𝐹𝑖𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼𝑐𝑒 [𝑇𝑜𝑑𝑜𝐷𝑒𝑘𝑢/𝐷𝑒𝑘𝑢𝑇𝑜𝑑𝑜]

Chapter 29 - Remorse

The storms are raging on the rolling sea and on the highway of regret,
the winds of change are blowing wild and free...

(Make you feel my love - Adele)

~•~

⚠️DISCLAIMER!⚠️
This part is the continuous of Chapter 28,
and takes place after Chapter 24.

Chapter 29 - Remorse

DAY 294

MIDORIYA'S POV

I've never had sleepless night before then, I've never had terrible nightmare either.
I couldn't sleep, or to be fair, I could fall asleep, but I was terrified of it because every time I'd close my eyes and thought that I was finally going to find some peace from my messed-up mind and feelings, I ended up waking in the middle of the night sweating and crying. Nightmares would haunt my sleep.
Whenever I closed my eyes, all I could see was blood, and the metallic smell in the air around us ad I held the weight of his body in my arms; I could sense death lingering over us.

Mr Aizawa told us we'd be having a couple days of break from class so that the school could take care of the situation properly and we could 'try' to relax.
I wondered how that was supposed to help us, it surely didn't help me at all. I ended up hiding in my room most of the time and only getting out to get something to eat, even though my appetite was almost nonexistent. Ochaco would be all over me every time I got out of my room, and I honestly couldn't stand a word she said or her presence at all. She pissed me off and I wanted nothing more than for her to disappear; at some point I even wished she were dead. I barely paid any attention to her anyway...

I could feel Miyako's glare on me, everyone's eyes on me.
I couldn't avoid but wonder what she told them: maybe just the truth? The truth was more than enough to make me the most disgusting person of the school.
Did she tell them I brought him to the point of choosing death over life?
I couldn't bring myself to care as they stared at me from afar in that moment.
Not even Iida talked to me; I didn't know why but I wish he did. He saw that, I thought he could understand the horror I was trying to face and that we could go through that together, but apparently, he just felt different. I hated it but it was alright for them to hate me after all I had done to that point.

I could remember every mistake I made, but I couldn't think of a way I could have avoided making them. Every action kept repeating in loop in my mind, there were no other paths I could have taken or to be honest, there was no other way I could have acted differently because I wasn't brave enough to.

The class was silent for the first time since school started. It never happened before that Aizawa would walk into class and not have to recall someone to shut up or sit. That morning everyone was already sitting at their own desk in silence when he walked in.
He talked as if nothing happened, going on with class stuff and writing a few things on the blackboard.
I didn't pay attention and I knew I'd be regretting it later, but all I could focus on was the empty desk at the back of the class. Shōto was quiet and never made a sound in class, you could barely notice his presence, yet I could feel that he wasn't there, and I couldn't stop gazing that way and feel my heart squeeze in pain.

"Is anyone gonna ask? Or we're gonna pretend it never happened?" - Kacchan snapped interrupting Mr Aizawa and recalling everyone attention including mine.

"What is it Bakugō?" - Mr Aizawa sighed placing the chalk on the desk.

"Guess I'll be the one bringing up the elephant in the room! Is the half and half bastard still alive?" - he snickered resting his back against the chair and crossing his arms.