Fixing Us || l.h

Chapter Fifteen**

Song 12 of the album is linked above^^

The last curl of my hair was finished, my heart leaping into my throat. I'm not ready, I needed more rehearsal time. "Break a leg, sweetie!" Becca tells me as she leaves, leaving me alone in my green room. I try to swallow the lump in my throat, my pulse racing. I try to take calming breaths but nothing is helping. I get up and start walking around, going over the songs I'm performing. Levitating to start and get everyone pumped up, then I'd go to the piano for I Believe You, then Back in My Arms followed by Ruin My Life and to finish up the show, Never Forget You. 

I could do this, the dancing doesn't have to be perfect, I didn't have dancers with me, it's okay. Luke peeks in through the door, smiling. "Ready?" He asks, walking in. I shake my head, my nerves coming out full force. "Hey, hey, deep breath. You are ready!" He assures me, walking over and pulling me in for a hug. Calum comes in after seeing us. "Nervous?" He asks. I nod, still trying to catch my breath.

"Hey, if you can do New Year's Eve, this will be a walk in the park!" Calum assures me, making me feel a little better. "Another deep breath," Luke says, making me realize I have been holding my breath. I let it out, taking in another deep breath and slowly letting it out. "Whenever you're ready, they're ready for you, I need to keep getting ready but good luck Dylan!" Calum says cheerfully and leaves the room.

He's right, this will be a cakewalk compared to New Year's Eve." Luke says with a laugh. I can do this. I give him one last hug, take another deep breath and we walk to the backstage waiting area. My band is already there, Brad is air drumming, and Aaron is twiddling his fingers like he is playing the piano but it looks like a few specific notes, Brandon is ready with his bass and Damian is ready with his guitar.

"Ready guys?" I ask, trying to ignore my racing heart. They nod, a little quiet themselves. I'm handed my mic and the lights dim, the screams getting louder. Brad goes to the back curtain and gets up on his drum set, starting a beat. Damian walks out, strumming a few chords of Levitating, Brandon, and Aaron come out on the other side of the stage.

Luke kisses my temple, smiling down at me. "You're going to do great." He whispers, knowing my mic was now on. "Thank you, I love you," I tell him, his smile growing. "I love you, now get out there!" He gives me a small push, and I slowly walk onto the stage, waving to the crowd and hearing the official beginning of Levitating. I start singing, my anxiety slowly dissipating when the crowd is singing along and dancing. At the end of the song I'm at the end of the walkway, taking in everyone in the arena. We decided that now was a good time for me to monologue while the piano was brought out for me during rehearsals.

"Wow, there's a lot of you out here." I laugh, and the crowd laughs as well. "I hope you all are ready for a fun night, my name is Dylan!" I shout, the crowd screaming. "Over here on Bass is Brandon!" He plays a few chords the crowd screaming again. "We've got Damian over here on guitar, and yes, they are twins." I laugh, listening to the mix of laughs and screams while he plays a few chords. "On piano, we've got the lovely Aaron," I announce, hearing him play the 'dun, dun, dun' from horror movies and laughing. "Lastly, on drums, we have Brad!" He plays a beat while I walk back to the piano, getting situated. 

"How about we slow it down real quick, this is I Believe You," I say, starting the song. It's just me playing as I sing, then you can hear Aaron come in with the keyboard, then bass and guitar slowly come in. Finally, you can hear Brad on drums in the second verse.

The song ends and they wheel the piano off, and I look out into the crowd from the main stage. "Did you know this is my very first tour?" Screams in response, making me smile. "I sure hope you're having fun, here is Back in My Arms!" Damian starts playing and I sing, my head bobbing to the beat. I dance out the lyrics, remembering the moves Ericka taught me. I'm grinning while performing, having fun. 

We go straight into Ruin My Life, seeing the crowd dancing and screaming the words, my heart soaring. I hold out the mic for them to scream the lyrics back at me, the smile growing. People knew the words to my songs. 

We go into Never Forget You, making me a little sad that my opening was already done. The way Aaron was able to remix this was incredible for tour knowing this would be fun to perform with more dancers on my own tour. As the song comes to an end, I come back to the main stage, Damian and Brandon stepping up next to me. "Thank you so much!" I take a bow, then turn to Damian, while everyone kept playing, and he bows, then Brandon bows, I point up to Aaron, who does a dramatic bow, then Brad holds up a drumstick, bowing. 

I go offstage while he keeps a beat going, followed by Damian, then Brandon, then Aaron, then the beat stops. I watch from the side as Brad goes to the right side of the stage, tossing out his drumstick, then goes to the left, tossing the other. I smile as I hear screams from the groups who got it, watching Brad run backstage.

I hand off my mic, the boys crowding around me. "We did it!" I squeal, jumping when arms wrap around me. "That was amazing!" Luke says, turning me around. Brad hands me water while I look at the videos Luke took, seeing a wide grin on my face the entire time. 

---

We make it through two weeks of shows before the hate begins. We have a few days off and we are back in LA to sleep in our own beds. I've barely left my room, between catching up on sleep and just not wanting to be around people. 

I scroll Twitter, trying to ignore the hate but the fans I follow were responding to a lot of it trying to stick up for me. I liked a few of them, one of the tweets catching my eye. One of my fans responded to a tweet that said my songs were bad and that if I was that depressed I should just kill myself. She said that my song I Believe You encouraged her to talk to her friends and family about a situation she had been in a few months ago and that without that song, she never would have done that. I message her after liking the tweet, telling her I was sorry she went through that but was glad my song helped her and to reach out at any time.

My door opens, and Luke and Ashton let themselves into my room. I am curled up in bed so Ashton sits on the end, Luke crawling in next to me. "You saw the tweets." It wasn't a question. Luke nods, pulling me into him. "You doing okay?" Ashton asks, giving my foot a squeeze. I shrug, not sure how I was doing.

"I'm thankful my fans are sticking up for me but I just wish it would all go away," I sigh, laying my head against Luke's chest. "So do we, do you want us to talk to the fans again? We're seeing a lot of it from them." Luke offers. "I don't want more drama, they'll just accuse you of fighting my battles for me." "But it's our fans, they should be better and not do that. We preach about mental health a lot, especially after last year, bullying goes hand in hand with it." Ashton says. "If you guys think it will help, I don't really care." I shrug.