Unknown Sensations

Chapter thirty four

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Harley

There's not a word in the dictionary that could describe the way I'm currently feeling . There's no emotions that could describe it either , it's better than winning awards . It's even better than being called doctor MacKesie .

Watching the three amazing souls laughing and playing together is enough to make me content . I sometimes envy the relationship between Justin and Karishma . Honestly Justin cares for this child deeply , one would swear they were blood related . It's funny how Thompson said he didn't want a family of his own , let alone marriage but the way he bonded with Justin and Karishma proved to be different than the words he once spoke to me .

I'd watch as he made breakfast for the five year old . I'd watch how they converse , Thompson was not a man of many words but he would lose himself in a conversation with the little girl . Somehow she had managed to break down his barriers and wormed herself into his personal space . I once overhead her asking him to change the colour of one of the guest bedroom's downstairs to pink because it'll be her room . She even asked for a tv to be installed and that the bedding be of a princess . I wanted to burst out with laughter as the little angel made Thompson clear his throat a countless times and shift in his position uncomfortably .

But what surprised me the most was that he actually did it . He transformed the entire bedroom to be one of princess Mulan . Her small portrait hung highly on the pink walls . The bedding was the face of her favourite princess , he filled the corner with stuffed unicorns and panda bears . He took it upon himself to install a walk in closet that is white with pink butterflies .

It was clear that Karishma viewed dark and dangerous as her father figure . The admiration was evident in her eyes . It was heart-warming to watch the lone adonis warm up to these children .

Justin's case was different . He too viewed Thompson as his father figure . He'd ask Thompson to take and fetch him from school , he'd ask him to accompany him to his soccer matches . He values his opinions , it's like his brain automatically program itself to not listen to anything when Spencer speaks . He too has his bedroom designed to his liking . I don't know what Spencer's obsession with portraits are because even Justin has one in his room .

To any other eyes out there , we were the perfect family. A mother whose a surgeon , a father whose a multi-billionaire and a CEO plus a sole owner of the number one software company across the globe and two adorable children . We were a family -not bounded by blood in our veins but by the bond and love we share among each other . Or so I'd like to think .

I came to a sudden realisation that Justin would soon be eighteen years, meaning he'll be of legal age and will no longer have a place to live . My child will have to fend for himself in this cold world without anyone taking care of him and his needs . My heart contracted and clenched painfully at the horrific near distant future .

I've grown emotionally attached to him . It would hurt me to lose him just like that , like he was never part of my life - my family . I would ask Spencer to help me forster the two of them . Seeing that we were already a family we just needed to legalize it but then again I wouldn't want to make the assumption that Spencer would be thrilled in parenting Justin ad Karishma.

Although he did say that he doesn't not want children of his own , he didn't exactly say that he wouldn't father any other children . But the again , the possible chance of rejection was high , too high . And I couldn't risk my own heart .

The adoption processes are long and dragging with a lot of paperwork but I was more than financially stable to provide for them but they would need a father figure in their life and dad couldn't possibly be that to them . JJ was already eighteen now , but he could be - as a granddad . The pending thought that I still had to alert them of my decision , and that I was having an additional member to the family . Peanut .