𝐹𝑖𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼𝑐𝑒 [𝑇𝑜𝑑𝑜𝐷𝑒𝑘𝑢/𝐷𝑒𝑘𝑢𝑇𝑜𝑑𝑜]

Chapter 43 - Touch

Friends, I watched us as we changed,
the feelings in my headspace rearranged.
I want you more than I've wanted anyone
isn't that dangerous?

(Fools - Lauren Aquilina)

~
⚠️ WARNING ⚠️
This chapter has 3 POV changes.
The 3rd person POV contains a bit of smut, so in case you're not comfortable in reading that specific part (I doubt it but you never know),
I'll leave these 🥦🔥 emojis when things start to get 'steamy' (?), so you can easily skip it.
Anyway, if you decide to skip that part, you can resume reading from this emoji -> ❄️.

Also, this chapter had already been published a while ago and I unpublished it because I didn't like how it turned out. I changed it a bit from the original chapter, I made it shorter and cut off some things that I intend to put in later chapters. I think it's okay for you to read it again.

That said, I hope you enjoy!

~

Chapter 43 - 'Touch'

DAY 436

MIDORIYA's POV

In a single week I realized how many things had changed since the last time we hanged out together, there were a lot of things I didn't know about him and Shōto himself wasn't the same person anymore, but even if I didn't expect things to be easy, I didn't expect them to be that hard either.

Most of the rumors about Shōto's family had quieted down; the rumors must have got to the teachers and they must have taken the matter in their own hands because the amount of pitiful or disgusted glances had decreased over the past week, thought there were still some people who'd keep glancing Shōto's way in disgust or pity. I don't know if he noticed or not, since he'd usually have his glance fixed to the floor or on our intertwined fingers, but I did notice the way they would stare at him. It's not like I didn't get my fair amount of glares as well, I was just more worried about his mental health than mine; I could take a couple glares and being called fag, it wasn't such a big deal, I could pretend that it didn't hurt me.

Even though I wasn't really welcomed around Miyako, Jirō and Momo, the latter seemed willing to cooperate a bit for the sake of Shōto and would regularly talk to me about him or join us for lunch once in a while.
She was the one telling me that Shōto was seeing a psychiatrist and that he was taking antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds; things that I was completely unaware of, and that made me feel like shit.
I should have known something so important about my boyfriend, it concerned his health after all, but to be honest, Shōto didn't seem willing to share anything with me and whenever I tried to broach the subject of his menthol health, he'd either chose silence or say something rude to make me back off. As a result, all I knew about his situation came from my talks with Momo.
She was the one mentioning how many times a week he's meet up with his psychiatrist; Shoto didn't want to talk about it at all, and I had a feeling that he wasn't actually showing up to their sessions because he was always with me or the girls and not once he went to a session when he was hanging out with me. I really hoped that it was just because his sessions happened to be on the days he'd hang out with the girls, but it seemed pretty unlikely. So, as an idiot I kept trying to ask him about that, and every time he'd quickly discharged the topic or get angry because I was meddling too much into his business.

Adding to that mess, he had recurrent nightmares and I found out the hard way; waking up in the middle of the night to a trashing sweating Shōto was not the best experience and after the first time I had trouble sleeping. Sometimes he'd just wake up with a chocked scream, but sometimes he seemed unable to move and talk and trying to calm him down in that situation was hard. It broke my heart how, whenever he was able to move, he'd silently try to get out of bed and reach the bathroom trying to not wake me up, obviously failing in the process. He never managed to get any farther than sitting up because I was already awake the moment I felt him moving in my arms.
I was tired, I needed some good sleep, but I felt like the only way I could get the rest I needed was to leave  him to sleep on his own and I didn't want to leave him alone to face whatever hunted him at night.
And I knew he could tell how tired I was, with every passing day I could see how he felt guiltier than the day before, and no matter how many times I reassured him that I was fine and he didn't need to feel guilty for something he couldn't control, that guilty expression never left his face for a second.