Exploding Heart Disorder (Fearless Vampire Killers Fanfic)

Chapter Thirty-Seven

[Alyx's P.O.V.]

I can hear voices, breaking through the relative quiet of my seemingly infinite slumber. I recognise them almost instantly, and the first thing I want to do is scream. I want to open my eyes, get out of wherever the hell I am, and stop everyone from hurting because of me. But no matter how hard I try, my eyes remain glued shut, my mouth stuck closed, not allowing me to speak. I feel like I'm strapped down because I just can't fracking move. I can't do anything but listen. And dammit if it doesn't frustrate the hell out of me.

"...You're doing the exact same. Taking it out on yourself despite the fact it isn't your fault." I hear Shane's familiar monotone voice, and try to open my mouth to speak. Still, I can't part my lips to let a single sound pass.

"You don't understand." I hear Drew mumble. His voice is tired, breathless, and my heart aches with the need to see him. He sounds...broken, almost. And I want to fix him. Because it's my fault he's like that. If I hadn't run out like that...

"Yes, I do-"

"No. You sympathise with me. But you don't understand." I hear a soft thump and a rustling of some sort. "I'm not hungry anyway."

A long silence passes, and then it clicks. He's so worried about me that...that he's starving himself. No. No, I can't let him do that. I can't let him punish himself for my mistakes! I don't want him to get hurt!

A small voice in the back of my head only worries me further. He's going to get worse if you don't pull yourself together and wake up. He's doing what you did at first, you know. Starving himself. And when people notice what he's doing, he'll only punish himself in other ways. Eventually he'll be in just the same amount of trouble that you're in, if not more. And it'll be all your fault.

I can hear loud, familiar voices, the first distinctive one being Kier, as always. I try to fight against the darkness that's keeping me down, that darkness that's keeping me from seeing the ones closest to me, the ones that care enough to be here...wherever I am.

I'm stronger than this. I can fight this. I just want to wake up.I just want to move. I just want to see my aunt. I just want to see my friends.

I just want to be able to tell Drew that I love him.

And with that, my eyes snap open as if from instinct, and my gaze travels towards the open door. I see several blurred figures enter the room, and then stop dead and go silent for a moment. My vision focuses itself in time to allow me to see a brown-haired giant of a girl throw herself with an over-excited squeak across the room. I gulp, and then she scoops me up in a tight hug, winding me for a second.

"Oh my god, Alyx! You're awake! Oh my frack! Timids, why didn't you say anything?!"

I grin as Mitch skips back to sit on the edge of the bed, and high-five her weakly.

"We didn't notice." I hear Shane chuckle, and they all decide to crowd around the bed, whilst Laurence runs off to get a nurse. Why, I'm not so sure; I mean, it's not as if I nearly died, right?

"Are you feeling alright?" I hear Drew whisper through all the babbling coming from the others. I glance towards him, nodding slightly.

"I guess. It really depends: where in the name of the one ring of Mordor am I?" He smiles even wider then, his hand resting against mine. His skin is burning hot against mine, feverishly so.

"Hospital. Do you remember what happened?"

I nod. "I was an idiot. I ran out onto the road, and I-"

"Sh." He pushes the hair back from my face gently, and my cheeks flush slightly red.

"Are you okay?" I ask him pointedly. He just nods.