Exploding Heart Disorder (Fearless Vampire Killers Fanfic)

Chapter Nineteen

[Alyx's P.O.V.]

I stow my notebook away under my mattress, as I usually do when I don't want my aunt reading over my thoughts. As usual, the dog-eared and crumpled pages are scribbled with horrific words and obscene secrets of mine; things spanning from my childhood right up to the present day, that I would never dare tell another soul.

I glance up at the clock, seeing that the time is 10.30pm. Drew texted me earlier to say he would pay me a quick visit tonight, as he's done secretly these past few days since telling the others that we're dating.

I cross the room quickly, making sure my door is locked - God forbid my aunt walk in and see me sitting on the roof outside my window with a boy - before opening the window and slipping out into the cool late-autumn air. I settle down on the cold tiles, noting how grey the night sky is and hoping it doesn't decide to rain.

I hear my phone beep quietly, vibrating in my pocket angrily, and I pull it out, seeing that I have a new text message from Laurence:

'You'll have to tell him eventually, you know'.

I gulp. Ah hell. I thought I asked him to just forget this! Dammit!

I pull a hand through my puffy black hair, which is sticking out in odd places thanks to my not straightening it this morning, and my eyes, for once, are not ringed with eyeliner as they usually are. I'm aware I must look rather haggard, but I suppose I have my reasons. I've been worrying all too much these past few days.

I slip my phone back into my pocket, refusing to answer the text message that I know will just cause so much turmoil in my mind, and hug my knees to my chest, waiting in silence.

It's nothing to worry about. It was just a little mistake. A little drunken mistake. Nothing to get upset over.

I sigh deeply. I need to tell him. As little a mistake as it was, he deserves to know.

I see the dark, sandy-brown-haired figure vault over the wall quickly in one quick movement, and straighten up slightly, pasting a smile on my face to hide my worry and anxiety. As he uses the tree to assist his ascent up onto the roof - as he tends to do when he visits - I feel my phone vibrate and hear the loud beep, and practically shit myself. Please tell me it isn't-

"Hi." Drew drops onto the roof beside me, and I keep my smile plastered on my face, flopping into his embrace wordlessly. "You alright?"

I look up and nod slowly. He cocks his head to the side. "Only, you aren't covered in makeup, and your hair is like..." He imitates a small explosion with his hands, and I roll my eyes.

"I couldn't be arsed." I say quietly. "What, does it bother you, Wooly?"

He smirks, leaning down and pressing his lips against mine, making me practically melt against him. Our kiss ends after only a few short moments, and by the time he pulls away I'm red-faced and flustered. And my mind is in turmoil as I think about what I need to tell him.

My phone beeps again, vibrating, and I sigh deeply. I motion for Drew to give me a second as I pull out my phone reluctantly, looking down at the screen to see two new messages: both from Laurence.

'I'll tell him if you want; it might be better coming from me'.

'But if you want to go ahead and tell him, feel free'.

I grit my teeth, slipping my phone back into my pocket.

"What's wrong?" Drew asks; I repress a grimace, looking up and meeting his large brown eyes. Guilt stops my breathing for a second as I realise that I'm going to have to tell him. Right now. With no help.

Another damn secret, and I'm telling hm in the exact same place where I told the last one. So bloody cliched.

"I...I need to tell you something." I say quietly. My hand slips quickly into his, and I take a deep breath. "I guess I should've told you sooner, but I've been too...well, I haven't known how to tell you." He cocks an eyebrow. "I'll just get on with it. Remember at the party on Saturday? Just before you guys played some of your songs?" He nods slowly. "I...God, I'm such a bitch, it was all a drunken mistake, but, uh..." I groan, pulling a hand through my hair again and taking a deep breath. "I...I guess I kind of...well, I must've had one too many beers, because I...I kind of..." I sigh. "I kind of kissed Laurence."

Drew's hand tightens around mine, and his eyes widen; his face is splayed with shock, his brown eyes glaring in the dark night. "Kind of? What, like he kissed you? Or it was a complete accident, and-"

"Yes! An accident. A mistake." His hand tightens even more around mine.

"Please tell me you're joking." His voice is a horribly angered growl; I instantly regret being the one to tell him. "You're just joking, right? Because last I heard, that first kiss between you two was only to get a reaction out of me...and not because of any feelings-"

"There aren't any feelings-"

"Then why the fuck did you let him kiss you?" His voice is not a low whisper, but a feral hiss, and for a second my heart aches just at the utter pain in his eyes. I can tell he's upset; he never swears unless he's seriously upset, so...he's upset, for sure.

And I sure as hell can't blame him.

"I...I don't know. I...I..." I trail off as he stands up slowly, slipping his hand out of mine, looking down at me through bewildered eyes.

"Forget it." He shakes his head slowly. "You know what, I thought maybe, from the way you are and all, that maybe you'd be a little different from every other girl I've met. But it seems I was right from the very beginning: you're nothing but a cheap slut." He quickly crosses the roof wordlessly, dropping to the ground and leaving the garden via the garden wall, his usual exit.

I'm left by myself on the roof, feeling my heart shattering to pieces. Just as I gather my shell-shocked self together for the moment to drag myself back indoors, the rain I dreaded earlier begins to fall, in a torrential state similar to that of my crumbling heart.

- - - - - - - - - - -

[Author's Message]

The perfect display of teenage melodrama! I'm waiting to be pelted with seagulls for this...

Well, I'm about 4 hours late with this upload, but it couldn't be helped; I've been trying to think of something for this chapter for ages, and this just came to me. Sorry if it's horrible!

Oh, Happy New Year by the way, Killers! It's new years day and all, you know...such a cheery upload for a cheery new year, huh!

I'll be sure to upload again either tonight or tomorrow, depends when an idea springs itself unexpectedly upon me, but for now be sure to leave some feedback, and perhaps a vote?

Keep the peace, stay awesome and faith always (and happy new year, again!!)...Bevers x