You're My Umbrella

Out of Control

The second Kaownah reminded of the man and all the bad things he had done before, he felt worst. Much worse than being ignored by Turbo for the whole week.

Every punch he threw at the man is just as much as he were angry to himself. As if he was punishing himself for all his past. 

'How much should I pay again? Ah...As long as I am still alive. I should never be forgiven.' He whispered.

The man under him was already a broken piece. No one could recognize his look after this. Kaownah was already at his limit and he seems to not be able to control himself. He inhaled deeply and let out a heavy wrathful sighed. He looked around and saw a huge rock next to his leg. As if he was spooked by an evil spirit, he grabbed the rock and almost want to throw it to man when someone caught his hands and the rock fell to the ground.

The person who stopped him made him reminiscing back to the day where he almost killed Type. He was shivering and burst into tears. But, unlike that day where everyone left him on the side road crying, frustrated and alone, this time the person who stopped him was still there holding him tightly.

The kind of hold that isn't just to stop him from doing something even worst, but the hold that feels warm, a hold which really means actual care. He cried on the person's arm. Because he knew whose arm that slim and small arms belong to. The same man who offered him an umbrella before when he was breaking in the rain.

'Why?' He wanted to ask but the word stops only in his mind.

The victim was brought to the hospital and Kaownah ended up in the police station. He was scared but fortunately, this time he wasn't alone. The person next to him still calmly sit there next to him and encourage him to answer every question he was asked.

Though that person didn't show any expression, he knew that person is worried. Worried of him. Even though his action had helped the police to catch the human trafficker, but he was still being fined for acting out of control by himself and has injured someone so badly which not really a problem for him to pay some money.

----

They were back at the dorm and both sat on their own bed.

"Does it hurt?" Turbo asked out of nowhere after being silent for a long time.

Kaownah slowly looked up at Turbo and blinked. Silently asking what he meant by 'hurt'.

"Your hand. Doesn't it hurt after punching someone like that?" Turbo continued when he got no reply.

"Oh. It's not that hurt." He replied quietly. But obviously, Turbo didn't buy that. He deliberately hit Kaownah's hand, though it was softly.

"Ahh...." Kaownah winced.

"If it's hurt just say that it hurt. If you are scared just tell that you are scared. If you can't handle it don't hold it in on your own. You have me here." Turbo said as he took out the emergency kit and started treating Kaownah's wound.

Kaownah winced every time the wet cotton touched his wounds.

"But...don't you say that I should stop following you around?" Kaownah spoke slowly. His head was down all the time, not wanting to make any eye contact with Turbo.

"I...I--.." Turbo stuttered. He knew half of it was his fault too.

"I'm sorry. I don't expect that you might face something like that. And I never could expect that you would lose your mind like that." Turbo said. He sighed out.

"It's not your fault. I want to get rid of this habit too." Kaownah said as Turbo finished the last wound.

"Habit?" He asked.

"I...stick to someone I treasure like a gum. I'm too addicted to people. Mostly, when someone pays too much attention to me. I'm afraid... that you might also leave. What you said is right, I should stop following you. So I can stop before it's too late." Kaownah confessed.

"Phi Kaow..." He looked up at Turbo as his name was called by the small boy.

"People come and go. We can't hold them back. If they left, they are meant to leave and those who stay are meant to stay." Turbo continued.

"How about you?" Kaownah bluntly asked but Turbo was silent. He didn't know the answer too.

"Can't you be the person who stays?" He asked another question.

Turbo let out a small sighed as he packed up the emergency kit. When he has done, he halted for a while and looked up at Kaownah.

"As much as I want to stay...I don't know what the future holds. I don't want to disappoint you as well." He replied and stood up to go back to his bed but Kaownah stopped him by holding on his wrist and yanked him back to Kaownah's bed. 

Turbo fell on top of Kaownah.

Their eyes met and the moment freeze.

"I'm sorry I'm an addict," Kaownah said as he moved forward and gave an unexpected kiss on Turbo's lips leaving him surprised and speechless.

The kiss was short but enough to send chills down on Turbo's spine. Turbo gasped for air. He looked up at Kaownah who was still looking at him so tenderly. Trying to convince his feeling to Turbo through eyes. Turbo immediately shook his head and went straight to his bed and wrapped himself inside the blanket. Hiding.

Kaownah was acting out of his control again. He expected that to happen. He didn't expect anything more or any less. It was just right how he predicted. He knew, obviously, there's no way for Turbo to reciprocate his feeling straight away. He is aware of it yet he still went for it.

He didn't want the feeling to remain secret as to how he did before. If he has to lose a friend, maybe, 

'that person is just meant to leave.'

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[a/n]

uhm... have a nice day. <3