[✔] lightbulb » lee taeyong & na jaemin

ch. 6

athazagoraphobia: the fear of forgetting, being forgotten or ignored, or being replaced

» author's pov // 4 years ago »

ara came to visit jaemin at his locker with an extra bounce in her steps. she had a silly smile on her face, but it dimmed down when she stood right in front of jaemin.

"oh my gosh, jaemin, you won't belie-"

"hey, why are you late?" he asked, his voice strangely hoarse.

ara's whole stance changed. the light in her eyes died, and her shoulders fell. "oh, um." her eyes flew around suspiciously, as if looking for somebody. "no reason. i was just talking to my teacher." she hopped slightly in front of him. "wanna get something to eat? i'm starving."

refusing to make eye contact, the strange look on his face made her falter.

"we don't have to, if you don't want to," she said, frowning, failing to conceal her hurt feelings. "maybe tomorrow? before school?"

"no," jaemin finally said. "it's just..."

he grabbed her wrist and dragged a confused ara outside, not saying a single word along the way. she yelped as the grip on her wrist tightened. students stared and whispered, but jaemin ignored it all. some even pointed, not even bothering to pretend they weren't gossiping.

"why is he grabbing her like that?"

"isn't she dating-"

"oh, we know what's going on."

ara stumbled along, not knowing what to say, but having a feeling that it would be important. her ears were red, as she didn't like the attention. she never did like having people look at her, unless it was for her talents, like wrestling.

finally, they arrived behind the school, where they would be hidden from other eyes and ears.

when jaemin stopped, he turned around so that his body would face hers, but if somebody were to come, would only see his back. he looked up at ara's face for a second, but her scrutinizing expression made him look back down.

her nose scrunched up in that adorable way of hers. "wha-"

"i like you, ara," jaemin confessed quickly. he fidgeted with his fingers, twirling the ring he wore on his thumb around.

ara blushed, but she wasn't surprised. "jaemin..." she shuffled her feet.

he nodded curtly. "yeah?" he was obviously disappointed, but trying to hide his feelings. although, it was a little too late to hide feelings.

"i'm sorry, but i can't say yes to you," she murmured, as jaemin's heart broke into a million pieces.

because just an hour before jaemin confessed, taeyong had. and ara already said yes. she couldn't just revoke her 'yes' an hour later. she loved taeyong too much.

who did she love more?

she didn't know.

"i love you, jaemin," she spoke regretfully. "i'm sorry."

jaemin nodded. "i understand. you love taeyong more, huh?" his eyes were now empty. it wasn't necessarily cold—it just looked as if his body had shut down to save him from the pain now. save the pain for later, for the middle of the night when he couldn't sleep, and would have to deal with his emotions alone.

her eyes widened. "n-no! i mean, i said 'yes' to him b-but..."

"it's okay, ara," jaemin smiled, although it didn't reach his eyes. "i understand. really."

ara stayed silent.

"how did you even know it was him?" she asked in a small voice.

he laughed bitterly. "it's obvious."

obvious in the way you laugh with him, smile at him, prefer to spend time with him than with me, the way you stare at him. the way you never do with me.

again, ara remained silent. the two stared at each other. there were too many different emotions seen in their eyes to identify. but there was one that stuck out in jaemin's—heartbreak.

"i'll go on now." without even bothering to say goodbye, he turned and stiffly walked away, leaving her speechless. she crossed her arms and looked up at the setting sun.

"i'm sorry, jaemin," she whispered quietly, long after he left. "i'm sorry."

——

the reality started to hit her. jaemin liked her, kwan ara. kwan ara, who was in love with both taeyong and jaemin. it felt as if she was being ripped apart into to pieces.

tears filled her eyes, but she blinked them back. she would never cry because of a guy, no matter what. she stood there, thinking about everything. many people would call her lucky, and she knew that. both taeyong and jaemin were extremely good looking and funny, and nearly everybody had a crush on one of them or both.

she sighed. suddenly, she felt arms wrap around her waist.

"who-?"

she turned around, and taeyong's lips met hers.

"me. lee taeyong." he smirked.

oh yes, lee taeyong, she thought.

"you're a hard person to find." he laughed.

she shrugged half-heartedly. "i decided to go behind the school and go home from the back."

he poked her nose. "don't go!"

she smiled at him, opposite to the painful emptiness in her heart. "can we go somewhere? get ice cream? please?" she really needed it.

taeyong smiled but shook his head. "our first date is going to be better than getting ice cream at some place."

she whined and stomped her foot down. "but i like ice cream!" already, jaemin was slipping from her mind. why did she forget about him so quickly?

taeyong rolled his eyes. "we can get that after the date!"

she grinned. "okay! yay!" ara cheered, making him giggle. "i scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!" by now, who was jaemin?

taeyong kissed her softly again. i love you, he wanted to say. he tucked a stray hair behind ara's ear.

yet he felt it was too early. after all, you don't love somebody before your first date, do you?

"i'll see you soon, ara."

she smiled. "soon."

the last traces of jaemin came from him coming back to apologize, only to see taeyong and ara kiss. he walked away without even blinking.