HIM 🖤 (a Remington Leith fan fiction)

The next day

(Possible TW- down grading self/anxiety/thoughts of death)

I woke up. His arms around me. I was still in the same outfit. What the actual fuck.
No please. We were both tired this was nothing. I'm sure he'd be on his way once he got up. I raise up and gently move his arm from around me. Such a bad boy. NO BELLA! SNAP OUT OF IT. YOU HATE HIM. Remember those bad things? You're not pretty enough. You're ugly. Please.

I was staring in my mirror lost in negative thoughts. I was so numb I wasn't phased by the tears that started racing down my face. My cheeks were cold. Roses blush on my pale skin. I fucking hate this life. Unknowingly, I punched the reflection in front of me. My mascara and eyeliner running, I was flooding the bathroom with tears. The tall boy who was a familiar stranger in my bed shot up. I couldn't bare myself.

The neighbors were making meth again. I was allergic to the smoke smells. Maybe if I sniffed all of it I'd get a bad enough headache and pass out. You're better than this. Why did this always hit me at the most inconvenient times.

The boy found me, with pills I was going to swallow, and me huddled up in a corner rocking back and forth. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and bent down to me. He took the back of his hand and rubbed my tears. I grabbed his wrist and threw it down. "No! Remington stop." He took a deep sigh. "Bella, do you remember?" I paused my tears.

My heart sank. He helped me up and walked me to my bed. He grabbed my cold hands and placed them in his. So soft and warm. The sexual thoughts going through me. Bella please stop. I twitched. "Barley." I looked down in disappointment. He seemed upset that he'd have to explain everything to me, again.

"R-Remember when, back about 5 years ago, neither of us were in a good spot with our families? And you come to our hang out spot. You helped me. But after we graduated, you never texted me, I needed you the most. You were my rock. I was mean to you, because of my insecurities. Bella look, what I'm trying to say is, I don't wanna see you like this. Remember we went to our spot, we wanted to die? We hated each other, but we had a connection. We did harmful things to our bodies and decided to jump from a bridge? But We didn't. You didn't let my stupidity and demons get the best of me. You knew it would be too much."

I looked at him. I had no idea what this had to do with anything. "Yeah, but why bring it up?" I sighed and plopped my upper half of my body onto the bed.

"Well, I don't know, I had a dream, a flashback dream you could call it, to that night. And I feel like we were put back together for a reason. You know, Emerson, remember him? He ask about you all the time. What can I tell him? Nothing. But now we're back here." This was all too confusing. I felt like slamming my head.

"Remington, I- and what if we're meant to be back as friends? What do we do? Argue and argue again till our lungs give out? That's why I never messaged you." I looked at his lips, they were irresistible, I started stuttering. He sighed. I got up and slumped against a wall. This apartment was too little, and gross.

"Remington, look at me! Seriously! I'm gross, you don't need me. You need a perfect girl. You need someone who can help you. You need someone who understan-" he cut me off.
"BELLA! I DO! He was shouting. "OKAY! THEN WHY BE HERE WITH ME?"

He looked at me. He walked over by the door. He wanted to leave. "Please, go ahead, I wouldn't want you caught by her." He glimpsed at the broken mirror in the bathroom. He counted silently and let out a sigh. He bent down to me and put two fingers under my chin so I had no choice but to look at him. "Bella, it's you. You're my everything. Please. I hate seeing you like this. I think it's my turn to help you."