Fixing Us || l.h

Chapter Forty-Five*

"Why don't you want to go back? Dylan, this is your dream." Blake counters, trying to talk me into going back on tour. "Because I like just hanging out around the mansion. I don't have to fulfill any duties or worry about having a panic attack on stage." "But you haven't had a panic attack for a month." "But what if they start up again?" I say, getting nervous. He groans, running his hands through his hair.

"You're nervous, you need to calm down." He says, waiting until I calmed down. Which took a good 5 plus minutes. "You good?" He asks, glancing up at me from where he sat at the counter. I nod. "You will be fine on tour, and don't you miss it?" "I guess." I shrug. "And you need to keep practicing for your tour in a few months, you have like three months left right?" "Two." "Wow. So a month left of touring, a month off, then you're on your own tour." I nod.

"Then you really need to go back to touring. You need to get back in the swing of things." "But-" "no buts Dylan. I know you can do this." I sigh, sitting down beside him. "I know you're scared you're going to have another major panic attack but there's very little you can do to prepare yourself for them except listen to whoever is trying to calm you down. They have the upper hand and can get you to calm down but only if you listen." I nod silently. "They all want you back Dylan, especially Luke." I cracked a smile, remembering our phone conversation from a few days ago.

"Fine, I'll go back on tour." "Good. You won't regret it." He tells me. I give him a smile before going to my room to pack, letting him sort out my flight. I text Luke I'm coming back on the tour and he calls immediately. "Go to bed Luke, it's like 4 in the morning there." I scold, holding the phone between my shoulder and cheek. "We're at a radio station, calm down." "Oh." I laugh, putting some clothes in my suitcase. "But you're really coming back?"

"Yeah, Blake thought it'd be good for me and I do miss you guys. So I'm coming back for the last month." "Good. We're in Japan, so make sure he books the flight for Japan." "He is." I laugh. "When do you come in?" "Not till tomorrow if my flights today." "Damn. I want to see you." I could hear the frown in his voice. "You'll see me soon enough." "Good. I gotta go, we start the interview soon, I'll see you tomorrow?" "If my flights today yes." "Alright. Love you." "Love you too, Luke." I hang up, finishing my packing.

"Alright, so we can get you a flight to Japan in 3 hours so that means leaving now." Blake comes in, looking on his phone. "Sounds good. I'm all packed." "Great. Let's go!" He says, getting in his red convertible.

-

I let out a yawn, waiting for my luggage. A girl comes up, grinning. "You are Dylan Ryan, no?" "I am, what's your name?" I ask, smiling at her. "Kiki." "Hi there." She holds out a shirt and a sharpie, and I sign it. "Thank you!" She smiles. "Do you want a picture?" I ask and she frowns. I point to her phone and she nods. We take a selfie and I hear the buzzer for the baggage claim buzz and I stand up, bidding her goodbye. I grab my suitcase when I see it, putting on my sunglasses before stepping out of the airport.

I catch a cab, going to the hotel to drop off my things then catching another cab to the arena.

I walk in, security letting me through and I head to Luke's room first, entering to see the guys in their underwear. "Some things never change, do they?" I ask with a laugh and they all look over at me. "DYLAN!" Luke shouts, running over and picking me up in a hug. "Put pants on loser." I laugh, giving him a kiss before giving everyone else a hug. "I'm gonna go say hello to everyone, I want to see pants when I come back." I warn. They all nod and I leave the room, heading to my own dressing room in search of my band.

They weren't in my dressing room so I check the stage, seeing them working on a song with a different drummer. "DYLAN!" Damian shouts, noticing me first. They all run over, group hugging me. "Where's Brad?" I ask, glancing at the drummer. "He's getting more chemo now-a-days so he's staying in Colorado, so we got a new drummer until further notice." Aaron explains. "Oh, how'd your performing go?" "Pretty good. The people love you more though." "I doubt that,you guys are amazing." I smile.

"So Dylan, this is Jake, an old friend of ours." Zach introduces me, and we all chat about tonight a little. "Do you know any of my songs?" I ask Jake, sitting on an amp. "For this tour yes, if I ever have to fill in during your tour in a few months then we may have some issues." I laugh, nodding. "Alright, so, do you guys want to perform one last night or put me on stage again? It's up to you." "You can go, we only got permission this month for our covers so you came back at a great time." I laugh, standing up.

"Alright, I'll head to makeup after I say hello to One Direction and peak back in with 5SOS." "Are they still in their underwear?" "They were when I left them." "They will be when you get back." Zach laughs. "Probably." I nod before heading to One Direction's dressing room, finding them lounging around. "Your back!" Niall announces, jumping up to give me a hug. "Yeah. Hey guys!" I smile, hugging them all. "Are you performing tonight?" Harry asks. "Yeah, so I'll talk to you later, I need to get to makeup and hair, I kinda just got off a plane." I laugh before leaving the room.

I peak in on Luke and the boys, and they had pants on. "I'm impressed." I nod. "Luke made us." Michael frowns, focusing on his game. Luke smiled sheepishly. "I need to get to makeup, so I'll see you guys later." I say, giving Luke a quick kiss before leaving the room.

Everyone in makeup was excited to see me, fixing my hair up and curling it for once, then did my makeup. "What outfit?" "We're sticking with the first one tonight." I grin. I had 5 different outfits that I switched between, one that went with each song but I didn't have time for outfit changes so I switched every night.

"Alright, you're good to go!" Lou announced. "Thanks." I smile, poofing my hair a little before heading out. I could hear the arena filling up, the voices getting louder as I went by side stage, heading to my bands dressing room.

"Alright, I'm all set." I announce, eating some m&ms. They nod, Jake drumming on the couch, Damian and Zach messing with their guitars. Aaron was air playing the piano, his eyes closed. I realized I'd never seen them zone in before a show. My zone in was Luke calming me down and going over the songs in my head. I needed to find one before I went on my own tour without Luke. I needed to grow up a little and not depend on Luke for every little thing.

We are called to side-stage, and I'm handed my mic, and it felt weird in my hand, I wasn't used to it. I was told I could go out on stage and so I ran out, Want U Back starting. The screams were deafening, and after the song, I took a breather. "Hi guys! I'm back!" I announce, smiling to the crowd.

We went through the set list, not a single glitch. "I love you guys! Have a great night! Here's 5 Seconds of Summer!" I yell before exiting the stage. "Good luck." I tell Luke, giving him a peck before he went on. I handed my mic off, heading to the dressing room. I laid down on the couch, listening to Damian talk. "Dylan, you missed an epic concert last night." I turned to him, giving him my full attention.

"Niall was shredding it on the guitar and bent down and his pants split and no one realized before half the crowd was laughing and then Harry pointed it out, causing a huge spectacle and then it took Niall a good 5 minutes to change because his pants are so tight and he was so sweaty." I laughed, shaking my head. "Only Niall."

While they kept discussing what to do, I dozed in and out of consciousness, vaguely remembering going back to the hotel.