Fixing Us || l.h

Chapter Forty-Four*

I woke up in the hospital again, groaning. My brothers face appeared over mine, his eyes wide. "Luke, get the nurse." He says, handing me a cup of water. "How do you feel?" He asks sitting back down in his chair. I shifted so I could look at him, feeling the wires and tubes tug. I sighed, turning back to face the ceiling.

"Dylan?" He asks. "I want to go home Blake." I mumble. "I think it'd be good if you took a week or two off." He says. "No. I don't want to do this anymore. I just want to go home and stay home." "That's just your fear speaking." He says, gripping my hand. I shake my head. "I've had a million little panic attacks everywhere I go. This one was the worst. I just want to go home." "How about you just come home for a month and we can catch up and just calm down and take a break?"

I shrug. The nurse comes in, asking me the required questions, then left. I didn't look at Luke, just stared at the ceiling. Blake takes him out of the room, probably explaining everything.

He comes back in alone, giving me a small smile. "Blake told me what you're gonna do. He said you also just wanted to stop touring." I sighed, looking at him. "I have too many problems to continue the tour." I mumble. "You don't have problems." He promises. I just rolled my eyes. "But I agree with him. I think it'd be good for you to calm down, with someone who knows how to handle situations like this in case it does happen again." He nods.

He grips my hand, causing me to look at him again. "You're going to be okay." He promises me, kissing my forehead before leaving the room. I blinked back tears, sniffling a little.

---

Blake pulled into his long driveway, both my brothers cars there. They came out of the house, engulfing me in hugs. "Hey." I smile. "We are going to have a fun month!" Luke grins. "Um, okay?" I laugh. Blake takes my suitcase into my room while Austin makes me something to eat. He places a cheese quesadilla in front of me. "Just like when you were younger." He smiles. "Thanks." I smile. Blake comes back downstairs, car keys in hand. "I need to run to the studio, but after that I'm all yours for the month." He announces before leaving.

"What's new with you guys?" I ask. They hadn't been at thanksgiving dinner so I haven't seen them in a long time. "We both found girlfriends." Luke smiles. "Names?" I ask. "Bella." Luke smiles. "Maggie." Austin nods. "Will I get to meet them?" "I don't see why not." Austin shrugs. "Finally. I was beginning to think you'd be old cat ladies." Luke scowled at me, Austin just laughed. "So did I." He said. I grinned, finishing off my quesadilla. "What about Blake?"

"That's for him to tell." Luke grins. I frowned, Blake has always told me everything. "Can you at least tell me why he was in France?" "Nope." Austin says, taking my plate. "This is worse than the year you had to babysit me." I pout. "He'll be back soon, don't worry." Luke says, ruffling my hair and going to the living room. I fix my hair, following him.

"How's his album coming?" I ask, sitting in the chair and relaxing. "Really well, he's almost done, so that's album number 3 out." "Wow. He moves fast, not One Direction fast, but still." I laugh. "He's right up there with One Direction." Austin nods. "But definitely not 5 Seconds of Summer." I laugh. "Why do they take so long to put out an album?" "They want things to be perfect." I shrug.

We sit around watching reruns of Grey's Anatomy, waiting for Blake to get back. "You guys are so boring." He comments as he walks inside. "What else are we supposed to do?" I ask, taking the slushy from him and drinking it. He frowns at me. "Go somewhere?" He shrugs, taking the drink back. "Like where?" "Dinner? A movie? Disneyland?" "That requires looking presentable." I frown. He shakes his head, taking a seat on the other chair.

"Oh!" I turn to him, getting excited. "Oh! What?" He asks. "2 questions! One, any girlfriends and two, why were you in France?" "Um." He coughs, his face turning red. I got up on my knees, leaning forward. "I, well, um." He coughs again, not looking at me.

Luke and Austin burst out laughing, looking at him struggling. "Spit it out Blake!" I shout, throwing a pillow at him. He dodges it, glaring at me. "For that, no." "He's dating Taylor." Austin laughs. I fell out of my chair, sitting up and looking at Blake. "WHAT THE FUCK?" I ask.

"Language Dylan!" He scolds. "Explain!" I shout. "We just kinda started hanging out after you left and did the duet, then we kinda started dating in secret." He says. "And neither of you thought you should tell me?" "You were stressing out half the time, the other half either sleeping, fighting with Luke, or performing." He shrugs. "Fucking hell Blake." I mumble. "For the love of god Dylan, you sound like a sailor." He glares at me.

"Nu-uh. You don't get to scold me. My brother and best friend kept one of the biggest secrets of the century from me. That's not acceptable." I cross my arms, sitting back down.

"So why were you in France?" "I was visiting her." He says sheepishly. "Aw." I coo. "This is weird, why am I aw-ing?" I make a face. "I don't approve of this." I frown. "This is too weird." "Too bad." "Don't steal Taylor from me." I warn him. "Wouldn't dream of it." He laughs.

"Alright, where are we going for dinner because I'm starving?" Luke butts in, looking between us. "Usual place?" Blake asks. I nod. "Put something nicer on." I tell Luke and Austin, heading up to my room. I put on a new dress, it was a simple black dress that was tight in the top and flared at the bottom. I put on my white converse, heading downstairs.

Blake's eyes bulge out at my arm, gripping it and looking at it. "When did you get this?" He asks. He turned it over slightly, examining the tattoo. "2 weeks ago maybe?" I say, putting my leather jacket on. "Don't get a sleeve." He frowns. "Yes dad." I say sarcastically.

We head out to his car, Luke looking at my tattoo. "I like it. It's cool." He says. Austin looks, agreeing. "You're the only one who doesn't like it." I tease Blake. "It's just weird thinking my little sister has more tattoos than the three of us combined." He says, motioning to my brothers. "I have four. It's not that many." I scoff. "You have the heart on your pinky, the rose on your arm, the date above it, what's your fourth?" "Infinity on my ring finger." I say, showing them. "Most of your tattoos are small, I'm happy about that." Blake comments.

"You're just bitter." Blake refused to get a tattoo, he was worse than Luke, my boyfriend, but both Austin and Lukas have tattoos, Lukas has one and Austin has two. "Whatever. Are you getting any more?" "Depends if I can talk Luke into getting the lyrics or not. If not then it's a maybe. I might get more on my arms, I don't know..." "What's the significance of the flowers?" "The roses are what were in the hospital the first time I tried to end it." I say quietly.

"Now they are there to, I guess cover some of the cuts at the top, I don't really know, I knew I wanted to do roses, and since I tried to cut myself to end it I thought I should do it over some cuts." I say, staring at the tattoo. Austin gives me a hug, letting me lean on his shoulder. Blake parks and we all get out.

We walk inside, getting seated immediately. They take our drink order, then we all figure out what we want to eat. They take our order and Blake turns to me. "How are you, uh, doing with all of that?" He asks cautiously. "Pretty good. I have days when I just want to go back and stuff, but everyone's great help with all of that." I nod. "Good. And you and Luke? I haven't really heard much from you after thanksgiving." "We're good. Busy but good." I nod.

"Are you going to expand?" Austin laughs. "We don't know shit about you guys!" He says. "Well, we had just gotten to Germany when I had the panic attack, but before that we had done a lot. I had actually just gotten in from LA, but um, we went to London. I finally went up in the London eye. He's helping me conquer these fears." "That's good. What else?" "Lots of just traveling on planes now since we are going from country to country."

"How are you doing on planes?" "Pretty good. I try to just sleep the entire time to calm my nerves and stuff." "No panic attacks on them?" "Well, besides the small one I had a few months ago before getting on one no." "Good." Our food comes and we dig in, not really talking.