Unknown Sensations

Chapter fifty five

dedicated to Chyncharoo & NalediShozi! ❤️

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Harley

I had difficulty in understanding my own emotions . Was I ready for them ? Will I be prepared enough ? Would I have to do it all alone . Spencer hasn't said anything about them since we left the hospital . He wasn't avoiding me but he wasn't there either .

I shared the news with Anne , who was emotional and happy for me . She and Mav were having a boy . I couldn't be more happy for my best friend . With only five months left of this pregnancy , I needed to get my house in order . Tomorrow I would go searching for a contractor and set up a meeting with Rosa and Jayda. I wanted them to design the home . I needed to ask Spencer and Justin to start working on the nursery while I focus on my project . A project I've been neglecting .

He must have heard me because he shifted from his sleeping position and opened his eyes , "Angel , you're still up ." his sleepy voice said .

" I have a lot on my mind ." I answered standing up from the bed , I walked to the window and watched the moonlight shine directly into our room .

" I'm scared Spencer ," I admitted .

" I'm scared I won't be ready for them . I'm scared I'll fail all four of them and I'm scared to go through it all alone because you haven't been exactly hands on . I didn't make these babies alone ." I voiced out quietly .

He didn't reply .

" Answer me!" I screamed at him .

Turning to him , he was watching me . Just watching .

" Tell me I have nothing to fear ! Tell me you'll be next by my side through it all and that you'll never leave me with four children ! Tell me -" I chocked out from my sob .

" Tell me that I'm not just emotional ! Tell me that you'll still want me at seven months pregnant when your babies make me look like an elephant ! " I cried .

" Please tell me you'll love me , please ." I begged with tears on my face .

He cursed himself before standing up .

His chest was bare , the only item he had on him were briefs . He stood in front of me , looking so good my insides burnt .

" Angel ." he wrapped his arms around me and just held me in place . I just cried while he soothed me . I don't know how long I cried for , I guess my heart was heavy .

He sat us down gently on the pillows on the floor . He gently wiped all my tears from my face .

" I don't know how to do this but I'm trying , Angel ." he said in a tender voice .

I knew he was trying and I appreciated that about him . Staring at his tormented face , his pupils were dilated and everything else screamed pain . I slowly brought my lips to him , "Show me ."

And he did , he took my lips ever so slowly and delicately . His hand held the side of my face as he continued to kiss me . He lifted my chin so he could have a better angle . Our lips moved in sync as the kiss punished me . It was like kissing death with love .