Fixing Us || l.h

Chapter One**

Song 1 on the album is linked above^

I put my notebook off to the side, falling back on my bed. My brain hurt. Blake knocks on my cracked door, bringing me a cookie. "How's the songwriting going?" He asks, glancing over at my notebook. "My brain hurts," I reply, glancing over at it. "How many songs have you written?" "Three today." His eyes widen as he stares down at me. He feels my forehead, shaking his head. "No fever, are you okay?" I laugh, shaking my head. "Boy fever is nothing to mess with, do you have a sore throat? Chills? Headache?" "Shut up. I've been dating him for two months." "And you're already writing songs about him." I don't say anything, not looking at him.

"They're about him, right?" He asks, sitting on my bed. "One technically isn't even a love song." I shrug. "That isn't answering my question." He cocks an eyebrow at me. "We'll get back to that, what do you think of this?" I ask, showing him I Believe You.

It's the sick to your stomach feeling with a smile on your face
It's the memory you ignore, but you can't erase
It's the text in the middle of the night you didn't ask for
It can help your career, but at what cost?
Are you holding back something that you're dying to say?

Me, too
Girl, I believe you
Are you losing your mind thinking what will it take
To make somebody listen to you?
Me, too

It's the room full of rumors and everybody starin'
Did they tell you you were asking for it by what you were wearin'?
It's the stains from your makeup and tears on your pillow
It's a piece of yourself that you let go
Do you wanna scream but just can't find the air?

Me, too
Girl, I believe you
Are you losing your mind thinking what will it take
To make somebody listen to you?
Me, too

They say step up and sit down
Shut up and back down
So what's up, yeah, what's up with that?
So we dress up, get felt up
Get shot down, don't speak up
Yeah, what's up, yeah, what's up with that?
Are you holding back something
That you've just been dying to say?

Me, too
Girl, I believe you
Do you know every battle that you've had to face
Is making you bulletproof?
Me, too

Me, too
Girl, I believe you
Do you know every battle that you've had to face
Is making you bulletproof?
Me, too
Girl, I believe you

Blake smiles, reading the lyrics. "Really good, I like that not all of your songs are love songs, this one and Princess really are going to speak to girls. Now, back to what we were discussing." I look up, taking a deep breath. "This is Over My Head." I flip a few pages, showing him.

It's over my head
I hate myself for caring this much
I've become an addict looking for a hit of your love
I'm a long way from sober and I don't wanna get over you
Like a bird needs a gun
I've never been so dependent, who am I turning into

I need a fix, my heart is outta control
And you pull it like a habit baby
I try to kick it, hold my breath, and let go
But the drugs too deep and it's in my bones

I was the one who could take it, leave it
Liked it better when I didn't need it
Drowning slow cause I crave disaster
Overdosing, I'm sinking faster
I'm in over my head, over my head, over my head
I don't understand it but I know
It's over my head, so over my head

Sing me if it's hell or tell me this is paradise
Wherever we are just hold me like I'm yours tonight
It's a long way from over and I'm forever hooked on you
Like thunder needs the rain
Shatter my defenses, who am I turning into
And I'm ashamed to say it but

I need a fix, my heart is outta control
And you pull it like a habit baby
I try to kick it, hold my breath, and let go
But the drugs too deep and it's in my bones

I was the one who could take it, leave it
Liked it better when I didn't need it
Drowning slow cause I crave disaster
Overdosing, I'm sinking faster
I'm in over my head, over my head, over my head
I don't understand it but I know
It's over my head, so over my head

Say that you crave me, will you fixate me
If I come unhinged, let you under my skin
Love me or kill me, your poison can heal me
The needle's in my veins, watch me fly, fly, fly

I need a fix, my heart is outta control
And you pull it like a habit baby
I try to kick it, hold my breath, and let go
But the drugs too deep and it's in my bones

