Troubled [h.s.]

7

"I was sleeping." I know I am buried in shit. He fucking saw through me. He knew I was eavesdropping. God fucking damn it Harry.

"Bullshit." Harry loudly marks. His tone is rather playful than angry or mad and I am dearly grateful.

"Why bull's shit? Why not, chicken shit or turtle shit?" I ask as I giggle. I am in no mood for any advice nor any criticism. Harry starts giggling as well and throws his back onto the mattress with laughter.

"So from now on. No bullshit, turtleshit. Okay?" He asks with a cheeky grin, his dimples showing. His hair is messed up, sitting on his head, his shirt wrinkled and his eyes slightly red.

"Okay." I giggle and sit next to him on the bed, throwing myself back like him.

"Maybe turtleshit will be our always." Harry says and we both start laughing like crazy. I don't think its tequila anymore thats making us act like this. Its being with each other that makes us loose reality and be ourselves only. I don't think I had met anyone like him before that made me feel like this.

"Harry?" I ask when both of us stop laughing and stare at the ceiling in silence. I know we are both over thinking everything.

"Yes." he answers. His voice is husky again, showing he is getting sleepy.

"Tell me the girl you fell in love with?" I ask and turn to look at him. His chest slowly moves up and down as he takes a breathe before answering.

"Her name was Jesse." he starts and gulps as washing his memories away. He furrows his eyebrows again. I know his heart still aches for her and I know, he still sees her in everywhere and everything.

"She had this long brown hair, reaching down her waist. It was perfectly straight even when she did nothing to it. Her eyes were the same color as earth it self. A rich brown with a black rim around them. Her complexion was perfect, her skin light up with the sun and tanned with rain. I saw earth in her eyes and oceans in her soul. Her mouth was a gateway to heaven itself. Every time I kissed her it was a different master piece. She was intellectual and captivating and mysterious. You believed everything that came out of her mouth when she looked at you with those eyes even if she told you the sun was flat. She always knew what to say and it scared me at times. I was always nervous but she knew which buttons to hit or what to say and when to say it. She was fearless. Everyone needs to fear something. A god, the universe, dogs or sharks. Anything. She never did. She held your hand and you knew everything was going to be okay. Jesse was a piece of art. Not everyone got her but if you did, you were gone for good. I fell in love with her after our first coffee together. She was walking down the street and I was rushing home on a rainy Saturday in New York. She had a coffee in her hand and I knocked it over when passing by her. She looked up at me and I forget why I was rushing or where I was going. I took her to the nearest coffee shop and bought her a latte. We talked for less than an hour and she walked out of that coffee shop with my heart in her hands." Harry looks away in agony. Jesse is everything I am not but there also many similarities. On one hand she is pretty and captivating unlike me. I envy her for having such power on people. One the other, we are both heartless assholes.

Fucking Jesse.

I don't ask anymore question or wait for a further explanation. Harry continues anyway.

"We started seeing each other around town. She met my friends and I met hers. She took me to parties, kissed my lips and held my hand. She became my girlfriend. She screamed she loved me every time I fucked her. She spent nights laying her head over my heart, whispering her love. The love she 'felt' for me was far different from mine." He exhales again as if everything is getting too heavy to tell. I don't want to imagine Harry being with anyone else. The idea kinda suffocated my throat and I hate it.