[✔] lightbulb » lee taeyong & na jaemin

ch. 30

halcyon: calm and peaceful; happy, prosperous

» kwan ara's pov »

"taeyong? are you home?" i asked as i shut the door. i had just gotten home from my mom's and he seemed to have left. i sighed, tired with the strangeness of miyeon and jaemin. did they have history together? from what i had seen, it seemed like bad history.

in wet clothes, i shivered. it was time to shower and go to sleep in my own room. i looked at taeyong's door. why not sleep in his bed tonight?

after my shower, i wrapped his blankets around my body and pretended that he was here with me; actually here to love me.

——

» kwan ara's pov // the next morning »

"taeyong? are you doing okay?" i asked, hearing him moan with pain. i sat beside him on his bed, putting my hand against his forehead. he was burning.

when i had woken up and realized that he hadn't gone to work yet, i knew something was wrong. i checked up on him, to see that he had a bad fever.

"my head feels like it's exploding, if that's okay to you," he groaned.

i sighed, and put a small face towel in a bucket of ice and water. squeezing the excess water out, i carefully put it on taeyong's forehead.

"it's okay, taeyong, it'll go away soon," i murmured. "we ran out of medicine so i'm gonna go get some, okay?"

he groaned. "hurry."

i nodded, and rushed to the store. i bought the medicine i thought would work best, but i wasn't sure so i bought other brands just to be safe. we needed all the other ones, anyway. running out of the store, i drove back home.

going into his room, i walked in on him trying to sit back up.

"no! stop!" i cried. "what the heck are you doing? lay down!"

he looked at me, but his eyes weren't focusing. "i'm gonna take a walk, that's what." he stood up, barely able to hold his own weight. i was immediately placing his weight on me, helping him stand.

"lay back down," i begged. "you can work out or exercise or walk later."

he sighed. "no. now, ara."

i saw the way he clenched his teeth. he needed this walk; to prove that he wasn't 'weak' and that he was the man of the house. i sighed. "alright, but i'm gonna help, okay?"

he frowned. "uh, ara, i don't need your help to-"

"look at yourself!" i snapped. "you can barely stand. i'm helping."

he knew that when i was like this, nobody could change my mind. "fine."

"good."

i helped him to the sidewalk. when we got there, he was sweating already.

"oh, taeyong," i muttered. i knew better than to say, "i told you so."

he leaned against me. "i'm sorry," he murmured. "you were right."

"let's go back inside, yeah?"

he shook his head. "i need a few minutes of fresh air to clear my head." he plopped down on the grass and patted the space in front of him, inviting me to sit in between his legs. i sat down and leaned back against his chest, content as he wrapped his arms around me.

we sat there, absorbing the sun and enjoying the rare moment.

"you're so beautiful, ara," he randomly blurted out.

i turned around and smiled at him, laughing. "what?"

"it's true," he said matter-of-fact, blushing.

i couldn't help but press my hand against his cheek. the heat surprised me. "taeyong! you're burning like this and you can still say that stuff?" my eyes widened. "it's the fever making you say that stuff!" i quickly jumped up and grabbed his hand. "c'mon, c'mon, we're gonna get you in bed."

he whined. "no, i don't want to!"

"what are you, seven!? get up!" i pulled harder on his hands, to no avail.

"no!"

i sighed. gathering my strength, i carried him bridal style.

"damn! i'm strong!" i gaped at my arms as if they weren't mine. it must've been the taekwondo i was doing.

"damn! you are strong!" taeyong agreed.

i ran forward with him in my arms. it must've been a funny sight for onlookers, and i could prove it with the way they were staring. i came to our front door and propped his weight on my knee to free a hand, opening the door. arriving to his room, i set him down gently.

"let me get your medicine and towel, okay?" i headed towards the kitchen before he could respond, opening the plastic bag with medicine that i had just bought. i also got the items for a fever: the hand towel and bowl of ice-cold water.

i came into the bedroom, soaking the towel in the water and placing it on his forehead again. i gave him his medicine, as well.

i swept his hair to the side. he seemed to be asleep, since his face was free of all of life's stresses. i sighed with relief. i watched him as he rested.

i couldn't help but stare.

"so perfect," i whispered. "so, so, perfect." i leaned over to kiss him on the cheeks. "so perfect. the most perfect human alive. perfect."

i lifted up the blankets so that i could get on the bed. once i got comfortable, i snuggled into him.

"taeyong, i love you," i whispered.

he groaned, a sign of waking up. i lowered my voice even more, still feeling the need to express my love.

i made my voice barely audible, even to myself. "taeyong, i love you so much it hurts. a lot. because you're so perfect. so perfect. i would be nothing without you. you are everything to me. perfect."

i fell asleep to the perfection of lee taeyong.

——

» lee taeyong's pov »

ara didn't know it, but i heard everything she said. i was still awake, just too brain-numb to move my body. i forced myself to be awake, to feel ara treat me with a gentleness i didn't deserve, and ara's body against mine. something i treasured. she was so small.

my heart swelled as she told me she loved me. how perfect i was. how she was nothing without me.

she was wrong. so, so, so wrong. i was not perfect. i made her shrivel down to a nothing.

i waited for her to fall asleep, and then turned so that i could face her; really absorb her details. she was so perfect. i tilted my head to give her a soft kiss. she was my everything. i watched as her eyelashes fluttered. i turned her the other way so that i could spoon her. she was so skinny. so frail and weak.

if i was everything to her, then i must've broke her.

that sounded about right.

kwan ara, i broke you.