Troubled [h.s.]

91

I woke up before Harry. Its two minutes until my alarm when I open my eyes. In our half an hour worth of nap time, I shifted so I on the other side of the bed, holding onto him not to fall and knock my head over the bed side counter where both of our phones sit.

I intend to wake him up before the alarm with my kisses but just when I start to lean into his face, his phone starts buzzing.

I slowly turn to see the caller. It reads Allison. What?! The Allison I know?! The one who has another boyfriend now but got knocked up with Harry's kid and got an abortion?! That Alli?!

I look at Harry and he is sound asleep, not even acknowledge my movements nor the phone.

It can't possibly be Allison. He said he didn't love her anymore. We had a fight over her and he swore that he wanted the child from her, not being with her. I believed him. I still do.

But now, Allison calls again. They can't possibly be the same Alli. The Allison I know is not the only Alli on earth. Maybe she is her boss or co-worker. Maybe she is his neighbors and calling to see if he has any toothpaste.

I reach and close my own alarm since I am awake and I want Harry to sleep as I get ready. I convince myself I am paranoid and get off the bed to take a shower.

I take my time in there, as much as I can without being late, dress up in jean shorts and a white halter top with converse, braid my wet hair since it drys very quickly in the hot summer air and return back to a sleeping Harry.

He is sprawled across the mattress like a star and he looks adorable.

The time reads 07:12 and I have about 15 minutes before I leave the house. Just as I intend to wake him up, his phone starts buzzing again.

"Is this a joke?" I ask and look at his phone.

Allison it reads again. Just as I pick up his phone to answer, the call ends.

Then one by one iMessages come to his phone screen.

Harry I know we are not your normal husband and wife but I need to know where you are after you leave me naked and tied to the bed at one in the morning.

I think I am hallucinating for a moment.

HUSBAND AND WIFE! What the fuck? What the actual fuck!

I start to go dizzy and my head spins in every direction.

Don't ignore my calls I know you are up to something. Call me when you can!

Alli texts him again and I sit on the coach to process what just happened.

He married Allison. He is married. He left me for Allison. He has lied. He has not made a choice for my good, he ditched me. Something clicks in my head.

He has been mad at Alli for getting an abortion, I was his rebound. He maybe loved me for real at some point but I was his move on. Now, for some reason they are back together, married and he is using me again. This time for sex. Thats why he freaked out so much when I told him I could be pregnant. He was worried about Allison finding out he was cheating on her.

Gabriel was shocked when he saw his credit card extracts the day he drove me to my last mission on New Years. He must have seen a ring or wedding expanses.

Thats why he is always shifting the conversations away from what he does. Thats why he said he can't move in with me if I was pregnant. It takes sense.

He married Alli, I was never worth the trouble, I was his rebound and now I am his sex toy.

A clump fixates on my chest and I feel like blood is not moving away from my heart. I can hear it shattering to a million pieces. Tears slowly run down my cheeks and the physical pain is so much, I can't make a sound.

I crawl down and without noticing, I am holding my chest as if I can stop the pain. I gave everything to him. Everything I ever had.

"Everything ok?" Harry walks in front of me, wearing only his shorts, hanging just below his fern leaves.

When I see him, the gape in my chest grows, tears gush out and I can feel my insides move with immeasurable pain. Like a baby that can't breathe from its sobs, I struggle but manage to inhale finally and get up.

He sees the tears and he sees his phone in my hand and I see his features shift.

"Your wife called." I place the phone in his hand. He freezes. I want to leave, get out of his sight, I want to slap him across his face but I am frozen, trying to stand up straight.

I have never felt a pain this great. Maybe one time. I think it was the moment that me and Rose were in the hospital and the nurse told us that our parents died. I felt like everything I ever had was ripped from my grip and I was drowning.

Thats how I feel now. I feel like my heart is ripped out of my chest and all my joints loose, disconnected from my body, my mind running loose.

"Skyler." He pleas as I walk towards the door. I am doing my best not to collapse.

"Stop! Stop it!" I scream like a five year old.

"Leave me! Please! Just go!" I scream but I don't move. What the fuck is happening to me?

"Skyler... Please!" Harry walks to me and grabs my hands. His skin makes my burn so I shake his grip off.

"I can't even look at you! You are not the man I thought you were! Harry, please..." Tears overwhelm me and it hurts so much to finally know the truth. So he did maybe protect me in a way, by keeping me in the dark. How long did he expect it to last? Use me as a fuck toy for a few more months than break the news?

"Let me explain it to you. Skyler!" He starts to get loud and steps in between me and the door. I have a hand over my chest as if I clench my shirt tight enough, I will be able to pull my broken pieces together.

My hand lifts from my chest and the back of my hand swings across his face. His face turns to the side and he puts a hand over the cheek I just slapped.

"We both know you deserved that." I bark. He looks at me, still his hand over his jaw to ease the pain. Then he turns around and starts to walk towards the door. So he is leaving, finally...

When I thought he is going out, he grabs the keys and locks the door, then takes the key and puts it in his back pocket.