[✔] lightbulb » lee taeyong & na jaemin

ch. 43

aviothic: the strong desire to be up in air or to fly

» kwan ara's pov // present »

it was four in the morning, and earlier than when i usually woke up. for once, i felt a little emptiness in my stomach, so i got up and walked to the kitchen.

in the kitchen, there was taeyong, hands on the counter and staring out the window. i sighed. i truly missed him. the past week, he had been treating me better. at least, ever since miyeon. but i could see he was trying.

i walked over to taeyong and hugged him from behind, rubbing my face into his back like a little kid.

"i love you, taeyong. i miss you."

he turned around quickly and slapped me, shoving me to the floor.

"don't touch me."

cue the heartbreak. cue the tears. this was a script i knew by heart.

——

» lee taeyong's pov // the next night »

i slept restlessly. ara, ara, ara. she filled my thoughts. as i fell deeper into unconsciousness, i also fell into a dream.

ara was at the edge of a cliff.

"it's me or you, taeyong," she said, smiling sadly. walking closer, i saw that she had tears in her eyes, but she held up a hand for me to stop coming forward.

"what's your answer?" she asked.

i stuttered, "i- i–"

she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "i see. i still love you, though."

she jumped off the cliff, placing her hands on her heart as she fell.

i sat up in my bed, sweaty, and with tears streaming down my face and gasping. and i knew i had to do it.

i walked into the kitchen, the same one where i shoved ara last night. but tonight, i wouldn't let anything happen to her anymore.

this would be the last night.

——

» kwan ara's pov // present »

loud noises from outside my room woke me up, and i tip-toed into the kitchen to see what was going on. was there a burglar?

i peeked into the kitchen with an old baseball bat i picked up from the closet. stealthily turning my head and gripping the baseball bat even harder, until i saw who it was. i laughed shakily. it was just taeyong. i loosened my grip on the baseball bat.

he was looking through the medicine cabinet, knocking down every pill bottle i had ever bought. there were broken caps everywhere, and pills were crushed on the counter.

"taeyong," i said gently, to not startle him. i put the baseball bat down slowly. "what are you doing?"

he turned around and looked at me with red eyes. he was shivering, and i wasn't sure why. chills went down my back.

"taeyong? what's going on?" looking around, i saw smashes pieces of alcohol bottles all over the floor. he was gripping one of the bottle's neck like it was his lifeline, even though the bottle was already empty. i wasn't that stupid. he needed professional attention. his eyes were void of emotion, and it was as if he didn't even recognize me. i was scared of what he might do. "taeyong, put the bottle down," i commanded, firm yet gentle.

he walked forward robotically, and i threw my hands up to protect my face out of instinct. He faltered, and so i let my guard down. "taeyong," i opened my arms and walked forward to hug him, "it's okay. it's just me, ara, your girlfriend of four years." a little recognition dawned on his eyes.

"forgive me, ara," he rushed out. it was the first time that night that i had seen any type of emotion from him. my heart folded over itself.

"forgive you for what?" i said softly, with tears stupidly filling my eyes. it felt like a goodbye.

"this."

he smashed the bottle of alcohol against my head. the world blinked in and out as i crumpled to the ground.

"it was me or you, ara," he sobbed. "i'm choosing me. you...deserve better."

the world turned black with his beautiful face above mine and his beautiful tears dripping onto my face.

——

» kwan ara's pov // present »

i woke up to a burning sensation in my head. i groaned with pain and shifted a little to get my blood pumping.

"ara? are you okay? ara! answer me!" a voice called.

jaemin? what was he doing here?

"ara, please," his voice cracked, "wake up."

the raw pain in his voice caused my eyes to flutter open. "jaemin? nana? what are you doing here?" he looked cute today, and i decided to tell him. "hey. you look cute today."

jaemin broke out in a small smile, but not before his face fell again.

he read my expression for a moment before talking. slow and calculated, he asked, "how much do you remember?"

i was still waking up. my brain froze. "what do you mean? what happened to taeyong?" i sat up and looked around. "why am i in your bed?" i gasped. "wh-what happened...?"

jaemin seemed to be tearing up. he looked away and wiped at his face harshly. "taeyong, he..." his voice broke. "taeyong overdosed. i came over last night after hearing a lot of noise coming from your house."

i wasn't listening to anything after overdosed. i had slapped my hands over my ears to drown out the sound of jaemin's words and the loud pounding of my heart. i shut my eyes and pretended i was anywhere but here, not hearing any of this. i was not this person. this couldn't be happening to me.

after a few minutes, jaemin gently peeled my hands away from my ears and rubbed my back. i threw his hands off and stood before him.

"where is he?! where is he?!" i shouted. i stood up and started to shake jaemin with tears rolling down my face. "WHERE?!"

jaemin shook his head gently. "the hospital. they took him."

"we need to go now! now, jaemin!" i was screaming. i felt like i was going crazy. "NOW!"

he shook his head again. i was shaking all over, my hands balled up. "we can't, ara. they saw all your bruises."

my heart dropped. "no..." i whispered. "no, no, no. they couldn't–they can't–they-"

jaemin wrapped his arms around me. i sobbed like my world fell apart.

because it did.