I was the one who could take it, leave it
Liked it better when I didn't need it
Drowning slow cause I crave disaster
Overdosing, I'm sinking faster
I'm in over my head, over my head, over my head
I don't understand it but I know
It's over my head, so over my head

"This one you could maybe pull off for Noah but Dyl, if you're not fully committed to him, you need to end it instead of leading him on." He tells me giving me a look. "That's just it, I am committed until I'm writing music. I don't know if it's just easier for me to write breakup songs or what, and maybe I just need to be with Noah a little longer before I get inspiration, we haven't even said I love you yet, just give me time." He nods, letting out a sigh. "What about the third one." I don't say anything, knowing I'd get a lecture for it. He slowly takes my notebook, flipping. "If I Hated You?" He asks, already giving me a look. "Not that one!" I all but shriek, pulling the notebook back.

Blake waits, trying to see what my third song was. I flip to another one that isn't much better than If I Hated You but also isn't quite as deep. I show him, hearing him let out another sigh.  

I used to be so happy
But without here I feel so low
I watched you as you left but I can never seem to let you go
'Cause once upon a time you were my everything
It's clear to see that time hasn't changed a thing
It's very deep inside me but I feel there's something you should know

I'll never forget you
You'll always be by my side
From the day that I met you
I knew that I would love you 'til the day I die
And I will never want much more
And in my heart I will always be sure
I will never forget you
And you'll always be by my side 'til the day I die

'Til the day I die

Funny how we both end happy but everything seems alright, ooh
I wonder what will happen
If we went back and put up a fight
'Cause once upon a time you were my everything
It's clear to see that time hasn't changed a thing
So, just what do you think could ever take you off my mind

I'll never forget you
And you'll always be by my side
From the day that I met you
I knew that I would love you 'til the day I die
And I will never want much more
And in my heart I will always be sure
I will never forget you
And you'll always be by my side 'til the day I die

Doing it, loving it
Everything that we do
And all along, I knew I had something special with you
But sometimes you just gotta know that these things fall through
But I'm still tired and I can't hide my connection with you

Feeling it, loving it
Everything that we do
And all along, I knew I had something special with you
But sometimes you just gotta know that these things fall through
I can't hide my connection with you

I'll never forget you
And you'll always be by my side
From the day that I met you
I knew that I would love you 'til the day I die
And I will never want much more
And in my heart I will always be sure
That I will never forget you
And you'll always be by my side 'til the day I die

'Til the day I die, 'til the day I die, 'til the day I die
'Til the day I die, 'til the day I die, 'til the day I die

I'll never forget you (I will never, never, never, never, never, never)
I'll never forget you

'Til the day I die

"I'd wait to record this one." I nod, looking down. "Two is still a good number to record tomorrow though." I give him a small smile, barely looking up. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asks, crawling in beside me. "It comes in waves, you know? Like I was doing so good and then this week, everything just kind of hit again. It sucks. I thought I was finally over him and happy again, Noah does make me happy, but then everything with Luke just crashes down again like a tidal wave. It's been six months since they moved out. I've been with Noah for two months. How am I not over him yet?" "It's hard to get over people you love. They like to creep back up when you least expect it but that's okay. You just need to be honest with yourself about these feelings and based on your writing, it seems like you are which is good. The thing that worries me is how much love seems to be in these and I don't know how Noah would feel about that. He's trusting you with his feelings and his heart. You've been cheated on before, you know how much it hurts to lose someone to someone else. Noah could feel like he may be losing you back to Luke based on some of these. I haven't even read If I Hated You, but I'm sure it's about Luke and if you could just hate him, maybe this wouldn't hurt as much."

I look down, knowing that was exactly what that song was about. "Feelings suck," I mumble, laying my head on his shoulder. "Don't have to tell me that twice." Blake nods in agreement. "How about a break, we can go get ice cream, go for a drive, and just relax." He offers. "Sounds good." I smile, following him out of my room.