[✔] lightbulb » lee taeyong & na jaemin

ch. 13

cosmogyral: whirling around the universe

» lee taeyong's pov »

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! how could i have made you ANOREXIC?!" i was yelling in her face.

she closed her eyes and stayed silent. another wave of anger washed over me, and my vision went red.

"ara! answer the damn question!" i clenched my teeth and grabbed her shoulders, shaking them, but she stayed still. "ARA!" i yelled again. i squeezed tighter. yet, she stayed motionless.

i held back the urge to slap her, as she hummed for a bit. she swayed side to side, and i felt myself falter from the confusion.

i waited a few seconds, seeing her face calm. she finally opened her mouth after a long wait. a smile small appeared on her face, but it wasn't her usual smile. it quickly fell.

"'ara'," she mocked. "'ara, you're too fat. go diet, ara.'" she rolled her shoulders and continued smoothly. "'ara, don't wear that. it makes you look fat. ara, eat this, ara, don't eat that. ara, skip a meal today.'" she opened her eyes. "who said that to me? who, taeyong?" she looked at me with tears in her eyes, yet her voice was smooth and calm. terrifyingly calm.

i gulped.

"me."

——

» kwan ara's pov »

"ah. you see, now, taeyong? you see?"

his face was red, but he was speechless.

"ara, i-"

"you're what, taeyong?" i smirked, with a confidence i shouldn't have felt.

"i'm sorry," he muttered reluctantly, looking down at the floor.

"what did you say?" i feigned. putting a cupped hand to my ear, i motioned for him to repeat himself. "i couldn't hear you."

"i said...'i'm sorry,'" he said louder, still avoiding eye contact. i accepted it with a smirk.

"sorry never did anything, huh?" i quirked an eyebrow.

he made eye contact with me, and he was angry.

"STOP IT!" he shouted. "stop guilt-tripping me like this. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

i looked at him square in the eye. "keep telling yourself that." i lifted up my shirt to reveal my ribs. "but it will never change this." i let go of my shirt and stood up. "i'm leaving, i'll see you soon."

taeyong snorted. "fuck you."

i laughed bitterly. "many men happen to want to. be lucky that i chose you."

i walked out the door, feeling the air woosh as he attempted to slap the back of my head and missed. although he could've, i could tell that he wouldn't follow me. he would be too deep in his thoughts to chase after me.

a part of me was glad that i had finally told him; that he had finally figured out what was wrong with me. i was not his perfect doll. but the look on his face had made me feel slightly guilty. i rolled my shoulders back to relieve the tension from him squeezing them too hard.

crossing the boundary line, i walked over to jaemin's house and knocked hard, three times.

"na jaemin, open up!"

——

» na jaemin's pov »

"i think...you should pick up martial arts again. i have a friend there who would happily give you a discount." i suggested, handing ara her a cup of her favorite tea.

when i had opened the door, ara was already shoving her way in. i had locked it behind her, and gestured for her to sit down. she had explained to me that she told taeyong about her anorexia, and her main reason.

"i admit, i was trying to provoke him on purpose," she had admitted before. i just nodded, and prepared her tea.

now here she was. she stayed silent, holding the tea with both of her trembling hands. i wasn't sure whether she was holding it to avoid dropping the cup with her trembling hands or if she was warming up her cold hands, a feature we both shared. i assumed it was the latter.

"i mean," i continued. "you were a black belt. you'll pick it up quickly." i cleared my throat. "...and you'll need the skills."

she finally made eye contact with me. "why?"

"in case...he ever loses it." her face immediately grew angry.

"no! i don't need it!" she cried. "i'm going home." she stood up and put down her cup of tea, which was now cold and untouched, still filled to the brim.

"ara," i called weakly. "stay. listen to me."

she rolled her eyes and left, slamming the door behind her. i was exhausted.

why didn't she understand?

he would hurt her again, that monster. she wasn't dumb; we both knew it would happen again. and what would happen if he crossed the line?

i just wanted her to be safe and happy.

with me.