[✔] lightbulb » lee taeyong & na jaemin

ch. 21

irusu: pretending that nobody is at home

» kwan ara's pov »

it was morning, and i was over at jaemin's house. together, we were reviewing the details that miss kim had sent us. we were lying on our stomachs on his bed, elbows propping us up. i planned to come back to my house to shower and then go to my mom's later.

jaemin's phone was in between us, and our heads got close to read the email.

i tried reading the email, but my hair kept on blocking my view. jaemin casually tucked my hair behind my ear for me, and i smiled sheepishly at him. he tilted a chin down at his phone, diverting my attention.

"look," jaemin said. "it says we have to come today, to see if we fit the class." his eyes sparkled as he looked at me. "should we beat a master or two up today?"

i snorted. "yeah, and then get permanently kicked out. i don't know if we're miss kim's"—i raised my fingers to do finger quotes—"'star students' anymore."

he pretended to cry. "y-you mean...we're not her favorites anymore?" he smacked my arm repetitively and started to sit up, rolling back and forth on the bed and screaming hysterically.

i smacked him back. "will you please focus? you have too much energy to be healthy! it's probably all those eight-shot espresso drinks you have..."

he fake-sneered at me. "and if i drink that much coffee a day?" he said sassily, reaching over for his dark-as-night, poisonous death coffee at the same time. he sipped it without blinking.

i cringed. "okay...but if you die early-" my stomach growled loudly. "oh my god, that was so embarrassing i-" my stomach interrupted me again, with an even louder growl. "oh, gosh, uh-"

jaemin interrupted with a hand in the air. "ara, have you eaten yet?"

lying straight through my teeth, i smiled and nodded. "mhm, i had a pretty big breakfast today."

"are you su-"

a wave of darkness embraced me as my body trembled. rolls of pain washed over me, slow at first, then faster. i watched, with an almost out-of-body feel, as jaemin came closer and shook my shoulders. "ara!" he shouted, as the world turned darker. i smiled at him. "ara!"

i never got to hear anything else. the world turned black as i passed out; from hunger, or something else, i wasn't sure.

——

» na jaemin's pov »

"ara!" i shouted as her eyes rolled back. i internally cursed myself. how could i have been so carried away with myself that i didn't even notice her sunken eyes? her body still shook, and i was trying my hardest to not panic.

breath, breath, breath.

i took a hold of ara and began to pull her up to my pillows. "what do i do, what do i do?" i mumbled.

her shirt lifted up to her rib cage and i couldn't help but stare. she needed to eat, and desperately. it wasn't "just" a disorder anymore. it would be her death if i let this continue.

i groaned with anger. what was taeyong doing to her? signing her death papers?

after pulling down ara's shirt, i made sure that she was comfortable. it was hot, so i decided to place a thin blanket on her. i felt her forehead. it was too warm. i ran into the bathroom and got a towel and a bowl filled with ice and water.

i came back and noticed that she wasn't shaking anymore. but her face was shiny with a thin layer of sweat, so i wiped her face with the wet towel and placed it over her forehead. her breathing was slowing. she was fully unconscious.

worried, i fished my phone out of my pocket and called her mom.

"mom?" i said as she picked up.

"jaemin? what's going on? why are you calling me when i'm at work?" she sounded tired.

i winced. "we won't be coming today, i'm sorry. ara...she's sick." i didn't know if ara had told her mom about her anorexia, and i wouldn't be the one telling her mom. "really sick," i added.

"oh no," she groaned. i hated having to worry her. "tell my love to get better soon, okay? you guys can come tomorrow, instead, if she feels better. i won't have work tomorrow so feel free to drop by around dinner time or even earlier if you want to help."

i nodded, but then remembered that she couldn't see. "yes, mom. i'll take good care of ara. i'll probably come early to help you cook and come back for ara."

she sighed, and a long silence followed.

"you're too good," she said eventually. "sometimes, i wish that she had chosen you instead." she let out another sigh. "you're too good," she repeated. "too good."

i faltered. "mom?"

"i just wish," she said, "that you could have been my son-in-law. you would be the perfect son-in-law. but this taeyong guy, whom i haven't even met yet, he has her heart doesn't he? he has her heart." she swallowed hard. "jaemin, i know how you feel about her. i can see it in your eyes. just remember, jaemin, that even if she doesn't love you back the same way, you still can love other people. there are more people out there."

i leaned against the wall. "yes, there are more people," i said weakly. "but i can't. i don't think i'll ever love anybody the way i love her."

"mmm," she said. "i remember miyeon. i heard that she's back in the city. remember her, too. she's hurting, still," she said softly.

i closed my eyes. "yes, mom," i said, as a single tear rolled down my cheek. "yes."