Unknown Sensations

Chapter seven

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Harley

My hand over my mouth , eyes wide open , rushing over to the mirror as if it would change the truth about this matter . It's like a ton of bricks fell onto me , realising that it was our first kiss ; my first kiss . That was not how I envisioned my first kiss to happen . It was supposed to be magical and intimate with someone I love not my sponsor!

Reliving yesterday's events , I realised how close I was to giving in . How close I was to giving myself to him.

I swear if the diner was empty we would've done more than just kiss and if I agreed to take the party back to his place we would have done it in the car .

Guilt eating away at me , I should call Dean and probably apologize but thinking of Dean's response gave me second thoughts .

I am not ready for confronting . Splashing my face with cold water , I head downstairs to join Anne .

The first thing that caught my eyes was the movie she was watching . There's bondage , restraining , blindfolds and floggers . She was watching none other than 'fifty shades' .

She was torturing me without knowing it . I took a seat next to her and she immediately turned to me into a cuddling position .

" Where can I find a guy who'll do me like Christian Grey ? " She sighed , faking a cry .

"I have my own Christian Grey " I mumbled and I earned a prying look from her .

"OKAY , we just kissed " I chickened out and she pulled away from our cuddle and sat up straight .

"Just do it already , what are you afraid off Harley ? The guy is handsome , you know if you keep playing this game, what'shername will take him and she will gladly give him the cookie "

Her words hit home and I feel myself getting angry and defensive.

"No Spencer does not want Courtney . Virginity is a one time thing , Anne plus I want my first time to be special . Is that too much to ask ? I want to lose it to one man , my husband. " I honestly don't understand why it was hard for everyone to understand that and just respect my decision .

"How are you going to manage that if you won't give yourself the chance to find that 'husband ' you talk about and when you get wet everytime you see him ? I bet you're swimming in wetness everytime he touches you , right? "

That was cold of her to just plainly say it like that , she hurt my feelings .

"Harley the guy chose you out of all the women that want him but you're still acting childish .
You've never been in love and you're currently experiencing it . I must say even a fourth grade student would act better than you . If you keep doing this he will lose interest in you . Honey guys like him don't go for women like us so you better wake up and smell the roses . So what if your virgin breaker won't be your husband , at least it will be someone richer than us combined. " she finished off

She was not making this easy for me , I know I'm not what Spencer goes for on a daily basis but can't she cut me some slack ?

Plain truth is ; I'd choose him any day over anyone to be my first but I'm afraid I'll love him and he won't feel the same way about me .

" I'm scared I'll fall in love with him and he might not return my feelings Anne. "

"Babe you're already in love with him and you're afraid of showing it . Harley why do you want to be the good girl everytime ? You're over twenty one years old .Your parents are so proud of you , I'm proud of you .You're a great surgeon and you'll make a great business woman so live a little."