Exploding Heart Disorder (Fearless Vampire Killers Fanfic)

Chapter Twenty-Seven

[Alyx's P.O.V.]

Just as I feel the harsh sting of the ridge-edged knife piercing my skin, I feel a hand quickly close over mine, tugging the knife out of my grasp. I gasp, feeling suddenly cheated as I look up at whoever stole away the one thing that could sort my problems.

Drew is looking down at me, his eyes wide and staring, and I can see the hurt and confusion in his eyes. I let go of the knife, and it slips out of his grasp, clattering against the floor. I just stare back up at him, not knowing what to say, and it seems he doesn't know what to say either. He quickly and silently tugs me into a tight embrace, holding me close, and I feel the tears running thickly down my cheeks.

"Why, Alyx? I thought you were okay..." He whispers, sounding utterly hurt. I can see how this looks. It looks as though I can't even turn to him for advice and help. My arms slowly and loosely go around his neck as I hug him back.

"I can't handle it." I whisper. "I don't want to feel like this."

"Like what, Alyx? You need to tell me what's really wrong or I can't help you."

I close my eyes even tighter in an attempt to stop the tears flowing, but it doesn't work. "My parents don't want me. Never have. All my life I've felt like nothing, people have made me feel like nothing because my parents don't want me, and no one ever has wanted me. Even my aunt doesn't want me, she was just stuck with me when my parents dumped me with her. All my life no one has wanted me, no one has looked out for me. I ran away last night because my aunt was just more or less giving me back to them. Back to the people I don't want and that don't want me."

He holds me tighter, sighing. "I want you." He whispers. "In fact, Mitch, me, Kier, Shane, Laurence and Luke...we'll look out for you. You don't need to worry about being alone anymore."

I don't answer. But the thick, horrible feeling of injustice is clawing away at the back of my mind; I needed to end everything. For my own good, as well as everyone else's. I don't want to cause any more trouble, any more heartache. I don't want to be a hinderance to anyone. Just being here is enough to be a hinderance to everyone.

After a few short moments I feel Drew pull away slowly, and his eyes are filled with sadness despite the smile on his face.

"Okay?" I nod slowly. I know it's a blatant lie. "You look exhausted. Come on." He pulls me gently along, out of the kitchen, but I slip into the front room, sitting down on the sofa silently. Drew sits down next to me, an arm around my shoulders.

"I'm not tired." I say quietly. He nods slowly, and reaches out with his other hand, his fingers trailing up from the back of my scarred hand, under my sleeves to touch the scars on my arms. I hold my breath, and he tugs at the material, pushing my sleeve up to see my scarred, pale skin.

"I don't like seeing you like this." He whispers. I close my eyes, my head bowed over, my hair covering my face. He lifts my wrist up to his lips, kissing the scarred, cut skin gently, and I feel tears forming in my eyes again. "Tell me, Alyx."

"Tell you...w-what?" I force out, choking back a sob.

"Everything. What made you the way you are? Why are you so upset?"

I open my eyes, looking up at him in silence.

"Why you want to end your life."

That one strikes me. I feel the tears splash down my cheeks, and he looks suddenly remorseful.

"I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry, I-"

"No." I shake my head slowly. "I've told you before. You've heard the whole malarkey. I really don't want to talk about it anymore." I say quietly, falling to the side until my head is resting in his lap. He plays aimlessly with my long black hair, shushing me quietly until my tears stop falling. My mind is still spinning, everything finally getting to me.