Fixing Us || l.h

Chapter Seven**

Song 7 of the album is linked above^

I pace around my room waiting for Luke to get here. I bit my lip, stopping in the middle of my room. Calm down, it's just a talk. You'll be fine. I promise myself. The doorbell goes off and my stomach lurches to my throat, my hands shaking. I go downstairs and take a deep breath before I open the door. I look up at Luke, my heart fluttering. "Hi," I say, letting him in. "Hey, I'm glad you called." He says, walking in and waiting for me to close the door. I smile, leading him into the living room.

"Yeah, I just-" I pause, trying to figure out how to word this. I look up at him, struggling. "It's probably good for us to talk before this tour starts." He offers and I nod, letting out a breath. I sit down on the couch, watching him follow my lead. I face him, nervous again. "So, how have you been?" I ask, giving him a small smile. "I've been good, doing a lot to prepare for the tour." I nod in agreement. "What about you?" "Good, about the same, lots to do before the tour starts." God, this could not be more awkward.

We sit in silence for a few minutes, neither of us knowing what to say. "I guess, how do you want to do this?" He asks, glancing at me. "Like, the tour?" He nods. "I mean, we agreed to be friends, Luke." I point out. He nods, swallowing, his Adam's apple bobbing. "It doesn't really feel like you've tried to be my friend," I add, holding my breath. His shoulders slump while I watch him struggle with the right words to say.

"It's hard. I don't want my fans to attack you again. Especially after what happened last time." He starts, glancing over at me. I look down, not wanting to discuss that. "You seemed at such a good point, making music, then you got a boyfriend so I really backed off..." He drifts off again, letting out a sigh. "That's what started this whole thing though, you distancing yourself and making decisions without me about our relationship." I point out, looking up at him again. He stares at the floor, biting his lip. His eyes flit around, looking anywhere but me.

"We've got to figure out something before this tour otherwise it's going to be awful." I continue, playing with my fingers. I pick at my nails, getting nervous. I don't want to say the wrong thing. "I agree," Luke nods, finally looking at me. "I'm sorry for making decisions without you, I'll work on it." He promises me. "Thank you." I chew on the inside of my lip, taking a deep breath. "Maybe getting everything out in the open could be a good starting point. Start with the truth so we know where both of us are at." He offers, my heart thudding in my chest. I should have taken something before this. I pull my sleeves over my hands, trying to hide that they were shaking. "I can go first if you want?" Luke offers, making me look at him. He is staring at my hands, understanding that I was getting anxious.

"So, mental health-wise, I am better, I've been working with a therapist. Band-wise, we are getting along better once I was more open about things and coming to them when I had issues. I'm more open with my fans about things and I try to talk to them about stuff once I feel comfortable with it and we've been doing a lot online for mental health awareness after your incident." He pauses, taking a deep breath. "Um," He stalls, running a hand through his hair, "us-wise," He pauses again, pulling his hands down his face and swallowing hard.

"I still love you, so seeing you with Noah was really hard. If you don't feel the same way, I'll try to push those feelings down or we can figure something out. I, just- I wanted you to know that." He stutters out, staring at his shoes. It's quiet for a minute before I take a deep breath and begin.

"Mental health-wise, I still see my therapist every week, I talk about you with her a lot but she's mainly been working on my depression, anxiety, and ADHD with me. Music-wise, I've put a lot of my feelings into my songs, most aren't published that are super deep but a few are but most of them are about you." I pause, thinking and letting that set in. "Don't really have much of a fan update, I'm still pretty new. As for us," I pause again, my heart ready to leap out of my chest.

"I still love you, too. I think I was pushing it down when I was with Noah, breaking up with him didn't really affect me, unlike our breakup. That breakup just like opened up all my feelings for you because I couldn't hide them behind anything anymore. " I glance up at Luke who seemed to be smiling to himself.

We both let out long sighs, making us laugh. "Well, that was interesting," Luke says, looking at me, a small smile forming. I nod, letting out another sigh. "So, I guess, just start working on our friendship right now and see how that goes before the tour then maybe come back to a talk like this to see where we both are right before we go on tour?" He asks, looking to me for clarification. "That sounds like a good plan, the biggest thing I guess is just being upfront about everything between us, no pushing the other out, no making decisions without the other about us, that kind of thing?" He nods, looking around.

"Since you're here, do you want to have a movie night so you don't have to go back home to the party?" I ask, standing. He nods, following my lead. We go to the movie room and I pull the curtain back from my brother's movie collection. "What are you in the mood for?" I ask, glancing at him next to me, coming face to face with his arm. I didn't realize how close he was to me.

"Action?" He asks, looking around at the options. I nod, pointing out the action section. We settle on the first fast and furious movie, getting settled on the couch. We both are silent the entire movie, neither of us moving. He stands as the credits roll, stretching. "I think I'm going to head back, see if the party is winding down." "Sounds good." I follow him upstairs, both of us stopping at the front door. "I'll see you at our meeting tomorrow?" He asks, looking down at me. I nod, unlocking the front door. "Yeah, see you then." He waves and leaves and I close the door behind him, letting out a breath. This was going to be weird.