Exploding Heart Disorder (Fearless Vampire Killers Fanfic)

Chapter Twenty-One

[Alyx's P.O.V.]

I sit staring down at the small metallic object in the centre of my palm. Now would be a good time to subject myself to the torture of it, right? What better excuse to punish myself than kissing my (possibly ex-) boyfriend's best friend at a party? Or rather, letting him kiss me?

I close my eyes tightly, thinking about this for a second. Do I really want to do this?

As always, the answer is the same: of course I do. Why ever not?

I grit my teeth, readying myself for the pain I'm positive will come, and-

I'm interrupted as my bedroom door is rattled, someone - undoubtedly my aunt - pounding on it.

"Alyxandrea! Open this door now, I have fantastic news for you!"

I quickly pull my hoodie back on to cover my wrists, slipping the razor blade between two pages of my notebook, cursing myself for being so stupid. I jump to my feet, quickly crossing the room and unlocking the door. My aunt is standing with her hands on her hips, blue eyes filled with utter excitement as she beams at me. Weird. She never smiles at me.

"What seems to be such good news that you had to interrupt my...uh, procrastination?" I grump.

Her harsh Scottish accent breaks the almost blissful quiet in the house - when she speaks it's like nails on a bloody blackboard, I swear.

"Your dad phoned," bloody amazing, because he doesn't phone once a week, right? "He said that he and your mum are going to make their pre-Christmas visit longer this year. Like, they're coming here tomorrow; isn't that great!"

Bloody marvellous. "Yeah. 'Course it is. Anything else?"

"Oh, actually, yeah. He also said that he's got some big news for you, but he hasn't told me what it is - silly man, that one. Guess we'll both find out what it is tomorrow!"

I resist the sudden urge to face-palm. "Well, I'm off to sleep - early start, school, you know the drill."

My aunt smiles. "G'night." She turns and makes her way into her study, leaving me to close my door and sit back down at my desk.

So. My parents are extending their visit. What joy this should be, judging by the things my mother knows about me. And my dad has exciting news? I'm guessing that's why they've extended their annual visit.

I hear my phone ring for the millionth time tonight, and check the caller ID to see that it's Mitch, again. Ah, hell. I decline the call, before thumping my head down on the desk, groaning. I need someone to talk to. Someone that knows what I'm going through, someone that understands. But the only person I could speak to probably thinks nothing more of me than he would a piece of dirt on his shoe.

I feel a thick tear run down my cheek, the first I've shed tonight.

"I wish you didn't hurt so much..." Drew's once heartfelt words ring through my mind, and I close my eyes tightly, trying to push it out of my mind. This can't get to me. I have more important things to worry about than just a guy. He's not important anyway, nothing special. In fact, he's...

I grit my teeth, wiping my eyes and picking up my phone. The text message I send is quick, hasty, making me teary-eyed as I write it, and I don't risk reading it back.

'Drew. I suppose you won't read this, since it's from me. But I'll say this anyway. An apology is pointless, because I know you don't want to know. What I did was wrong, and if it affects your friendship with Laurence in any way then there's no way I can make it up to you. You probably wouldn't let me anyway. But despite all that, I'm sorry'.

I stand up slowly, putting my phone in it's charger by my bed and crawling under the covers. I stare up at my phone for a second, and then it beeps, alerting me I have a message. My movements are sluggish and defeated as I pick up my phone and open the message, not bothering to check who it's from.

'I know.'

Another message comes through not a minute later.

'Remember when I said I wouldn't judge you? And that I didn't want to add to that collection of scars? I meant it. Still do. I'm sorry too.'

I stare down at the message, taking a deep breath.

'Sorry for what?' I quickly type.

His reply is quick. 'Adding to that collection. And I'm sorry if I've done it again. I'm sorry, but it's best if we don't speak much anymore.'

I don't get it. It was just a kiss. Why is he being so melodramatic about it all? What else am I supposed to have done?!

I grit my teeth. Spite fills my entire being - it's the only way I know to stop myself from breaking down. I drop my phone onto my bedside table, and close my eyes. The last thing I'm aware of as I drift off to sleep is the feeling of thick tears running down my cheeks.

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[Author's Message]

Sorry if this is a rubbish chapter, I didn't really know how to put this into words. I had the idea, but when I went to write it...bleurgh. So here's my attempt at...well, chapter 21.

Sorry, also, that I haven't stuck to my regular upload pattern, it's for this reasons that this chapter is part of a double upload...next chapter should be up within the hour, and if it isn't I give you permission to pelt me with seagulls...

Please leave feedback, and if you fancy giving me a hand you can always drop a vote...?

Keep the peace, stay awesome and faith always...Bevers x