Sweet Dreaming | ✔

thirty four

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JAKE HOLT

I had made my mind up for myself but confiding in my mother was also just as important to me, she knew dad the best out of anyone and her opinion mattered to me. Explaining to her how I felt and what I wanted to do was a struggle, it was like I had gone behind her back and made this decision myself.

But my mom isn't annoyed at me, she hugged me then cried. Her eyes were slumped like she hadn't slept a wink, her skin paler than usual and I could tell she was trying to keep it together for the sake of Aria and I.

She pulls back and holds my face between her hands, her eyes shining with fresh tears. "Jake, I want you to do whatever will make you feel you again." She nods towards me before pursing her lips.

"But what about dad?"

Raising her hand to wipe away her tears, leaning forward to press a kiss to my forehead. "Dad would have wanted the same." She says as she grips onto my hands tightly. "We both know he was stubborn as shit but he would have hated knowing that you were miserable and there was something you could do about it."

My lips part as I listen to her speak, my heart feeling some warmth.

"You and Aria are all I've got left and I will do anything to make you guys the happiest you can be, I can't lose you too." Her voice is caught in her throat, lips trembling at the thought. "I can't."

Wrapping my arms around her as she cries into my neck. "You're not going to lose us too mom, I promise." I mumble into her curly hair.

"I just want you to be happy, I don't care about anything else." She says quietly into my t-shirt, her chest pressing against mine as she attempts to breathe.

"I love you mom," I whisper to her.

Her body crumbles in my arms, a stream of tears escaping her eyes and falling onto the fabric of my t-shirt. "I love you so much Jake," she looks up to me, her cheeks stained with wetness. "Never forget that."

Whilst I looked in her eyes, her whole world looked broken, for the first time they didn't look vibrant and full. She looked lost and defeated, that feeling of losing a mate. I felt like I could relate on the smallest scale, having lived with my wolf missing his mate for the whole of my life. That dull ache that never goes away, the constant headaches that drive you insane, the lack of available emotions.

Thinking about how crushing it would have been if I knew my mate before they passed, connecting on an emotional level must cause so much pain when they are no longer with us.

. . .

Knocking onto Myla's door softly, waiting for her to invite me in. As her little voice rings through the walls I push down on the handle and swing the door open. She was laying on her front on her bed, head leaning on her fists, feet kicking up in the air.

Her dark blue eyes glance up at me, a strand of red hair falling past her cheek, a book in front of her against the white bed sheets. She smiles, the corners of her lips twitching up into a breath-taking expression. Her delicate hand pushes away her hair and watches me carefully.

"Hey," she beams up at me. "You okay?"

I hum and nod towards her, not being able to take my eyes away from her beauty. "I'm going," I breathe out.

Her eyebrow creases in confusion, shutting the book in front of her. "Going where?" She asks.

"To see the elders, to have my wolf removed."