such a pathetic waste of space and why didn't she tell me anything. She was such a bi-

"Eva bub- uhmm I mean Eva!" Anna called and shook me gently.

"Yeah what? Wha- what's yea...what's wrong, up. What's up?" I answered as I tried to return to the present.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, no I'm fine. I'm great. See you at lunch." I said quickly and hurried out of class. The other classes before lunch were exactly like the first class where I couldn't focus on the lesson and my heart rate increased whenever I thought of that other thing.

At lunch I sat with the girls and in an attempt to not alarm them, I put my head on the table but I couldn't stop my leg from shaking. 

"Eva, you good?" Sab asked.

"Yeah, I'm just tired." I answered which wasn't a lie because I felt weary. I needed to leave but I had to suffer through another couple of classes before I could leave and go home. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and took it out.

Boon❤️😍
B: Stop shaking ur leg.

Me: R u stalking me?

B: Stop shaking ur leg. 

Me: Fine! Where r u?

Read at 12:30

That conversation distracted me a little but as the bell rang and I had to go back to class I began to worry. Just as I expected the last two classes were painful to say the least. I couldn't focus and at one point felt my chest close in which constricted my breathing. As soon as school finished I hurried to my car but to my surprise Anna was there, leaned against the front door.

"Hi Boon." I said.

"Hi beau- Eva. I'll drop the Katie and Dev home." she said. She didn't move and neither did I, we just looked at each other for a while. She stepped toward me and I flinched a little.

"Woah, what the hell? Eva are you afraid of me?" she asked and backed away.

"No no no God no. I'm just a little on edge." I admitted. She looked at me and looked down then when she looked back at me again this time, her eyes were filled with water.

"Eva I don't know what to do. I don't know why you're so tense, I don't know why you broke up with me and now you're afraid of me." she said and cautiously walked towards me then hugged me. "I love you Eva and it's my duty to be there for you whether you think you deserve it or not." she continued and kissed my head. 

She let go of me and wiped her eyes "drive safely" she said then walked away. That moment was the calmest moment I had for the day.

The last time I had to deal with this, I comforted myself and worked on it for myself. This time around it seemed the person that I tried to hide this shit from was the only person that could've helped me with it. The fucking irony.