Fixing Us || l.h

Chapter Eighteen**

I pull the pillow over my head, groaning. Luke was humming a song and I already have a headache, the lack of sleep this week really hitting me today. I want to say something but I don't want to start our third fight just this week.

He starts obnoxiously singing and I groan again, sitting up. "Shut up!" I snap, Luke, whirling around. "What's up your ass?" He snaps back, making me roll my eyes. "I told you I had a headache yet you continue to make noise!" "I'm working on a song!" He's exasperated, running his hands through his hair. "Then work on it somewhere else!" "I have everything set up here! Why should I move?" He demands. I huff, standing. "Well if me feeling better isn't important to you then I'll just leave." I snap, walking toward the door. 

He grabs my arm, turning me around. "Leave me alone!" I snap, wrenching my arm from his grasp. "You don't need to fucking leave!" "Then stop being annoying!" We are in a shouting match now, and I'm sure most of the floor can hear us. "You keep complaining about how annoying I am, do you even care about my career?" He shouts back, staring me down. "You're putting words I never fucking said into my mouth, Luke! Stop it!" I run my hands through my hair, breathing hard.

"What the hell did I ever do to make you feel this way? You're acting like a brat! Stop expecting me to be perfect!" "I'm being a brat?" I stare up at him defiantly, "You're the one expecting everyone to just accept what you do without complaint! Newsflash, this isn't the Luke Show! Grow up!" I was crying again, fed up with all the crying and fighting I'd done this week.

"I need to grow up? You're the one who's crying over every little thing!" "Shut up! Just shut up, Luke!" He raises his hands to his face and I flinch instinctively, and his face immediately softens. I back up a few steps, crying even harder. I know he'd never hit me and I hate that my body reacted like he would. He isn't my ex. 

"Dylan, no- I-" He stutters, trying to take a step toward me but I continue backing up trying to breathe through my sobs before I start hyperventilating and having a panic attack. "Oh god." He mutters, backing up and running his hands through his hair. "Dylan, you know I'd never hit you." He tries to plead with me. 

I back against the wall, my hand covering my mouth trying to calm myself down. Nothing seemed to be working to help me. Ashton comes from the other room, anger radiating off him. "You hit her?" He demands, facing Luke. I start crying even harder, everything falling apart. Ashton turns to me walking over and pulling me into a hug. "He didn't hit me." I get out between sobs, Ashton rubbing my back. "I'm so sorry." Luke tries but Ashton steps in front of him. "You terrified her, Luke, give her some space." He snaps, Luke taking a step back.

Ashton leads me from the room and I can see a few people from the tour peeking out into the hall. I follow Ashton into his room, still sobbing and trying to catch my breath. He sits me down on the bed, helping me with breathing exercises to calm me down. I wipe my eyes, taking a shuddery breath. My head was pounding now, making me nauseous. I lay back, closing my eyes. 

"How about you get some sleep and we can talk about this when you wake up?" He offers, and I nod, crawling under the covers. I let out another shuddery breath, pulling the blankets up to my chin. I try not to focus on the fight Luke and I just had and try to sleep.

---

I wake up and my eyes are swollen from all the crying. My water bottle is on the side table and I take a long drink after sitting up. I can hear Ashton in the room next door, the connecting door ajar. I climb out of the bed and walk into the room, curling up on the couch with a blanket wrapped around me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Calum asks, sitting next to me. I shrug, glancing over at Ashton. "He knew I had a headache yet still continued to make noise, I told him to stop and it just seemed to escalate from there." I sigh, trying not to start crying again. "This is your third fight just this week, what's going on?" Michael asks, looking at me from the chair across from me. I shake my head, the threat of tears stronger now. "I love him a lot, I know couples go through ups and downs, I don't know." My voice cracks and I wipe the tear from my cheek. "He's my person, he's gotten me through so much, I don't know what to do," I whisper, letting out another sob.

"Hey, it's going to be okay, I promise," Calum says, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. I lay my head on his shoulder, trying to calm down again. "Maybe start by giving each other space to cool down then sit down and chat in a few days, see how you're feeling then?" He offers me. I nod, thinking about it. 

The door opens and Kiera walks in, smiling sadly over at me. "How are you doing, hun?" She asks, walking over. I shrug, wiping my cheeks. She had her arms full of shopping bags, Ashton snorting. "Did you buy the whole store? Jeez." Kiera snaps toward him, glaring. "How about we go get some ice cream, I think these two need to chat," Calum says, standing. Michael follows and I put down the blanket, following them from the room. We're waiting by the elevator when I realize my jacket is in the bedroom.

"I forgot my jacket, I'll be right back," I tell them, running down the hall. I let myself into the room I had taken a nap in, the door still ajar between the two. "Seriously Ashton?" Kiera hisses, "'Did you buy the whole store?'" She mocks him, her voice lowering a few octaves. "You know exactly what I had to buy!" She snaps. I grab my jacket heading back for the door. "How many times do I have to say I'm sorry the condom ripped!" Ashton sounds exasperated, but that statement made me freeze. Kiera is pregnant?

"Whatever." Her voice sounds closer and I realize she's heading for the room I'm in and I rush to the door, flinching when the door opens between rooms. Kiera's face falls when we make eye contact and I can tell she knows I heard everything.

"I won't tell, I promise," I assure her, Ashton coming up behind her. His face falls too, his shoulders slumping. "Are you planning on telling the band soon?" I ask, realizing that if she had to buy this much clothing, she had to be decently into the first trimester. Which means she could be showing soon. "We've been discussing it." He says quietly, letting out a sigh. "You know the guys will always support you, no matter what." He smiles softly, nodding. "How far along are you?" I ask, turning to Kiera. "Almost 12 weeks, I'll be showing any day now, I've been playing it off as a food baby, but I can only keep that up so long." She sighs, shrugging. "Well, know that I'll be there for you as much as I can," I promise her, smiling.